Guests helping the host in the kitchen (neighbors, father, husband)
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I don't want help in my kitchen. My kitchen, my stuff . . . let's just say I'm territorial and leave it at that. :-) If they want to bring their dishes in from the table, that's nice. I will stack them on the counter, and then shoo everyone out and join them for the rest of the evening. There is nothing more annoying that someone who feels that they are obligated to somehow "pay" for their dinner by being a kitchen slave. I invited you over to share a meal and for conversation. I can't relax if everyone is wandering around the kitchen saying, "Here, let me do this," or "where shall I put that?" etc., etc. and I'm trying to tactfully rescue my Waterford or my sterling from the dishwasher . . . I'd MUCH rather be sitting down with after-dinner drinks by the fire, possibly playing a game, rather than putting dishes away. Where is it written, please, that dishes MUST be done directly after dinner?
Offer if you must. When I politely turn you down, don't make a federal case of it, just smile and get on with the evening. I had one guest that INSISTED that she do the dishes, because "her mother raised her right!" I had to firmly guide her from the kitchen, assuring her that I would never tell her mother.
This is why I don't invite my mother-in-law to my parties anymore. If I do, I have a choice - either spend my whole party cleaning or try (and probably fail) to enjoy the party while she cleans.
Me, neither. In fact, that's my little litmus for men, now. If they don't get off their arses and at least attempt to help, without being asked, away with them. And I don't mean just when I cook. I mean when anyone cooks. If they come from one of those families where Thanksgiving is pretty much Women's Enslavement Day, such that the women are on their feet all day and the men just show up and eat, watch a game, and belch, without so much as lifting a finger to help, I am outta there--especially if the guy whines, hems, haws, and generally puts on a big childish show about being miserable when I hand him a dish towel.
Agree! That and how they treat the waitstaff.
I'd known my (future) husband for several weeks before my parents had a chance to meet him. They invited him to their house for dinner. When we were done eating he got up, (still carrying on the conversation) and took his dishes to the sink. My mother looked at me, pointed over her shoulder and mouthed, "That one."
Me, neither. In fact, that's my little litmus for men, now. If they don't get off their arses and at least attempt to help, without being asked, away with them. And I don't mean just when I cook. I mean when anyone cooks. If they come from one of those families where Thanksgiving is pretty much Women's Enslavement Day, such that the women are on their feet all day and the men just show up and eat, watch a game, and belch, without so much as lifting a finger to help, I am outta there--especially if the guy whines, hems, haws, and generally puts on a big childish show about being miserable when I hand him a dish towel.
Is there some background to this? Do the men never ever do anything around the house? No yard work, taking care of the vehicle etc.
I'm a female and I always wonder about these statements - "my husband/boyfriend never does anything around the house?"
No outside job, just a king that is waited on hand and foot? I know that there are some like that out there.
But seriously? I gladly do all the cooking and cleaning. My car is washed and cleaned several times a WEEK. Yard is kept immaculate. He does all the heavy shopping - large quantities of pet food, bulk items etc.
And we are just basically roommates! It might seem that he doesn't do a lot because what he does is done out of sight and not directly in the home.
The hours spent on yard work alone do not even total up to the time I spend cooking and cleaning.
Just my take on the battle of the sexes.
And yes, I could do all that myself, just choose not to do so.
Well, I think you'd have to see my laundry room before passing that judgment!
I can't stand to see dirty anything. My machine is used daily.
See - I said machine - not me. Laundry is really an easy task. We grew up with a wringer washer and wash tubs for rinsing. Laundry hung out to dry, sprinkled and let to sit for ironing later.
Laundry today is a breeeeezzzzeee! I laugh at the laundry whiners!
And I was raised to always strip a bed and to ask the hosts if they would like me to remake it.
I think that supports the best answer of asking first. Some people would like it, others wouldn't. Me, I've only got one set of sheets for the guest room, and a tiny laundry room that is also the major walk-through into our house from the garage. I'd rather the bed just be tidied up and I'll get to it in a few days.
When I'm staying at someone's house, I typically ask if I can bring them the bedding. Some say yes, others ask me to leave it.
I think that goes for dishes too. Ultimately, IMO, the kindest thing to do is offer help, then respect the host's answer either way. Over-ruling them or making the decision for them often isn't doing anyone favors.
I can't stand to see dirty anything. My machine is used daily.
See - I said machine - not me. Laundry is really an easy task. We grew up with a wringer washer and wash tubs for rinsing. Laundry hung out to dry, sprinkled and let to sit for ironing later.
Laundry today is a breeeeezzzzeee! I laugh at the laundry whiners!
Not a laundry whiner at all. I work full-time and choose to dry my clothes on a line, especially sheets. I'd rather leave the sheets on the bed until the weekend comes and I can clean them the way I want. A guest forcing me to deal with them on their terms isn't "help".
Not a laundry whiner at all. I work full-time and choose to dry my clothes on a line, especially sheets. I'd rather leave the sheets on the bed until the weekend comes and I can clean them the way I want. A guest forcing me to deal with them on their terms isn't "help".
I wasn't saying you were a laundry whiner - sorry.
And I hate staying at someone's house. The times we have had to go see family its get a hotel room and relax.
Take them out to eat or something -
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