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Yeah, I guess this is a common thing. I started my own thread on people who can't be bothered with saying thank you for their kids birthday present (which was not opened at the party). It makes you worry that they didn't receive the gift, too.
Count me in as a person who would have received your gift and probably wouldn't say "thank you". I have enough junk cluttering my house. The last thing I need is another useless trinket to find something to do with, or else throw away (which would seem like a big waste). If I were to thank you, you might consider it an invitation to send me more junk that I don't want. So in my mind, saying nothing at all is probably the best thing. That way, I don't have to fake appreciation for something I didn't want, and I don't have to worry about you sending me more stuff that I don't want.
Since all these people are on facebook, maybe what you could have done is send everyone a picture of the trinket and ask who wants one, along with the background info on where the stone came from. Then you would be sure whoever requested one would appreciate it.
I don't mean to come across as being rude. I'm just letting you know my honest unfiltered opinion (since you asked).
Yeah, I guess this is a common thing. I started my own thread on people who can't be bothered with saying thank you for their kids birthday present (which was not opened at the party). It makes you worry that they didn't receive the gift, too.
People are rude.
I think a kid's birthday present is different than OP's scenario. Unless the invitation specifically said "NO GIFTS" and you ignored it. It's basically expected that people will come to a party with a small gift for the birthday kid, and the birthday kid should send thank-you's for that.
I had thought about that. I keep feeling like if I did, I'd be fishing for a thank you which feels like rude behavior following rude behavior, if that makes any sense.
That happened to me once when a friend's mother died. I'd sent flowers to her house. About a week later, when talking to her husband, I'd casually asked if they got the flowers. I didn't want a thank you--obviously the woman's mother died and she had more on her mind. I was primarily checking up on the florist to make sure they were delivered, and thought the husband could confirm for me without bothering his wife. Well, he confirmed they came, then chastised his wife for not thanking me. Then she sent a note apologizing and thanking me. I felt really bad. That's NOT how I wanted that to go because I felt like I made her mom's death about me. Ever since then, I've been reluctant to play the "Did you get the gift" angle. I know this is a WAY different situation, but still...old wounds....
I totally get that. Sorry they are so rude. It was such a kind gesture and a beautiful way to memorialize your grandfather.
I think what you did was a lovely gesture. I am sorry that your kindness has left you feeling awkward. I will never understand how or why any person could receive a gift in the mail, and make zero acknowledgement of it whatsoever.
I know that in this day and age, seeing a written thank you is about as likely as seeing Bigfoot. But at least say something in a text or online, so I know you received the gift!!
Count me in as a person who would have received your gift and probably wouldn't say "thank you". I have enough junk cluttering my house. The last thing I need is another useless trinket to find something to do with, or else throw away (which would seem like a big waste). If I were to thank you, you might consider it an invitation to send me more junk that I don't want. So in my mind, saying nothing at all is probably the best thing. That way, I don't have to fake appreciation for something I didn't want, and I don't have to worry about you sending me more stuff that I don't want.
Since all these people are on facebook, maybe what you could have done is send everyone a picture of the trinket and ask who wants one, along with the background info on where the stone came from. Then you would be sure whoever requested one would appreciate it.
I don't mean to come across as being rude. I'm just letting you know my honest unfiltered opinion (since you asked).
I don't think you're being rude. I did ask the question, and while I very much appreciate folks who empathize, I was hoping to also hear from people who don't offer thanks to gifts, and an explanation as to why they don't.
I do think your justification is effective, as it is pretty much the last time I'm sending anything to the folks who offered no thanks. I mean, that is one conclusion a person has to come to: That they really didn't want it in the first place, so why be thankful to get it. Or maybe they think this is going to obligate them to send me something some day, and would rather just not start a 'thing'.
I did not excuse them, but I can see why they would not thank her. They did not want the stones, they refused to take the stones, and the stones were sent to them anyway. (Might even be seen as pushed on them, against their specific wishes!)
Other reasons...
-the OP might have had a great relationship with that relative, but perhaps the others did not. Thus, they would NOT want a memento of him.
-as mentioned above, the acknowledgement of jewelry/trinkets might be seen as encouragement to send more.
I think it is extremely rude not to say thank you when you receive a gift. Even if you hate the gift, you should still say thank you. I think people should say thank you more often. Someone who doesn't just has bad manners, in my opinion.
I would have thrown it away. I hate any kind of craft item and everyone knows that about me.
I wouldn't want to start a gift buying thing with the giver.
If I turned something down why would I want it in a different form.
I don't even like people that like crafts, ok maybe a slight exaggeration.
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