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Old 11-06-2014, 04:46 PM
 
Location: South Florida
1,007 posts, read 862,619 times
Reputation: 1562

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeo123 View Post
You tend to wind up with the same mobility direction as the people you hang out with. Be careful.

Hanging out with a group of people who are all trying to improve themselves, get the next promotion, going to networking events, etc, will probably help your career and overall direction in life.

Hanging out with people who are on a destructive path downard will likely result in them dragging you down with them, either directly (asking you for money, borrowing/not returning things, or maybe even stealing) or indirectly (causing you to lower your standards because you can say "at least I'm not that bad").

It's not to say that people in the second group all need to be avoided... but you need to be careful if you're hanging around them too much.
This is good advice. I have found it strange when I run into people I used to know and they have gone in this direction. In a way I felt like maybe we can be friends like we were before, but I always found that we have little in common, there is not a lot to talk about, and it feels awkward.
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Old 11-06-2014, 05:51 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
The bus pass was a terrific idea and it really mattered, I am sure.

Any help with food banks, etc. as another poster mentioned is an excellent idea, too.

You obviously know what you are doing with boundaries. I think it is very kind and admirable that you would feel concern for these folks -- and you can still be of assistance with information (when you feel the time is right) without getting really enmeshed in their lives.

It is just a matter of human kindness. Your friend's story is so upsetting - he has had very real problems to deal with and his health issues sound pretty dire.

You are a good person for weighing this out. We don't have to enable or even "reward" folks when we are able to reach out and assist and I feel confident you will figure out where the lines are with overstepping and getting enmeshed. I wish you the very best. It would have been easy to have just turned away and you didn't do that.
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