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My worry is that this'll snowball. First it's 15, then she comes home for spring break and its another 15, then she comes home and its another 15. My parents are a little concerned too how laissez faire she is about this. If I were in her position I'd want someone to voice concerns to me
Right. And when you have a beer, do you worry that tomorrow it will be 3, and next month it will be 20?
How about shopping? Just because you bought a pair of pants you didn't need, are you worried you'll develop a habit and become a hoarder?
No. I didn't think so.
How about you stop lying to everyone and tell us what your REAL issue is? I'm not buying this phony concern over 15 lbs. How does one even notice 15 lbs? That's not even a dress size.
Let me tell you what it is like to be on the receiving of comments from family members out of so-called "concern".
When I was a little kid, I was thin. This bothered my mother to the point where she cried about it. At one time, before she was married, my mother was heavy. She lost the weight by just about starving herself and smoking like a chimney and drinking like a fish. Well...anyway...my being thin bothered her so much that she would pile food on my plate at dinnertime and force me to sit there until I ate everything. So, at 7 years old, I was the chubby kid. My mother hated this even more and would try to scare me into getting thin (you'll have a heart attack) or shame me everytime we went clothes shopping. She just didn't get that she contributed to the problem. Even when the doctor told her that when I hit puberty, my weight would even out, both she and my father never stopped with the nagging.
When I was 12 and about 10-15 lbs. overweight (maybe it was less because I'm truly big-boned) they got the doctor to prescribe diet pills for me! After a while, my father decided that the pills weren't working so, mercifully, I was taken off them.
Throughout HS, my weight remained constant and my mother kept telling me how terrible I looked. I went to college, and yes, put on about another 10 lbs but kept it constant because I liked to take, long, brisk walks for exercise. When I came home for break, my mother started in again with me. I got angry and told her that I never wanted to hear it again from her. Still...the digs came from both parents.
Did they really think that I didn't notice that I had extra pounds on me? Seriously?
When I had my daughter, I made it a point to prepare healthy meals. Things like mac & cheese were only served about 3 times a year. I explained to her---everything in moderation and treating yourself once in a while was okay.
As she got older, she got a bit of a pot belly. My husband joked to her about pinching an inch. I immediately got on his case about that and he never did it again. As I explained to him, she knows.
Someone told me that I must have done something right as she never had any body image issues---and still doesn't.
Long story---but---OP, leave your sister alone! She doesn't need you or your family members mentioning her weight. I'm sure that she is intelligent enough to know that if she put on much more weight, it would be bad for her overall health. It's up to her to decide what to do---not you or anyone else.
It is going to blow OP's mind when he brings this up to her and she replies with something along the lines of, "I know I put on weight, and I love it! And the guys on campus seem to be loving it too since they're not shunning me as a social reject for not fitting into society's standards of women needing to be a size 0-4!"
Stop being terrible and wait to start any worrying until she reaches a clinically unhealthy weight gain and/or you find out she's eating a bag of chips for every meal. She's just enjoying the new food offerings and I guarantee you she noticed her pants getting tighter or the scale going up. It's not your business whether she's fine with this or if she's planning on hitting the gym when the semester starts up.
I'm a junior in college( USC) and my younger sister Ally is a freshman who goes to school in Chicago. She's home for break and she's put on more than the freshman 15. She was actually in the city over the summer working on campus so she got a head start on everyone. I'm not going to knock her or insult her because of her weight, I'm concerned for health, don't want the 15 to snowball into 50.
She brought it up initially, telling us how good the food is and not even shying away from her extra weight. Why is she so ok with this? I'd be locking myself in a gym if I added over 15 pounds. Is it ok for me, as her older brother, to voice my concern?
Why is 15 lbs. such a big deal to you? Is she short? 15 lbs. is just one size larger to someone who's mid-height, around 5'6 - 5'8. Why are you so concerned about this? It's not a health concern. Your line that you're concerned for her health doesn't ring true. Do you have issues relating to women in general?
It is going to blow OP's mind when he brings this up to her and she replies with something along the lines of, "I know I put on weight, and I love it! And the guys on campus seem to be loving it too since they're not shunning me as a social reject for not fitting into society's standards of women needing to be a size 0-4!"
Stop being terrible and wait to start any worrying until she reaches a clinically unhealthy weight gain and/or you find out she's eating a bag of chips for every meal. She's just enjoying the new food offerings and I guarantee you she noticed her pants getting tighter or the scale going up. It's not your business whether she's fine with this or if she's planning on hitting the gym when the semester starts up.
This. OP, get off your sis' back. A little extra padding can be a good thing. You're not her keeper, anyway. Don't worry, she's not gonna have a premature heart attack or get diabetes from an extra 15 lbs. There are no health issues involved. If she decides she wants to lose weight, she can figure it out. Maybe she has a bf, and he likes her that way.
Personally, I think it is a bigger deal than most people are saying.
My younger brother gained the freshman 15, then the sophomore 15, then the junior 15... then by age 28 he weighed 300 pounds. He is pre-diabetic, has high blood pressure, lowered life expectancy, etc.
However, you can't tell women they are fat so there's not much you can do.
Personally, I think it is a bigger deal than most people are saying.
My younger brother gained the freshman 15, then the sophomore 15, then the junior 15... then by age 28 he weighed 300 pounds. He is pre-diabetic, has high blood pressure, lowered life expectancy, etc.
And there are probably some people who started to drink alcohol and then became alcoholics. But most don't.
I am of the opinion that making a BIG DEAL about it will only make things worse. I base this on my own experiences at that age, where even a slight bit of extra weight was treated by everyone like you were a sea cow. Then what is actually a minor amount of weight becomes the Worst Thing in the World and Unforgivable. You are "bad." That isn't a healthy way to think, and often can lead to more weight gain, because what's the use, it's hopeless, if you're not a size 0-4, you are a Sea Cow. There is no middle ground, it's either slim and "good" or hideously fat and Sea Cow. Young women need to learn that there is a middle ground, and if they always have a little extra weight (maybe are a size or two larger than they "could" or "should" be) that is far healthier than giving up, feeling terrible and worthless and truly throwing in the towel and ballooning up to a severely unhealthy size.
This reminds me of the time I got a big zit on my face and my brother said, "Oh my gosh - did you know you have a giant zit on your face????"
For once I was quick on my feet. I said, "WHAT? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I HAD NO IDEA! WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOO? HOW CAN I EVEN STEP OUTSIDE THE HOUSE? I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! WHY DID YOU TELL ME THIS? YOU TOOK AWAY ALL MY JOY AND LEFT ME AN EMPTY SHELL! I NEVER WOULD HAVE NOTICED THIS IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND NOW MY LIFE IS RUINED!"
You want to stir the pot on a holiday;OP? Its obvious from your post she is already aware of it; doesn't need you reminding her of it. If she loss weight next time you see her; tell her she looks like great; encourage at right time.
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