Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're making a very reasonable financial case for having a roommate and that's a good move to save money.
You may need to read between the lines with your mother however - maybe she thinks you're never going to want to settle down and get married? Or that you'll have a tougher time getting a girlfriend if you have a roommate (and yes, you might!). Do you have older (or even younger!) siblings who are already married? Does your mother really, really want grandkids?
I'm not saying you should change what you're doing - but if she's thinking along these lines at least you can understand her concerns.
Just to preface this, I'm a 27 year old male and currently make very good money. Since leaving for college, I have always had roommates either in college or out in the real world. If I stretched myself, I could afford to live by myself; however, I'm currently in a very happy state just having one roommate at a time. After college, I've generally had one roommate in a 2 BR/2 BA housing situation where we each get our own bathroom and decent sized room. To add to that, I get along with each of them, some have become friends.
Simply put, I just don't attach that much value and utility to living completely by myself. Sure, I would LOVE to live by myself, but I like limiting my housing payments to 25% of my after tax income to enjoy doing things I love and to save money. Plus, having a roommate lets me live in the cool part of town without killing myself financially. Again, I have my own bathroom and bedroom, and good location, so I just see myself as being in a good spot.
I have a great mom, but she keeps obsessing over the fact that I have a roommate: she thinks it's bizarre for a 27 year old man to live with another guy. Even today she said "are you just going to live with another guy for the rest of your life? Time to grow up" FYI I've had female roommates too. It really bothers me that she says this because I feel like a 27 year old with a CPA license, working for a Fortune 500 company, NO DEBT except for a car loan with a 1.9% interest rate is "grown up" but apparently that's not good enough.
I've expressed to her that times are different for my generation but she really harps on this roommate thing a lot and how weird and juvenile it is. I'm even looking at making my first home purchase, but if I get a 3 bedroom place, I intend on renting one room out. I'm not ready to live with the girl I'm dating: we've only been dating 3 months. I just don't want to be paying 1/2 my income just to live by myself because I don't attach that much utility to living by myself: I grew up with a brother, had roommates in college, and had them after college...I'm just used to it.
I know this is an extremely minor issue, but does anyone have any advice on how I should approach her and explain to her how times are different, why having a roommate is a fiscally sound decision and that it's quite normal for my age group to have a roommate? I want to drive the point home without being disrespectful.
You should tell her you are not going to engage in her rudeness again. She is obviously jealous of you and this is all she has. Something is very wrong here, very wrong. No matter how nice you are, there is some resentment that she harbours you need to address. Hence why she keep harping on it. But be prepared after it is addressed, lest she continue the resentment unless it's dealt with
And eliminate. Good luck, sorry this is happening. I'd be proud to have you as a son. There is no clause which says you are not a grown up becuase you live with roommates versus your family. She's a bit out there
Don't tell Mom how her belittling makes you feel, it is intended to do that. So you're notifying her she is succeeding in her goal. And that is giving her some kind of satisfaction she doesn't deserve. Of course she knows you don't like it. And That's feeding a troll
Instead either find something to belittle her back with, and ALWAYS come up with that, or let it go. Or address her resentment of you and jealousy directly.
Always belittle her back, something about her appearance should work well. It might happen twice but it will stop. This is so sad, and shouldn't happen. I can't imagine telling my 23 year old son he isn't a grown up, or even trying to indicate such. Wow
Just to preface this, I'm a 27 year old male and currently make very good money. Since leaving for college, I have always had roommates either in college or out in the real world. If I stretched myself, I could afford to live by myself; however, I'm currently in a very happy state just having one roommate at a time. After college, I've generally had one roommate in a 2 BR/2 BA housing situation where we each get our own bathroom and decent sized room. To add to that, I get along with each of them, some have become friends.
Simply put, I just don't attach that much value and utility to living completely by myself. Sure, I would LOVE to live by myself, but I like limiting my housing payments to 25% of my after tax income to enjoy doing things I love and to save money. Plus, having a roommate lets me live in the cool part of town without killing myself financially. Again, I have my own bathroom and bedroom, and good location, so I just see myself as being in a good spot.
I have a great mom, but she keeps obsessing over the fact that I have a roommate: she thinks it's bizarre for a 27 year old man to live with another guy. Even today she said "are you just going to live with another guy for the rest of your life? Time to grow up" FYI I've had female roommates too. It really bothers me that she says this because I feel like a 27 year old with a CPA license, working for a Fortune 500 company, NO DEBT except for a car loan with a 1.9% interest rate is "grown up" but apparently that's not good enough.
I've expressed to her that times are different for my generation but she really harps on this roommate thing a lot and how weird and juvenile it is. I'm even looking at making my first home purchase, but if I get a 3 bedroom place, I intend on renting one room out. I'm not ready to live with the girl I'm dating: we've only been dating 3 months. I just don't want to be paying 1/2 my income just to live by myself because I don't attach that much utility to living by myself: I grew up with a brother, had roommates in college, and had them after college...I'm just used to it.
I know this is an extremely minor issue, but does anyone have any advice on how I should approach her and explain to her how times are different, why having a roommate is a fiscally sound decision and that it's quite normal for my age group to have a roommate? I want to drive the point home without being disrespectful.
It sounds to me that you have a sensible approach to your life, and that it works for you. And, in my opinion, that's all you should have to say to your mother.
Also, while it might be odd for someone to have roommates if they're in their forties or so, the only reasons I'd figure younger people shouldn't is if they're married or have kids. I believe married couples and people (couples or individuals) with kids should have their own households.
Or she is afraid if other conclusions "people" might draw from his living situation.
heh- when I first moved out on my own, I shared a house with 4 guys. My mother was not pleased with the situation. lol
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
FYI I've had female roommates too. It really bothers me that she says this because I feel like a 27 year old with a CPA license, working for a Fortune 500 company, NO DEBT except for a car loan with a 1.9% interest rate is "grown up" but apparently that's not good enough. 
