U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-03-2014, 07:18 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,697 posts, read 4,330,816 times
Reputation: 10277

Advertisements

I've posted before about my hoarder housemate. He's gotten a little better since I've just starting throwing out all the stale food and stuff he brings home. I think he's hiding things in his room now, so at least I don't have to look at it or fall over all his junk.

But now a new twist has turned up (this guy is beginning to feel like he's not worth all the trouble). At the time he asked to rent my spare room, I'd been looking for a new place and giving serious consideration to moving to a new town because I don't like the isolation that comes from living in my current place way out in the country, and I'm tired of fighting the housing shortage around here due to a major influx of energy company workers. I especially wanted to get out of here before winter because all the snow and ice on these unplowed country roads and trying to get my old truck to start in the morning got real old real fast last winter. I explained all that to my housemate when he first asked about the rental. He replied by telling me that I could always get rides into town with him if needed, that he'd check out my old truck for me, help with shoveling the snow, etc., etc. He finally talked me into it because I can certainly use the extra money that he pays me for rent and the fact that I really hate all the trouble of finding a new apartment in a new town 200 miles away, packing up all my stuff, and hauling it all up there that this is going to cause me.

Well, yesterday an older friend of my housemate's called him and asked him to come stay at his ranch for a week because he's pretty sick and had to go to the hospital ASAP. My housemate starting going on and on about all the help his friend needs and how the man is getting more decrepit by the day and that the friend's wife had already asked my housemate if he would be willing to just come out and live on the ranch and act as the paid foreman if things got really bad. This could all come down as soon as January, depending. Well, good for my housemate if he gets the job - he'll be able to hoard all kinds of junk on a ranch, but he will also be breaking the promise he made to me.

This really ticks me off, because I could have been gone from here by now. Instead, I have to deal with the uncertainty of what's going to happen maybe tomorrow, maybe next month - who knows? And I'll end up stuck out here alone for the winter - exactly what I was trying to avoid. Soooo... I've decided to start checking Craigslist again along with the other apartment finder sites. If I can find a decent new rental, I'm going to jump at the chance whether my housemate has gotten hired as foreman or not. I figure if they haven't hired him by then, they will be soon anyhow. Besides, my housemate is a big boy now and can take care of himself. Do you think I'm being selfish or unfair to make this decision the way I have?

Last edited by Colorado Rambler; 11-03-2014 at 07:29 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-03-2014, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
No. You need to rid yourself of this leech ASAP and get a place you can easily afford on your own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 08:22 PM
 
587 posts, read 701,283 times
Reputation: 807
Not at all -- you need to look out for yourself. He needs to look out for himself. You're roommates, not lovers, so you don't owe each other anything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 09:16 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,246,664 times
Reputation: 12632
Not in the least. Do what is best for yourself. This guy is nothing but trouble. Put yourself first. In your situation you have only you to look after yourself . Do what makes your life easier and safer.

Your room mate will be fine. He'll just go latch onto the people at the ranch.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,726 posts, read 23,697,394 times
Reputation: 30431
Try to make sure he throws out all of his garbage first. Good luck with that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 09:25 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,987,519 times
Reputation: 62022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler View Post
I've posted before about my hoarder housemate. He's gotten a little better since I've just starting throwing out all the stale food and stuff he brings home. I think he's hiding things in his room now, so at least I don't have to look at it or fall over all his junk.

But now a new twist has turned up (this guy is beginning to feel like he's not worth all the trouble). At the time he asked to rent my spare room, I'd been looking for a new place and giving serious consideration to moving to a new town because I don't like the isolation that comes from living in my current place way out in the country, and I'm tired of fighting the housing shortage around here due to a major influx of energy company workers. I especially wanted to get out of here before winter because all the snow and ice on these unplowed country roads and trying to get my old truck to start in the morning got real old real fast last winter. I explained all that to my housemate when he first asked about the rental. He replied by telling me that I could always get rides into town with him if needed, that he'd check out my old truck for me, help with shoveling the snow, etc., etc. He finally talked me into it because I can certainly use the extra money that he pays me for rent and the fact that I really hate all the trouble of finding a new apartment in a new town 200 miles away, packing up all my stuff, and hauling it all up there that this is going to cause me.

Well, yesterday an older friend of my housemate's called him and asked him to come stay at his ranch for a week because he's pretty sick and had to go to the hospital ASAP. My housemate starting going on and on about all the help his friend needs and how the man is getting more decrepit by the day and that the friend's wife had already asked my housemate if he would be willing to just come out and live on the ranch and act as the paid foreman if things got really bad. This could all come down as soon as January, depending. Well, good for my housemate if he gets the job - he'll be able to hoard all kinds of junk on a ranch, but he will also be breaking the promise he made to me.

This really ticks me off, because I could have been gone from here by now. Instead, I have to deal with the uncertainty of what's going to happen maybe tomorrow, maybe next month - who knows? And I'll end up stuck out here alone for the winter - exactly what I was trying to avoid. Soooo... I've decided to start checking Craigslist again along with the other apartment finder sites. If I can find a decent new rental, I'm going to jump at the chance whether my housemate has gotten hired as foreman or not. I figure if they haven't hired him by then, they will be soon anyhow. Besides, my housemate is a big boy now and can take care of himself. Do you think I'm being selfish or unfair to make this decision the way I have?

If you want to continue to live your life the way your housemates wants you to stay where you are in the current situation.
If you want to live your life the way you want to then do what needs done to change things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 09:57 PM
 
7,356 posts, read 13,173,380 times
Reputation: 8906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler View Post

But now a new twist has turned up (this guy is beginning to feel like he's not worth all the trouble).
I'm sorry I had to laugh at this... Now?!

But you're obviously a very patient person. It's a virtue that's going to get you in trouble with all the wrong folks unfortunately. Just accept that your roomy is telling you rather indirectly that he could very well not live up to his promise. I mean, the reason why he's doing it indirectly is because if it doesn't work out, at least you're his clutch and you can "benefit" from his wonderful presence. That's just selfish and unfair on his part.

If things don't work out for him.... Well, it was going to be on him to deal with it either way, not you. Go do what's right for you, you'll feel a lot better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 10:15 PM
 
Location: CO
2,455 posts, read 2,609,697 times
Reputation: 5190
Get a new place. You owe this guy nothing and you've been more than nice about everything, especially when you gave him an inch and he took a mile with his hoarding. Time to think about yourself. Are you renting month-to-month?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2014, 11:55 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,697 posts, read 4,330,816 times
Reputation: 10277
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
Try to make sure he throws out all of his garbage first. Good luck with that.
Oh, Lord tell me about it. He's filled up the garage and a storage shed, plus he's got his camper and a bunch of carpentry equipment out there just sitting in the yard and drive. I can barely make it in and out of my driveway for all the stuff laying around. My landlady's son usually comes out to make any needed repairs and just see if things are running smoothly, but he's been out of town for a couple of months. He's due back in January, though, and I know it wouldn't bother him in the least to round up all that junk and throw it in the nearest unused irrigation ditch if my housemate doesn't pack it off pronto.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
If you want to continue to live your life the way your housemates wants you to stay where you are in the current situation.
If you want to live your life the way you want to then do what needs done to change things.
Yeah, when he told me all that stuff about his elderly friend and the possible offer of running the ranch, I realized that if push comes to shove, he'll blow off any promises to me. He must think I'm really a doormat when he told me all about him very likely heading off for a new place at the ranch maybe sooner, maybe later depending and expecting me to be cool with that. The more I think about it, the more P.O.ed I get.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
I'm sorry I had to laugh at this... Now?!

But you're obviously a very patient person. It's a virtue that's going to get you in trouble with all the wrong folks unfortunately. Just accept that your roomy is telling you rather indirectly that he could very well not live up to his promise. I mean, the reason why he's doing it indirectly is because if it doesn't work out, at least you're his clutch and you can "benefit" from his wonderful presence. That's just selfish and unfair on his part.

If things don't work out for him.... Well, it was going to be on him to deal with it either way, not you. Go do what's right for you, you'll feel a lot better.
You have hit the nail on the head! That is exactly my perception of the situation and I really appreciate the validation. I DO tend to cut people alot of slack and try to be understanding of their situation, but if I let it go on too long, I just start to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. A major reason I wanted his "wonderful" presence is that my nearest neighbor is a mile down the road and the Southern Ute Reservation starts just across the alfalfa field south of me. I like the Native people around here, but the unfortunate truth is that many of them have alcohol problems, and I've had a couple of unpleasant encounters with drunks who wander into my yard from across the way. Let's face it, the presence of a man with a gun is more of a deterrent than a lone woman with a corgi. My lease is month to month and I need to work on finding a place where I feel safe without having to resort to a man with a 12 guage. I've been working on taking better care of myself, and I'm really grateful for everyone's support. Thanks, guys!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-04-2014, 04:52 AM
 
Location: Dallas
5,599 posts, read 4,903,883 times
Reputation: 16440
Colorado, this is a blessing in disguise. It is giving you an opportunity to escape from the hoarding! Find a place you can afford on your own and do what you need to do. Your roommate is obviously looking out for himself; you need to do the same.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:29 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top