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So a few years ago, my mom had to move in with us because she couldn't handle living on her own anymore.
We thought this might work out, because we "thought" (boy how wrong we were), that she will be happy here spending time with the grandkids etc. Not happening. Has not read them one story yet....
As it turns out, she is the worst room mate ever! She is not disabled physically in any way, yet it is impossible for her to put one dish in the dishwasher....she is leaving things out on the counter non stop, or piles my sink, which I have a HUGE pet peeve about. She wait until I am DONE doing laundry to bring me her's! She won't shower because of all sorts of excuses, she won't eat if we're not home...the latest excuse was that there was "warmth coming from under the fridge"! WTH were you doing UNDER the freakin fridge!??? She won't eat unless we serve her. I am NOT her freakin maid.
The worst part tho is that there is NOT ONE happy thought in her head. I strongly believe she is jinxing our family. Her NON STOP bag thoughts are literally hurting us. She is peeking on corners all the time, she is listening into our conversations, and because she doesn't even hear the whole thing, she makes up some horror story in her head...she's like a BLACK cloud that won't go away!
We cannot afford to put her in a home here; she doesn't make enough to pay for it and we're broke; we're on one income, and cannot afford that kind of an expense!
Is there some witch stuff we can spray aroundnere to get rid of her non stop horro thoughts? like my little guy had a splinter, and the look on her face (after she asked what was wrong with his knee!!!!) was if his liver was hanging out of his body! I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
Is she losing her marbles? Or is she just being stubborn?
If shes losing her marbles, idk what you could do...
However, perhaps look into some kind of adult elderly day care type center where maybe u could drop her off like 3 days a week for the day just to get her out of the house and taken care of while you live your life. Maybe it'll giver her something to look forward to?
When my grandmom was acting the same way my mom found this elderly day center where she would drop her off at in the morning and pick her up that evening. The great thing was it got her out of the house....and my grandma actually enjoyed it!
Do you have a garage, walk-out basement that you can turn into a MIL apartment and then limit her access to the house and family? If she is cognizant and capable of keeping her word, it might be time for a family contract.
I'm curious, what caused you to believe that she couldn't live alone? Was her home falling apart around her or was she displaying the type of behavior that is driving you nuts now? More details on her mental state aside from the sloppiness and negativism would be helpful.
I'm sorry that you are going through this.
Also there might be a home that will take her social security plus maybe $500 per month as payment. Check around, it might be time.
She doesn't cook
She doesn't drive
She doesn't smile
She doesn't have insurance of any sort; so I can't take her to the dr to have her tested
And she is just miserable to be around!
She doesn't have social security because she spent a lot if time abroad and didn't have enough employment here to get those benefits.
No, we're in Florida and the garage is not livable space & is very small! My boys have to share a room because of her & it's starting to be a problem because they are not close in age.
What caused us to take her in:
My dad died and she doesn't cook; she would not eat so she doesn't have to use the bathroom!!!! Dumbest effin thing! She is VERY stubborn.
She lived too far for us to visit!
I feel hopeless! But I need her elsewhere! My glass has spilled!
In my estimation the mess your mother has made of her life is not yours to clean up, unfortunately it will fall to the taxpayers but that's what those services are for.
Has she always refused to shower, cook, do laundry, etc., or is any of it new behavior? If any of this behavior is new, it may indicate the onset of dementia.
If she's always been that way, it might be time for some tough love. You need to sit her down and tell her that you're no longer going to do her laundry or cook for her (unless you're cooking for everyone) and ask her directly to put her dishes in the dishwasher, etc. I guarantee that she won't go without eating for long.
My heart goes out to you--this is a tough situation.
Cannot afford therapists...and they can't get her out of my house either.
She doesn't get anything out of my dad's stuff for the same reason; he too worked abroad too much and screwed up his benefits here. My dad didn't need any benefits, and wouldn't have asked for any either; he was that kind of guy...
It is a nightmare; it is unbelievably annoying to be "watched over" non stop; I cannot have one moment with my kids because we're starred at from some corner! But her non stop bad thoughts are like a bad omen! I am to the point where I feel like I need a priest to come through the house and say prayers or voodoo or whatever they do in this circumstance! She makes up stuff JUST so he has negative thoughts; "ohh, if I open the microwave door, the cup will break", or "I can't tell if the dishwasher is clean or dirty, so I'll just leave my stuff on the counter" I swear to you, if we go out for the day anywhere, because that is the ONLY way we can be ourselves these days, she won't eat the entire day!!!!! I cannot have this kind of stress anymore...there is food in the fridge, there is food in the pantry, she can make a freakin sandwich, i have fruits....she won't even clean up her damn effin ears!!!!! We gave her ear drops and she thought we were trying to kill her! WTF!!!!! I took her to the dr for a cold, and her blood pressure spiked because she thought we were leaving her there! WHY would she freaking think these things???? we did nothing but open up our home to her!!!!! She is sitting in her room, won't read, won't write, won't speak to the kids....NOTHING....just stare at the walls making up the worst imaginable scenarios for our family; it's like she is constantly cursing us!!!! When I cough, she looks at me with such a frightened look as if my lungs are sticking out of my nose! Like in a Hitchcock movie!
She's 78...mind you, my grandma, her mom, was out and about up until she was 83....she was the most self sufficient individual, and a contagious optimist! I don't understand how my mom turned out like this at all. She has zero sense of humor. ZERO.
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) was if his liver was hanging out of his body! I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
