Anybody else here actually like family reunions? (husband, drifting, brother)

[arizona stallion]

I absolutely love our annual family reunions and some of our family's best memories are at family reunions. Every year we find a different location, usually at a large cabin that sleeps 40 with lots of fun recreation all around. The cousins all have fun hanging out with each other, siblings connect, good times all around.

I also enjoy the broader family reunions where I get to meet less known relatives. Interesting to see where people have gone in their lives, and to share the common bond of being related.

[rrah]

One part of my family has held a reunion every year for at least 60 years. I've been to every year since I was born except for one year. It's always a potluck picnic held outdoors. The location has changed over the years since a number of us have moved away from the area where many lived. I loved them when I was a child, tolerated them as a teen, and enjoy them again in middle age. They've become smaller over the years. One year I think we were down to about 20 or so. This past year a number of people showed up that had not attended in years so it was a larger group--about 40 or so. As a child it seemed like there were probably 100 or so people there. I do wonder if my cousins and second cousins will continue the tradition once the older members pass. I hope so.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by AK-Cathy

I have found the people who keep themselves busy in the kitchen and performing custodial duties are doing it to avoid the socialization. Next time have the event catered, don't cook ANYTHING, stop acting like the maid, and get back to us about how the event was.

If it were only so simple.

My Mom is planning a big family shindig this summer that I'm dreading. An example of how it's going to go was this Christmas. We came out expecting it to be a quiet holiday just my DH and I but it had turned into a 12 person meal by the time we got there. Mom got sick the day before and retreated to her room pretty much till everyone left three days later. This has happened many times over the years.

When my sister in law told me that Mom was wanting to build a dance floor outside for this reunion I felt like making plans to leave the country. I know how it's likely going to go. She's going to make all of these grandiose plans, a complicated menu and then shut or melt down about the time that the stressful part comes into play chaining my sisters, sisters in-law and I to the kitchen. I'd pay for the frigging catering myself if they weren't in the middle of nowhere BFE wind swept plains, 40 miles from the nearest town with any services to speak of, the nearest caterers being several hours away. Lord knows I'd rather be out shooting the breeze with folks than KP duties but the show must go on.

I remember the last reunion and expect more of the same this time, the over commitments, the logistics that aren't worked out, the menu the requires many hands and hours to prepare, the constant cleaning just to keep a small kitchen from getting overwhelmed with dishes, serving plates etc. If I sat on my can BSing during the proceedings, the other conscripted women in my family would be irate and rightly so. I'll do my part but I'm not looking forward to it. This will be my Mother's last reunion and very likely none of us will take up the cause in the future.

After many years I understand that it would be hard to change the expectations, but, AK-Cathy, you are aware that men (sons, grandsons, brothers) ARE able to cook and wash dishes, too? (obviously, I am being sarcastic because everyone knows that).

And, even if the house is in the middle of nowhere can you hire some teens or adults who live in the area to help in the kitchen? In a truly rural area there probably aren't a lot of chances to earn extra money and I bet that people would be excited to help (and earn extra money). Maybe, one of the neighbors is known for her wonderful pies & cakes and would be willing to make them for payment and another neighbor could supervise the grill or whatever (if you can't get your own spouses & children to help). Maybe, even the nearest grocery store will deliver deli food, for a fee. Perhaps, you can "think outside of the box" to come up with some ideas. Good luck to you.

I guess that I have been lucky that in my family everyone (or almost everyone) helps out so that everyone has time to enjoy the party. I am picturing one reunion where it was partly catered (usually for that side of the family the reunions are completely potluck) and ALL of the major clean-up & dish washing was done by a few of the male cousins. They pleasantly joked that the huge trays were too heavy for the female cousins to lift. Was it sort of chauvinistic? Yes, but who cared as long as everyone was sharing the work AND the fun. For those reunions there are sign up sheets for the various jobs and it is understood that all teens and adults are expected to help out to make the reunion a success and so that a few people do not have to do all of the work.

My brother holds a mini-reunion at his home for every holiday, for between 20 and 40 people, and does ALL of the cooking himself. Yes, a man doing all of the cooking, but that is his choice as he loves to cook. Of course, since he does the cooking everyone else helps with the serving, cleanup, dish washing and everything else that needs to be done. (well, almost everyone helps, as his wife never lifts a finger to help in any way, but she feels that it is her job as hostess to keep the conversations going and play with the grandchildren. but that is another story).

[wannaskedaddle]

how nice, I'm happy for you xboxmas. I also love family reunions very much. Basically, everybody ought to love that.Why? Because of we're human and we sholdn't be silly! Someway we love whole friends and friend reunions,dates etc. but we couldn't love our family and our relatives. I guess the modernizm advises that, It's not complicated.

[longnecker]

Originally Posted by Pocopsonite

Don't know about family reunions. We never have had them on either parent's side of the family. I did skip my recent "major" high school reunion. Could not care less about what any of those people look like or are doing these days. (It harks back to mid-last-century, so it's been a while . . .)

I am with you on that.I went once years ago .That was enough!! Passed on all of then since including the reunions.

[DutchessCottonPuff]

No . Most of my family is gone anyway and my sister and I were always the "colorful" ones .

[adner]

I love our family reunions. We have a HUGE family and they come from all over the USA to meet once every other year. We cry when we leave each other because we really want to be a bigger part of each other's lives which is difficult when life and miles separate you.

[snowchaser2002]

Actually when I was a kid I loved family reunions on both sides of my family, because I got to see cousins that were my age. Now as an adult my family has kind of grown apart and since my grandparents(RIP) have died, they were the glue that kept us together we have splintered off. It's kind of sad actually! But yeah I use to love going to them growing up.

[ccc123]

My husbands family has a huge 3-4 day reunion every year. Anyone who is not local stays at the same motel, we basically take it over. Everybody is in and out all day long. We are not all together every minute but small groups doing their own thing. Everyone eats bfast together every morning though. On Saturday morning everyone goes to the family cemetery and cleans up the graves, rakes etc. even the children are involved. Usually someone says a few words. On Saturday evening they rent out a picnic pavilion and have a BBQ, after eating usually someone will tell stories to the younger kids about their relatives that have passed. They feel like it's important for the kids to know where they come from. It's a large,very close,southern family. I enjoy it but am always ready to go home when it's over.

[HappyFarm34]

No. I'm not much of a family person. I rather stay away.