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I don't know, I don't see it. A bike is a pretty simple thing….I can't see guys getting together week after week and talking about their bikes for hours on end.
Oh yes we can. We can go on and on about carbon fiber vs aluminum vs steel vs titanium, what tires to use, what wheels to use, what shift kit to use, disc brakes vs calipers, different suspension designs, air springs vs coil springs, tubes vs tubeless, who is man enough to ride single speed when others have 30 gears, etc. And cyclists who follow pro cycling do have something to talk about sports-fandom wise.
But it's all on a very shallow level of interaction. I don't think you really form friendships until you do something like race on a team together and take a long road trip, or all compete in a 24-hour event as a team, or go on a long bikepacking expedition or something.
Oh yes we can. We can go on and on about carbon fiber vs aluminum vs steel vs titanium, what tires to use, what wheels to use, what shift kit to use, disc brakes vs calipers, different suspension designs, air springs vs coil springs, tubes vs tubeless, who is man enough to ride single speed when others have 30 gears, etc. And cyclists who follow pro cycling do have something to talk about sports-fandom wise.
But it's all on a very shallow level of interaction. I don't think you really form friendships until you do something like race on a team together and take a long road trip, or all compete in a 24-hour event as a team, or go on a long bikepacking expedition or something.
I still don't see it. When you compare it to something like, say....softball, where the variables are pretty close to infinite, I just don't believe that guys are going to get together a couple of times a week and talk about disc breaks vs. calipers for 3-4 hours at a time. Most of the stuff that you referenced is pretty static, these are not long interesting discussions that never end.
I still don't see it. When you compare it to something like, say....softball, where the variables are pretty close to infinite, I just don't believe that guys are going to get together a couple of times a week and talk about disc breaks vs. calipers for 3-4 hours at a time. Most of the stuff that you referenced is pretty static, these are not long interesting discussions that never end.
The equipment is just the means to accomplish the hobby itself, though. I don't know how softball players could discuss gloves and bats for 3-4 hours at a time either. There's the subject of riding itself, where to ride, what event, be it club ride or race to train for, how to train in bad weather, etc.
If you race, there's a lot more to talk about. Relatively few cyclists compete, admittedly, though. You could talk for days about training methods (that could go on for WEEKS on end,) exercise physiology, racing tactics, your favorite races, etc. Then if you race in different divisions/forms, there's a lot more to talk about. For instance, you might race cross country, downhill, or slalom, and that's just mountain biking. On top of that, one might also race cyclocross, road, and velodrome. Then there are some fringe forms of competition some people are really passionate about like randonneuring and observed trials.
One of my friends is, of all things, really into mountain unicycling. That's a very small, but very tight-knit community.
The equipment is just the means to accomplish the hobby itself, though. I don't know how softball players could discuss gloves and bats for 3-4 hours at a time either. There's the subject of riding itself, where to ride, what event, be it club ride or race to train for, how to train in bad weather, etc.
Well we wouldn't discuss gloves and balls for that long, that's my whole point. We would discuss tactical situations in the game, strategy, how good certain players are at different skills, etc….
The point is there are so many more variables to discuss with a complex sport as opposed to a simple sport.
My point is really that participants in cycling usually make small talk about cycling. At some point down the road, a friendship may or may not form but at the very least the OP is interacting with people. Without some form of interaction you will never form friendships. Most cyclists don't view cycling as a simple sport. They aren't spending 200 bucks on a bike. They are spending thousands and they probably have a few bikes.
Around here there is a running group that gets together weekly and they start and finish at a different bar each week. So, they socialize every week. I would think that the OP should look for socialization before looking for friendship.
My point is really that participants in cycling usually make small talk about cycling. At some point down the road, a friendship may or may not form but at the very least the OP is interacting with people. Without some form of interaction you will never form friendships. Most cyclists don't view cycling as a simple sport. They aren't spending 200 bucks on a bike. They are spending thousands and they probably have a few bikes.
Around here there is a running group that gets together weekly and they start and finish at a different bar each week. So, they socialize every week. I would think that the OP should look for socialization before looking for friendship.
And I still think it's harder to form friendships when the activity that brings people together is relatively simple. As in, relative compared to complex sports.
I'm saying this as someone that has formed many long term friendships from sports, but none from cycling or other simple activities/sports.
Well, the simplest sport of all, running, has made me the most friends by far. I am still friends with my former cross country and track teammates from high school and college, and that goes back 30 years! Almost all of my more recent friends are from marathoning.
Time to sound off again. As a 43 WM, I have Zero friends. I am married, kids, have coworkers that I get along with. But nobody outside of that.
I've tried church. In fact this leads to the "what do you think about this crap" part of my story. My wife and I recently joined a small group within a church, with two other couples. The first night was great, we had pizza and made small talk and joked, and generally enjoyed each other company. Second night was decent, cooked hot dogs with the kids at a bonfire and bonded a bit more. Last week was pure hell, the guy hosting and the group "founder" was a total prick to me. Would not make eye contact, but sure didn't mind conversing and making eye contact with my wife. Totally avoided me. His wife must have picked up on the rudeness as she tried to converse with me. At one point, she told the dude that I was saying something, and the guy says something along the lines of " he doesn't need to speak." Yep, total prick, IMO. This morning, Mr wannabe Alpha male makes it a point to shake my wife's hand and smile, but totally avoid me like the plague. May as well been a ghost.
Moral of the story, I'm tired of people. Seems like as we get more attached to our Iphones, Ipads, we've turned into self centered jerks that have no interest in relating with people.
Any ideas, suggestions? And yes, I'm guessing it's time to shelve the church group we're in?
The founder/host has a position, not a job. He doesn't talk to the minions, unless he perceives their importance.
On the friend thing: my friends, hex wife, and brothers all have people they're known since a kid. These are your friends for life. They or you do crime, move away, fail, rise up, go bankrupt, join the FFLegion, come back, and they're STILL your friends. You get indited, they're still your friends. Sixty Minutes BBQ's you, and they're STILL your friends!! Foundation wise, they know who you really are.
Later in life, if you've changed careers, moved a lot, don't have close relatives, it does become much more difficult because you simply don't have the mileage put in. You'll notice that with career change. What I did for fifteen years had nothing to do with my personal life.
Suggestion: Do you have hobbies? Start there. Or get one. Is your wife comfortable with you pursuing an activity without her? It's why men golf!! Service and volunteer organizations are good (not church) but learn to say no and be a little hard to get. They love that, as it tells them you have choices. Just sugg.
Time to sound off again. As a 43 WM, I have Zero friends. I am married, kids, have coworkers that I get along with. But nobody outside of that.
I've tried church. In fact this leads to the "what do you think about this crap" part of my story. My wife and I recently joined a small group within a church, with two other couples. The first night was great, we had pizza and made small talk and joked, and generally enjoyed each other company. Second night was decent, cooked hot dogs with the kids at a bonfire and bonded a bit more. Last week was pure hell, the guy hosting and the group "founder" was a total prick to me. Would not make eye contact, but sure didn't mind conversing and making eye contact with my wife. Totally avoided me. His wife must have picked up on the rudeness as she tried to converse with me. At one point, she told the dude that I was saying something, and the guy says something along the lines of " he doesn't need to speak." Yep, total prick, IMO. This morning, Mr wannabe Alpha male makes it a point to shake my wife's hand and smile, but totally avoid me like the plague. May as well been a ghost.
Moral of the story, I'm tired of people. Seems like as we get more attached to our Iphones, Ipads, we've turned into self centered jerks that have no interest in relating with people.
Any ideas, suggestions? And yes, I'm guessing it's time to shelve the church group we're in?
Only one thing to do in this situation -- bone the founder's wife. That will teach him.
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