I am no longer a friend simply because my Christmas gift was late? Really? (holidays, messages)
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Why is that? Are children such spoiled brats these days that they need instant gratification? For heaven's sake she isn't even their relative.
Is this a serious question? Do we no longer place any value on keeping our word?
Teaching children the value of keeping your word and dependability are important character traits, or at least they used to be. Don't promise or imply you will do something and then not deliver. It doesn't matter if the adult is a relative or not.
Wikihow makes it real simple in 5 steps (with pictures). How To Keep a Promise.
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4. Don't put off doing something for your friend if he/she needs it by a certain date.
It was the OP who suggested that dad is mad that the gift is late and that the kid may be disappointed. Obviously the OP knows that dad was expecting it by a certain date, and the OP admits that it's late; she didn't mail it until the 26th. Also, this may not be dad's issue but it is possible he told the kid about this special thing and then it didn't happen when he expected it. So dad ends up looking like a jerk and the kid distrusts dad.
I don't know what dad's issue is any more than you do. It's just a possibility.
Is this a serious question? Do we no longer place any value on keeping our word?
Teaching children the value of keeping your word and dependability are important character traits, or at least they used to be. Don't promise or imply you will do something and then not deliver. It doesn't matter if the adult is a relative or not.
Wikihow makes it real simple in 5 steps (with pictures). How To Keep a Promise.
It was the OP who suggested that dad is mad that the gift is late and that the kid may be disappointed. Obviously the OP knows that dad was expecting it by a certain date, and the OP admits that it's late; she didn't mail it until the 26th. Also, this may not be dad's issue but it is possible he told the kid about this special thing and then it didn't happen when he expected it. So dad ends up looking like a jerk and the kid distrusts dad.
I don't know what dad's issue is any more than you do. It's just a possibility.
I ordered the gift in the beginning of November, and factory overseas advertised (shipping time from us to U.s. 30 working days) Am I to blame for false advertisement?
I never made personal promise to HIS KIDS. if he made that promise, it is ON HIM, not me.
This is exactly what I said, "I will send your kid something around Christmas time." Is this a promise to his kid personally?
well, I personally don't know if this guy friend of mine is this petty, this is exactly why I started the thread and asked a genuine question. "What are the OTHER REASONS why I have been ignored."
At this point, my gift is on its way. If he CHOSE to ignore me, it is HIS choice, not mine. I certainly have done my best.
This is just another Damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I have already made an effort to explain the whole situation, he obviously is not ready to listen. I have been told by idiots in this thread that I am desperate, needy, and should leave the man alone. So what should I do? Call again? No thank you.
I have done my best. Time to move on for good. I can't please everybody and I certainly cannot read nobody's mind.
If he is mad at me for late Christmas gift, then it is his choice. If he is mad at me for other reasons, I certainly am not going to find out. Either way, choice is mine.
I choose to move on at this point.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 01-03-2015 at 01:12 PM..
this is exactly why I started the thread and asked a genuine question. "What are the OTHER REASONS why I have been ignored."
No one can answer that, because we don't know the guy. There could be hundreds of other reasons, but it's hard to say what it could be without knowing more. All we know about is the Christmas situation, so that is what we can speculate on.
Do you have any mutual friends that you can ask? They would know your friendship better then a bunch of strangers on the internet.
You said he might be dating. Does he have a girlfriend? Maybe they've just been spending the last week together and he doesn't want to be texting calling other girls while she's around.
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I have done my best. Time to move on for good.
Probably the best thing you can do. It doesn't sound like it was that important of a friendship if you'll give up on it and "move on for good" after only a week without talking. Why worry over someone who didn't even matter much to begin with?
I told HIM (friend) that I would send his kid some gift around Christmas time.
.
But, you are the one saying the gift was late so clearly both of you had expectations by a certain date. You said that you didn't get it mailed out until the 26th because you were spending time with friends and family. Expectations may have been too high on both sides.
No one can answer that, because we don't know the guy. There could be hundreds of other reasons, but it's hard to say what it could be without knowing more. All we know about is the Christmas situation, so that is what we can speculate on.
Do you have any mutual friends that you can ask? They would know your friendship better then a bunch of strangers on the internet.
You said he might be dating. Does he have a girlfriend? Maybe they've just been spending the last week together and he doesn't want to be texting calling other girls while she's around.
Honestly I just choose to move on at this point. Obviously, our friendship is not that important.
I will give him couple of month to talk again, i will make one last call (I am thinking maybe around Feb because I might be moving to another state in the beginning of March), if still no response, I will just kiss this friendship goodbye. No big deal.
Honestly I just choose to move on at this point. Obviously, our friendship is not that important.
I will give him couple of month to talk again, i will make one last call (I am thinking maybe around Feb because I might be moving to another state in the beginning of March), if still no response, I will just kiss this friendship goodbye. No big deal.
No, we don't have mutual friends.
If he can't even send you a simple reply text or call, then forget about making one last call.
Honestly I just choose to move on at this point. Obviously, our friendship is not that important.
I will give him couple of month to talk again, i will make one last call (I am thinking maybe around Feb because I might be moving to another state in the beginning of March), if still no response, I will just kiss this friendship goodbye. No big deal.
No, we don't have mutual friends.
I personally wouldn't make anymore calls to him, it is time for him to make the next move and do some explaining when and if he wants that. The guy knows you have been trying to speak with him and he obviously choose to ignore your efforts for the time being. If he have any decency, he should at least let you that the kids finally received the gift and to say thank you. If you choose to move on, then do just that. If he finally decide to get back with you, then you can take it from there, but mean what you say and move on, stop putting yourself on hold over this guy. You will be fine.
I personally wouldn't make anymore calls to him, it is time for him to make the next move and do some explaining when and if he wants that. The guy knows you have been trying to speak with him and he obviously choose to ignore your efforts for the time being. If he have any decency, he should at least let you that the kids finally received the gift and to say thank you. If you choose to move on, then do just that. If he finally decide to get back with you, then you can take it from there, but mean what you say and move on, stop putting yourself on hold over this guy. You will be fine.
Thank you ipaper. You have been very helpful. And thanks everybody for replying.
OP, in other words, you are not interested in possible explanations why he may view this as a bigger deal than you do if some of the responsibility is yours.
Suppose it's not the fact that the gift will arrive late, but rather that he put 100% faith and trust in his friend who let him down. Maybe he was really counting on you, but you were not aware of how important it was to him, especially for his kid. This kind of misunderstanding is a common cause of friendship rifts.
When the gift arrives he will probably forgive eventually, but he may never forget that he can't count on you.
Is this a serious question? Do we no longer place any value on keeping our word?
Teaching children the value of keeping your word and dependability are important character traits, or at least they used to be. Don't promise or imply you will do something and then not deliver. It doesn't matter if the adult is a relative or not.
Wikihow makes it real simple in 5 steps (with pictures). How To Keep a Promise.
It was the OP who suggested that dad is mad that the gift is late and that the kid may be disappointed. Obviously the OP knows that dad was expecting it by a certain date, and the OP admits that it's late; she didn't mail it until the 26th. Also, this may not be dad's issue but it is possible he told the kid about this special thing and then it didn't happen when he expected it. So dad ends up looking like a jerk and the kid distrusts dad.
I don't know what dad's issue is any more than you do. It's just a possibility.
I think the more important thing would be teaching the child, "It was ordered from overseas. It takes time, you need to be patient." I would find that more important.
Last year I ordered a gift for a co-worker's grandchild. I placed the order before Thanksgiving. It was coming from China and said it wouldn't arrive until 12-27-2013. I told my coworker and she explained to her grandson, "Did you know there's another world out there? Somewhere that it'll take several weeks for a gift to arrive to us? Santa is waiting for a gift from one of these places and Santa will be making special delivery to you after Christmas." or something like that. The grandson understood. She ended up getting the package on 12-16-2013... it was earlier than expected.
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