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Good point... So many middle-aged people -- especially single women -- essentially devote their entire lives to babysitting, if not raising, their grandchildren. Personally, I'd be all "been there, done that...your turn!" but they seem to derive their very purpose for living in doing this; SMH! Not sure when the working parents ever see their own children, since either school, daycare, or the grandparents have them ALL of the time.
At any rate, different strokes, but it leaves them little to no time to develop a life or friends outside of this.
I totally agree. We are friends with a couple who babysit their grandkids almost every day. They are so busy and have very little time to socialize. It's too bad because we really enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy ours. We would love to be able to call them and suggest an outing the same day. But this can seldom happen because of the grandchildren. I wonder if some day they'll be sorry they didn't savor their retirement more.
I totally agree. We are friends with a couple who babysit their grandkids almost every day. They are so busy and have very little time to socialize. It's too bad because we really enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy ours. We would love to be able to call them and suggest an outing the same day. But this can seldom happen because of the grandchildren. I wonder if some day they'll be sorry they didn't savor their retirement more.
They are probably spending their time exactly like they want to...
It's only "too bad" for you because you would prefer spontaneous outings ...
Not too old to have fun. The keyword is effort. The best meetups to attend are those that only require you to attend and do no work in advance. Work for strangers is a no-go and no one is going to invest work for a group of strangers. Effort, materials, and/or money expended for strangers is a bad investment. On the other hand, mere attendance is easy as it only requires you to show up, doesn't cost you much, and you can leave whenever you want (and maybe go do something else to salvage the day/evening).
[keep it simple]
It is disheartening to keep hearing that merely "showing up" is the best effort anyone can muster but the crowd has spoken.
Just to clarify, the cookie party was not my event. It was in early December and meant as a way for everyone to have a variety of cookies available for the upcoming holidays, when they might be hosting family and friends. I only included it to illustrate that people did not participate as the host intended. I don't get that it is controlling to expect people to do what the event they signed up for specified.
But judging from some of the replies I think I might be out of step in what I think is fun.
I don't know why people were giving you grief about your comments about a cookie exchange.
The annual cookie exchange, at my former job, was the social high light of the year. Often there would be 20 to 25 people involved and everyone would bring that many dozen, fancy holiday cookies to exchange. So each person would go home with 20 to 25 dozen cookies for the upcoming holiday season. Some people would give plates of cookies as gifts and others would just use them for their holiday parties and family get-togethers. I can't believe that people thought that six dozen cookies were too many cookies.
Many businesses and social groups have very successful cookie exchanges. But, of course, people need to follow the rules (such as actually bringing cookies if they say that they are bringing cookies).
Good luck on finding new friends. I am 62 years old and both my best friend since HS and my husband's best friend (since MS) have already passed away and many other old friends have moved away.
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-11-2015 at 04:43 PM..
I know a few people 50 plus who have made close friends. Both happened to meet neighbors who they bonded with. They did things like go out to eat or to a movie.
Another way was to volunteer.
My cousin who is older met people in her book club.
It is disheartening to keep hearing that merely "showing up" is the best effort anyone can muster but the crowd has spoken.
That's all any stranger is going to want to do. Now, once you've met a few times, and have indeed become friends, then perhaps a different approach can be taken.
Would I bake cookies for strangers? No. Would I bake cookies for friends? Yes.
It is disheartening to keep hearing that merely "showing up" is the best effort anyone can muster but the crowd has spoken.
You have very high expectations of people...
I bet you get let down very often..
Most of my friends are trying to keep their head above water with life's demands and
would still like to take a few hours out occasionally for some socializing with
others..
So instead of putting people down for not mustering much effort, not following directions,
not knowing how to have fun, not reading listening or caring, pretending,
flaking out with half hearted efforts...why not try to find out what is going on in their lives...
It seems you only want friends who have perfect lives with no pressures or hardships,
which is exactly why you find yourself friendless...
It is disheartening to keep hearing that merely "showing up" is the best effort anyone can muster but the crowd has spoken.
A few of my best gatherings have been when people just show up.
We had three last year - and all three were well-received and well attended.
1) I got an ice cream maker as a gift. I experimented with various recipes and invited people to come taste test. Some brought their favorite topping, but that was spontaneous on their part. They just needed to show up!
2) We did a wine run and asked people to come sample the goods. All they had to do was show up.
3) I wanted to try out some new cake recipes. I made three and asked people to just show up and taste test.
Good point... So many middle-aged people -- especially single women -- essentially devote their entire lives to babysitting, if not raising, their grandchildren. Personally, I'd be all "been there, done that...your turn!" but they seem to derive their very purpose for living in doing this; SMH! Not sure when the working parents ever see their own children, since either school, daycare, or the grandparents have them ALL of the time.
At any rate, different strokes, but it leaves them little to no time to develop a life or friends outside of this.
And then there are the single, middle-aged women who don't have grandchildren or children, and are enjoying hobbies, travel and socializing. Those are the ones people like the OP should seek out.
And then there are the single, middle-aged women who don't have grandchildren or children, and are enjoying hobbies, travel and socializing. Those are the ones people like the OP should seek out.
I'm sure what you said is correct. However, I know many people who DO have grandchildren and still socialize and enjoy hobbies, traveling, etc. Not everyone wants to spend most of their time babysitting, whether they are married or single, grandparents or not.
Last edited by staywarm2; 01-12-2015 at 04:41 PM..
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People With Grandchildren Socialize Also
