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I confess, when I'm a guest in someone else's house, I absolutely abhor doing dishes or otherwise helping in someone else's kitchen. Not that anyone ever asks me to. It's just one of those things people in my circle of friends/family offers to help with.
The reason I hate it is because no one ever has the same tools I have, like my scratchy sponge. I never know where I'm supposed to put clean stuff. I don't know how they pack their dishwasher. I'm never sure what things can go in the dishwasher and what they wash by hand. If it's prepping in the kitchen, their knives always suck.
On the flipside, when I host a dinner, I prefer guests don't help me beyond maybe bringing dishes in from the table. Same reason. They don't do things the way I do them. And if I'm cooking, I'd rather they just visit with me at the bar than try to help.
What about you? Do you typically help friends in the kitchen? And when you do, is it something you enjoy being part of, or do you prefer just sitting at the counter with a glass of wine and keeping the host company?
(And BTW, this isn't something that keeps me up at night. I'm just making conversation here! )
I'd rather not have anyone helping me in the kitchen unless it's my husband (or when she was younger and still lived at home, our daughter).
One Thanksgiving when I hosted the family, our house had a small galley style kitchen. At one point, my mother and SIL were hanging around in the kitchen just having a discussion. Then my SIL started with the questions, "What are you making?" "What ingredients are you using?" "You know, there is a better way to cook that". OMG! I told her that she was here to relax and she should go to the living room and not worry about dinner.
When I visit other people, the most I'll do is clear the table and bring things into the kitchen for them. Or if they ask to me to get something from another room, I'll gladly do that. Like you, I don't know where they want the leftovers put or how they want them wrapped up. And, yes, maybe not all of their dishes are dishwasher safe.
I always offer to help in the kitchen when I am at a friend's home as do my friends in mine. The thought being the sooner the kitchen is done, the sooner we can ALL sit down with that glass of wine together. I don't worry about what kind of sponge they have (or don't) or how they load the dishwasher (and I'm a pretty picky dishwasher loader myself). If I don't know where something goes, I simply ask or set the cleaned dish aside so it can be put away later. I would find it very awkward to sit and sip wine while watching someone else work.
ETA I would never insist on helping if the host declined my offer, but I would feel awkward if she continued cleaning up while I sat there doing nothing. In that case I'd think the thing to do would be to leave the kitchen for later, after guests have gone.
Last edited by maciesmom; 12-02-2014 at 07:45 PM..
I prefer that they just sit in the kitchen with me while I cook, but usually they want to do something, so I set them to work chopping something, arranging some cheese or something on a plate, or setting the table, putting ice in glasses, etc.
When dinner is done, I don't mind them clearing the table or loading the dishwasher but I don't get bent out of shape if they don't. What I DON'T want is to be tripping over each other in the kitchen.
I guess I'm pretty laid back about it either way. I will say this though - if they don't offer to help clean up, I will just casually ask them to help me clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen. Then I just put everything over by the sink, because one thing I WON'T do is slave away washing up in the kitchen while everyone else is sitting around drinking wine and socializing without me!
Yes. I'm not the type to sit and drink a glass of wine while someone who has been kind enough to feed me cleans up the dirty dishes.
Agree, it's called being considerate. Someone has invited you into their home, cooked for you, set the table, etc. At the very least offer to help or just get up do it.
I just did this at a relative's house for Thanksgiving, everyone lent a hand and the leftovers were quickly put away and the dishes cleared.
As the saying goes "many hands make light work".
And you will find most people are thankful for the help.
We have a very small kitchen so no helping when I'm cooking because there is no room.
When we go to someone's home we clear the table if the host allows it, otherwise we do nothing.
I confess, when I'm a guest in someone else's house, I absolutely abhor doing dishes or otherwise helping in someone else's kitchen. Not that anyone ever asks me to. It's just one of those things people in my circle of friends/family offers to help with.
The reason I hate it is because no one ever has the same tools I have, like my scratchy sponge. I never know where I'm supposed to put clean stuff. I don't know how they pack their dishwasher. I'm never sure what things can go in the dishwasher and what they wash by hand. If it's prepping in the kitchen, their knives always suck.
On the flipside, when I host a dinner, I prefer guests don't help me beyond maybe bringing dishes in from the table. Same reason. They don't do things the way I do them. And if I'm cooking, I'd rather they just visit with me at the bar than try to help.
What about you? Do you typically help friends in the kitchen? And when you do, is it something you enjoy being part of, or do you prefer just sitting at the counter with a glass of wine and keeping the host company?
(And BTW, this isn't something that keeps me up at night. I'm just making conversation here! )
I honestly can't imagine not offering to help with the cleanup. Sometimes the hosts would prefer to do the dishes after the guests leave, which is fine, but the offer of help is still extended.
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