Is there a moral obligation to help less fortunate family members out financially? (sister, retirement)
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The deal with family and money is that if you feel compelled to help by all means do but make it an outright gift and not a loan. Too many families are damaged or even torn apart by financial obligations which are not honored. Ask me how I know.
It's just interesting how money is taboo, whether you have it or don't.
If you're sick, a family member who had cooking skills has no problem with making chicken soup or cooking other meals so the sick relative doesn't have to.
If a family member is having a emotional problems, then a loved one who is a good listener or supportive is quick to be there with good advice.
However, if a relative is having financial difficulties, the family member(s) who is(are) well off never offer life changing financial help they are gifted with. In fact, no one talks about it, even though people may know the need, or may be so desperate they are about to lose everything and still don't ask for help.
There's a huge difference between bringing over soup or casserole to a sick relative and giving them significant financial assistance ($50,000 is very significant even for a wealthy person).
There's a huge difference between bringing over soup or casserole to a sick relative and giving them significant financial assistance ($50,000 is very significant even for a wealthy person).
What is YOUR opinion OP?
If I feel I could lift a financial burden off of a family member in a life changing way, I would. Especially if I see they are working hard, are responsible, and just had some bad financial luck. It seems like the right thing to do.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daylux
If I feel I could lift a financial burden off of a family member in a life changing way, I would. Especially if I see they are working hard, are responsible, and just had some bad financial luck. It seems like the right thing to do.
I know that's easier said than done, though.
just to warn you. money can be the source of conflict. I've seen it happen. Will you feel resentment towards them if they keep repeating poor financial decisions?
Personally, if I were in the situation described and only offered help because of illness, I'd flat out refuse the offer of money, telling you to keep it and needed it more than I.
If you couldn't help when well and healthy, forget it.
What do you think "social services" can do when someone is sick? They can't keep you from saving your house, car and/or job. Maybe they can connect you to free health care. That is about the extent of it.
Sorry to disillusion, but there is no "social services" in this country that swoops in the help people who are sick. Some can get SSDI and that takes years. Some lose everything in the meantime.
What do you think "social services" can do when someone is sick? They can't keep you from saving your house, car and/or job. Maybe they can connect you to free health care. That is about the extent of it.
Sorry to disillusion, but there is no "social services" in this country that swoops in the help people who are sick. Some can get SSDI and that takes years. Some lose everything in the meantime.
Usually we're on the same page, the exception here. Everyone's required to have health insurance now.
If you're not working due to an illness, your eligible for social services or referral to other agencies for help. Almost every hospital offers medical help based on sliding scale of income. If ineligible, I'd suspect it because of far to many assets.
and sometimes helping family ends up with quid pro quo even unintentionally.
"After all I helped them with rent last 2 months and they didn't even bother to send me a birthday card" or something like that. People keep score.
I believe in anonymously helping folks where I can. I had a neighbor who fell on really hard times through no fault of her own. For 4 weeks in a row I put gift certificates to her favorite grocery store in her mail box. She told me she wasn't supposed to know who it was from but her old boss had been putting gift certificates in her mailbox. I just kept my mouth shut as the point was to help her and her kids and not get praise.
I once helped my nephew with money to take care of debts (and a great deal of money). He didn't tell my brother because I asked him not to but when my brother told me this nephew bought a new truck with an "unexpected windfall" I was furious. He had used the debt money to buy a new truck and he still had debts. This told me exactly all I needed to know about how he got into such debt in the first place and I never gave him another dime. And of course he did ask again. I simply told him the well was dry. You really have to be careful with money and family.
There is a moral obligation to not start a family until u r able to at least feed yourself
As to the war on income inequality it is mostly fought by muggers and rip off artists and leeches
just to warn you. money can be the source of conflict. I've seen it happen. Will you feel resentment towards them if they keep repeating poor financial decisions?
Not that I'm in the position to do that or ever would be, but I would have to think about things like that. I would hope not.
Usually we're on the same page, the exception here. Everyone's required to have health insurance now.
If you're not working due to an illness, your eligible for social services or referral to other agencies for help. Almost every hospital offers medical help based on sliding scale of income. If ineligible, I'd suspect it because of far to many assets.
I'm just saying that the medical help is the easy thing to get. Maybe food stamps too. But help for your mortgage or rent? I don't know of ANY agency that will help with that outside of SSI or SSDI. And the SSI and/or SSDI can take up to years to kick in. But in the meantime . . . .
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