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You can't tell what is generally dishwasher safe? Wow. And normally, you can tell where the clean dishes go if you look. Most people have extra dishes so you can tell where the plates, bowls, glasses go simply by looking to see where others are. It doesn't take a scientist to tell where the silverwear goes....
I'd prefer that they just leave the bed alone on the day they're leaving. I've had a few make the bed, which is okay if they were here for just one night or so. But if they were here longer, I'd likely want to wash the sheets. I've never had anyone strip the bed and I would find that rude.
If I'm staying overnight at someone's house for more than one night I always ask if they'd like me to make the bed. I'm making it their call. Last time was at a friend's house and she thanked me for asking (and no, she didn't want it made).
I try to remember to tell my guests not to bother with the sheets (yes, bring the dirty towels down). The reason why is that they may very well be the next people to use that room, and if they are, there's no point in changing the sheets, which I just changed before they came. If someone else is going to use that room (other than the last house guests), I'll change the sheets - or I'll change the sheets in a few days, whatever. But I'd really prefer they just leave that to me to do.
My BIL and SIL used to be basically the only people who would use our guest room on a regular basis and they came pretty often (when we were dealing with sick in laws). EVERY TIME THEY CAME, they'd strip the bed down - it could be the very next weekend that they were here. I mean, I was washing those sheets all the time, after they'd only slept on them one time. I honestly didn't think anyone needed sheets THAT clean! I know they were trying to be helpful and that's fine, but my preference is that guests ask, "Would you like for me to bring the sheets down/ strip the bed?" That way it's on my time line, since I'll be the one washing them and remaking the bed. Maybe I don't want to do that the minute after a house full of company leaves.
Just my personal preference. When I am a guest, I ask. People have different ways of doing things but at least I offered.
Agree completely! IMO the best guests are the ones who offer then respect the answer I give them. Maybe one time I would like the bed stripped, I'll accept the offer and appreciate the help. Next time I want the bed left alone and appreciate the guests who check first.
You can't tell what is generally dishwasher safe? Wow. And normally, you can tell where the clean dishes go if you look. Most people have extra dishes so you can tell where the plates, bowls, glasses go simply by looking to see where others are. It doesn't take a scientist to tell where the silverwear goes....
Not everyone wants people rummaging through their kitchen cupboards and drawers. And for most people, choosing what goes in the dishwasher has nothing to do with whether or not it's dishwasher safe. I know this because I always ask the host what goes in before taking it upon myself to decide for them.
Not everyone wants people rummaging through their kitchen cupboards and drawers. And for most people, choosing what goes in the dishwasher has nothing to do with whether or not it's dishwasher safe. I know this because I always ask the host what goes in before taking it upon myself to decide for them.
Agreed. I have no trouble putting my 85-year-old Lenox china in the dishwasher because I know not to let the gold rims touch each other - I don't assume everyone knows that. And others would only want to wash it by hand. That's a definite "ask first."
I prefer people do not help me in my kitchen as I've got it down to such a science it's quicker for me to do it than it is to give instructions. However, I do offer or just pitch in when I'm a guest-it depends on my relationship with the host/hostess.
I think this is true of most. When I'm a guest, I usually actively assist - without being asked - in clearing and wiping down the tables. As I take dishes to the kitchen, I ask the host/ess what I should do with them. Invariably they say to just put them on the counter or in the sink.
The only exception was family get togethers at my mom's or MIL's. Since we were so familiar with their kitchens and routines, we did it all - including loading the dw and covering/refrigerating leftovers, while the chief cooks relaxed.
I'm with you on this Maciesmom. Some of these homes don't sound very welcoming to me. If I'm to restrict myself to certain rooms and stay out of the kitchen, I'd rather be in a restaurant. At least that way I'd know the hostess isn't slaving away without help on my behalf.
Here's the deal, though: If I have more than 6 or 8 people for dinner, I usually do hire help for the evening -- either my 20-something daughter or a 20-something neighbor. Someone who can help me keep things moving, and who can clear used glasses and get the clean-up organized, as well as clear and serve dessert and coffee. Why not? I enjoy the dinner, my guests enjoy the dinner and aren't confused by whether or not they should be "helping", and the daughter or the neighbor are paid well to keep things moving. :-) My daughter spent a summer during college working in an upscale coffee shop and bar, and loves to make drinks for guests -- and does a great job, she sets up her "bar" very precisely. Other friends of ours have hired her to manage their private parties, too -- she makes a nice little extra income during the holidays. :-)
Here's the deal, though: If I have more than 6 or 8 people for dinner, I usually do hire help for the evening -- either my 20-something daughter or a 20-something neighbor. Someone who can help me keep things moving, and who can clear used glasses and get the clean-up organized, as well as clear and serve dessert and coffee. Why not? I enjoy the dinner, my guests enjoy the dinner and aren't confused by whether or not they should be "helping", and the daughter or the neighbor are paid well to keep things moving. :-) My daughter spent a summer during college working in an upscale coffee shop and bar, and loves to make drinks for guests -- and does a great job, she sets up her "bar" very precisely. Other friends of ours have hired her to manage their private parties, too -- she makes a nice little extra income during the holidays. :-)
That is a completely different scenario than what most of us are discussing. If you have hired waitstaff, I can't imagine anybody thinking their help might be needed. We've already tried to differentiate between a more formal gathering and a casual one.
Here's the deal, though: If I have more than 6 or 8 people for dinner, I usually do hire help for the evening -- either my 20-something daughter or a 20-something neighbor. Someone who can help me keep things moving, and who can clear used glasses and get the clean-up organized, as well as clear and serve dessert and coffee. Why not? I enjoy the dinner, my guests enjoy the dinner and aren't confused by whether or not they should be "helping", and the daughter or the neighbor are paid well to keep things moving. :-) My daughter spent a summer during college working in an upscale coffee shop and bar, and loves to make drinks for guests -- and does a great job, she sets up her "bar" very precisely. Other friends of ours have hired her to manage their private parties, too -- she makes a nice little extra income during the holidays. :-)
Did you read all the posts? My comments were clearly geared toward casual entertaining of close friends. Otherwise no one should be cleaning while guests are still there....either have help or clean afterward. If you are scrubbing pots and loading the dishwasher while your guests sit chatting and sipping wine at your kitchen counter (the premise of the OP), it's very casual indeed. Completely different than having a dinner party.
I'm still wondering how on earth a houseguest stripping the bed before they leave would be considered rude.
You can't tell what is generally dishwasher safe? Wow. And normally, you can tell where the clean dishes go if you look. Most people have extra dishes so you can tell where the plates, bowls, glasses go simply by looking to see where others are. It doesn't take a scientist to tell where the silverwear goes....
*shaking of head* My, my, my -- said with the true conviction of someone with one set of dishes, one set of glasses and one set of stainless eating utensils.
My Waterford is in in my dining room china cabinet. And no, I don't want people rummaging around the china cabinet, I have it arranged the way I like, and there's always a bull in the china shoppe. (One guest dropped a Waterford stem a few years back and offered to replace it. I said it wasn't necessary, but she got the pattern and was intent. She never did replace it -- a couple of years later she was at dinner again, and when she saw the place setting, she laughed, pointed to the Waterford, and said, "Omigod, I thought I was going to replace that, but do you know how much it is?!" "About $200 a stem - it's only sold by special order these days." "YES!! Ridiculous!" I inquired if she would prefer to have her wine in a jelly jar and she admitted that it was pretty, but "Why use it?!" "Because I enjoy using beautiful things.") The Orrefors I inherited from my grandmother is displayed in one of the kitchen cabinets. The sterling pierces go back into their tarnish-resistent rolls at the end of the evening and are replaced back in the safe, after they have been well-dried. The china could be in the dining room, the kitchen, or in a storage closet in the butler's pantry -- there's five different patterns, acquired from our wedding, my grandparents and his grandparents, how in the heck is someone supposed to be able to figure out where I store what pattern? The antique china does not go into the washer, but two patterns can. One of the silver patterns can go in the dishwasher, but the other one needs special cleaning and drying to avoid tarnishing in the little nooks and crannies of the carving. (But never the knives!)
Do I want to spend time explaining this to guests? Oh, hell no.
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