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Old 11-06-2014, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Inland FL
1,234 posts, read 711,286 times
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I just moved to a small town of about 10,000 people a month ago and I haven't made any friends that I "hang out" with yet. I mean, I talk to people at my workplace but most everyone there are high schools kids or older people. There isn't a whole lot to do here, it's mostly chain restaurants and a few grocery stores. I pretty much just work and go straight home.

My cat and my mother are only social life since moving up here. On top of that, my mother just got a temporary job that she goes to in another city for 4 days a week. So it's just me and my cat during that time. I just watch and take care of the house (do laundry, mow grass, vacuum, clean, pay bills etc). I do keep in contact with my friends from my hometown via Facebook and texting but I get bouts of loneliness from lack of human interaction. It'd be nice to have at least one or two people to hang out with but I just don't know where to meet people or how to meet them, if that makes any sense... Seems like some people make a boatload of friends they hang out with instantly no matter where they go but unfortunately I guess I'm not like that.

I'm 21 years old in case anyone was wondering.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:01 PM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,038,577 times
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Any groups or clubs you could join? You could volunteer somewhere.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,610 posts, read 18,806,124 times
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Does the town have a main street? A coffee shop? A book store? A library? A skate park? A swimming pool? There should be folks around those areas to meet.

I don't suppose you can teach your cat to walk on a leash? Walking your pet is always a good way to meet folks, but I dunno if your cat is gonna go along with the idea or not.

Churches and other religious groups are a common meeting place for folks. Maybe join a garden club, a knitting club, a hiking group? What groups are there in the area? Have you looked at any bulletin boards anywhere in the area? Frequently there will be some at the grocery stores or feed stores.

10,000 isn't that small of a town, there should be all sorts of things other than just restaurants and grocery stores. Although, I suppose, if that's truly the case, then there's probably a local chapter of Weight Watchers to join.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,017 posts, read 22,799,826 times
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You can also go to the neighborhood pub and sit at the bar and chat with people there. You don't have to drink alcohol. Just order a coke or a club soda with a sqeeze of lime. If anyone wants to buy you a drink, say you're driving, so no alcohol.

But, especially if they have any kind of pool tournaments or darts or other types of games, etc., you can get involved. But, just striking up conversations with the other people at the bar can be fun.

Otherwise, I agree that church, volunteering, that kind of thing is good for meeting people. Some classes are, too, but if they're just a lecture format, you may not have the chance to hang out. Something like a cooking class or some type of group activity that's casual is best, in my experience. Some kind of class people take for fun.

But, in a town that small, if your options are limited, really I think the pub might be your best bet. At coffee shops people tend to be tied to their laptops or whomever they are having coffee with. They're not the type of environment where people chat with each other.

Since you're 21, go see if there's a pub that's not creepy or weird. See if you can find the one the young people hang out in and play pool, etc. It's the type of environment, in my experience, where it's normal to talk to strangers.
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Old 11-14-2014, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Inland FL
1,234 posts, read 711,286 times
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Well, I haven't really gone out of my way to search for any groups nor have I ever been in a group but I guess I could try it. I've tried going to mall but the mall here is pretty dead. Maybe YMCA??

This town does have a nice downtown area but this area has a lot of retirees and snowbirds, so the interests in the area are more geared towards elderly people. There isn't a whole lot for younger people in my age group. I drove around downtown the other night for the heck of it and it was pretty dead down there as well. I only saw a couple of people walking around.

I feel uncomfortable asking some younger people at my work if they want to hang out, frankly because they haven't asked me. It's a little frustrating because everyone already has their own group of friends that they're involved with and they're not really worried about trying to make new friends. I am going to go back to college in January and am thinking of joining their baseball team so hopefully I'll have more luck.

As for putting my cat on the leash, that is out of the question. He'd tear me up hehe.
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Old 11-14-2014, 05:31 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,400 posts, read 5,230,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floridarebel View Post
Well, I haven't really gone out of my way to search for any groups nor have I ever been in a group but I guess I could try it. I've tried going to mall but the mall here is pretty dead. Maybe YMCA??

This town does have a nice downtown area but this area has a lot of retirees and snowbirds, so the interests in the area are more geared towards elderly people. There isn't a whole lot for younger people in my age group. I drove around downtown the other night for the heck of it and it was pretty dead down there as well. I only saw a couple of people walking around.

I feel uncomfortable asking some younger people at my work if they want to hang out, frankly because they haven't asked me. It's a little frustrating because everyone already has their own group of friends that they're involved with and they're not really worried about trying to make new friends. I am going to go back to college in January and am thinking of joining their baseball team so hopefully I'll have more luck.

As for putting my cat on the leash, that is out of the question. He'd tear me up hehe.
Let's see..... You post here for advice on how to meet people. And yet you don't seem to have made any real effort on your own and are waiting for work colleagues to make the first move? And you don't know what to do about any of this. Really?
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Old 11-14-2014, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,865 posts, read 6,296,708 times
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You will get to know more people over time co workers, neighbors, etc. Hanging out at a bar to watch a sporting event instead of doing it at home may be best, even if it is a bar/restaurant like BW3s or Applebee's.
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Old 11-14-2014, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Inland FL
1,234 posts, read 711,286 times
Reputation: 2167
Quote:
Originally Posted by kletter1mann View Post
Let's see..... You post here for advice on how to meet people. And yet you don't seem to have made any real effort on your own and are waiting for work colleagues to make the first move? And you don't know what to do about any of this. Really?
Usually when a person is new to the area, a current resident from the area will invite the new person to explore and meet other people, or at least this is how everyone else told me they made friends in a new area where they didn't know anyone. If not a single one of my co workers has asked me to do anything with them, then maybe they're not interested in being friends me. However, it's like I also said, everyone there is from the area and has their own group of friends they do stuff with anyway. I don't want to come off as desperate for asking people and their friends if they want to do anything outside of work and I feel awkward doing this. Also, I mentioned in my OP that everyone that I work with are high school kids or older people. I've told my co workers that I have no one to hang out with and I talk with them everyday. What else should I do?

This is my first time ever moving to a new area where I didn't know anyone. When I moved to Tampa not too long ago, I already knew some people there and in my hometown, I made friends instantly through school and family.

It's like I said, I will start going out and exploring this town.

Last edited by floridarebel; 11-14-2014 at 06:10 PM..
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:11 PM
 
5,379 posts, read 6,507,561 times
Reputation: 10400
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridarebel View Post
Usually when a person is new to the area, a current resident from the area will invite the new person to explore and meet other people, or at least this is how everyone else told me they made friends in a new area where they didn't know anyone. If not a single one of my co workers has asked me to do anything with them, then maybe they're not interested in being friends me. However, it's like I also said, everyone there is from the area and has their own group of friends they do stuff with anyway. I don't want to come off as desperate for asking people and their friends if they want to do anything outside of work and I feel awkward doing this. Also, I mentioned in my OP that everyone that I work with are high school kids or older people.

This is my first time ever moving to a new area where I didn't know anyone. When I moved to Tampa not too long ago, I already knew some people there and in my hometown, I made friends instantly through school and family.

It's like I said, I will start going out and exploring this town.
OP

This friendly but not friend making is something I call Florida friendly. Casually friendly but no personal connections.

Think finding a club with an activity that you enjoy is a good bet, or church groups.
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