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Which is a follow-up to "I'm Retired Now"'s story of the family gathering last year. "Quick Thinker" you're just too darn slow and easy - work on that database so you don't keep tripping all over yourself.
I do not know you or anything about the controversy that seems to swirl around you so I will give my real thoughts on the matter. The walking away is something I have done before. I had so little invested in the other person and thought it excruciating to endure a conversation with them. I thought I was doing us both a favor as if I was tasked to sit there and "take it" I felt the eye rolls as well as the responses I would have given would've damaged the relationship even further than just walking away. I didn't care what the individual thought of me and didn't feel like following the social norms or following some sort of unwritten code of social conduct as I usually don't (INTJ)
My advice is this, just forget it. If you decide to confront someone on this depending on if it's just dislike or pure vitriol that he's harboring towards you, they may decide to get more aggressive than you anticipate. If they just don't like you, then trying to confront isn't going to fix one thing.
You just have to find it in yourself to be O.k. that not everyone likes each other. And just because you are related through marriage, that doesn't mean he owes you manners. He is doing what makes him happy, conventions be damned. That is his right. He doesn't want to hang around you for whatever reason. You need to accept this the same way you accept that you're not a milionaire or you're not a scratch golfer. You accept it because you have no choice in the mater. If you try to "fix" it, it may get worse.
I am still shaking and ashamed by how the very popular and highly respected family member managed to get the best of me and walk out of our conversation in mid sentence without any repercussions. I have not slept at all since then and feel two inches tall and so ashamed.
Talk about an imagination...Some serious over reacting for a grown man, don't you think? You need medical care.
OH for crying out loud! You guys have the strangest vocation trying to link me with some eccentric banned posters. For the second time, those posters have nothing to do with me!
I am still shaking and ashamed by how the very popular and highly respected family member managed to get the best of me and walk out of our conversation in mid sentence without any repercussions. I have not slept at all since then and feel two inches tall and so ashamed.
PLEASE, without attacking me and saying it is my fault, what can I do to get my reputation and pride back?
Make an appt. with therapist and keep it.
Either you are making this all up and it would be helpful to figure out new ways to connect with others. Or you have blown a simple situation way out of proportion and would benefit from some professional guidance in figuring out how to handle social situations.
OH for crying out loud! You guys have the strangest vocation trying to link me with some eccentric banned posters. For the second time, those posters have nothing to do with me!
I am still shaking and ashamed by how the very popular and highly respected family member managed to get the best of me and walk out of our conversation in mid sentence without any repercussions. I have not slept at all since then and feel two inches tall and so ashamed.
PLEASE, without attacking me and saying it is my fault, what can I do to get my reputation and pride back?
There is a prominent adult website that would be more than willing to entertain your humiliation fantasy, DM me for the link.
So... it's me and the unsociable relative who walked out on me mid sentence was in the right. So everyone's advice is that because it does not happen to them, then it should not happen to me. That makes me feel a lot better! OMG!
I'm sorry that you feel so upset. Sometimes it takes a stranger on a forum to help point out some painful things.
IF you have repeated issues in social situations and you are unhappy about it...try to fix it. You are the only common denominator in all of these situations, and the only thing you have the power to change is yourself.
I suggest counseling. Lots of people go to counseling and it does help many.
You have a few choices:
1. Work on your social issues.
2. avoid the holiday gatherings.
3. Accept things as they are.
If it really was a one off situation, just blow it off. Every person has had a lonely time during a gathering before. Watch TV, take a walk,take a nap, play a game, surf the web, post on CD...whatever.
Last edited by Meyerland; 01-03-2015 at 08:33 PM..
So at Christmas the women hung out together in the kitchen and the kids went down stairs to play video games and watch TV. That left me and an unsocial relative sitting like bumps on the log in the living room. I felt so uncomfortable. I tried some small talk with him but go no where. In fact right in the middle of the conversation he got up and walked into walked outside without a word of explanation.
It has been going through my head over and over. What should I have done? Call him to task? Get up and leave the house? Follow him outside?
(I went into the kitchen to talk to the woman but they gave me the chill and basically told me the kitchen was for girl talk. Then I went downstairs to where the kids were hanging out and they basically gave me the cold shoulder too, "what is that old man doing here?"
Your family consists of a bunch of kids, a bunch of women, and two men?
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