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Just to preface this, I'm a 27 year old male and currently make very good money. Since leaving for college, I have always had roommates either in college or out in the real world. If I stretched myself, I could afford to live by myself; however, I'm currently in a very happy state just having one roommate at a time. After college, I've generally had one roommate in a 2 BR/2 BA housing situation where we each get our own bathroom and decent sized room. To add to that, I get along with each of them, some have become friends.
Simply put, I just don't attach that much value and utility to living completely by myself. Sure, I would LOVE to live by myself, but I like limiting my housing payments to 25% of my after tax income to enjoy doing things I love and to save money. Plus, having a roommate lets me live in the cool part of town without killing myself financially. Again, I have my own bathroom and bedroom, and good location, so I just see myself as being in a good spot.
I have a great mom, but she keeps obsessing over the fact that I have a roommate: she thinks it's bizarre for a 27 year old man to live with another guy. Even today she said "are you just going to live with another guy for the rest of your life? Time to grow up" FYI I've had female roommates too. It really bothers me that she says this because I feel like a 27 year old with a CPA license, working for a Fortune 500 company, NO DEBT except for a car loan with a 1.9% interest rate is "grown up" but apparently that's not good enough.
I've expressed to her that times are different for my generation but she really harps on this roommate thing a lot and how weird and juvenile it is. I'm even looking at making my first home purchase, but if I get a 3 bedroom place, I intend on renting one room out. I'm not ready to live with the girl I'm dating: we've only been dating 3 months. I just don't want to be paying 1/2 my income just to live by myself because I don't attach that much utility to living by myself: I grew up with a brother, had roommates in college, and had them after college...I'm just used to it.
I know this is an extremely minor issue, but does anyone have any advice on how I should approach her and explain to her how times are different, why having a roommate is a fiscally sound decision and that it's quite normal for my age group to have a roommate? I want to drive the point home without being disrespectful.
In an above thread i stated that I would prefer to be nice to people I obviously don't like. You are not entry level any more, you should be living with a woman or being able to afford your own place until such a woman comes alone.
I've expressed to her that times are different for my generation but she really harps on this roommate thing a lot and how weird and juvenile it is. I'm even looking at making my first home purchase, but if I get a 3 bedroom place, I intend on renting one room out. I'm not ready to live with the girl I'm dating: we've only been dating 3 months. I just don't want to be paying 1/2 my income just to live by myself because I don't attach that much utility to living by myself: I grew up with a brother, had roommates in college, and had them after college...I'm just used to it.
I have two sons that are close in age to you. They live in the nearest "big city" and they've had roommates for years...mostly male, but some female. Things are different for your generation, and I don't think your Mom understands this. You guys (and gals) are generally getting married later than the previous generation (which I think, for most, is a good thing), and the economics of the times are way different than they used to be. As long as you're happy, I think you're smart to have roommates...look at all the money you're saving!
Maybe each time your Mom bring this up, you could simply say politely, "Mom, we've already discussed this.". That's it...end of conversation. Good luck!
You are on the right track so keep it up. Next time she asks just tell her that when she was your age she didnt have to pay bills for the cell phone, internet & cable, which are becoming as essential as food, electricity. Her generation also had better job security than yours so you need to be prepared for any surprises. You decided to live with roommates & save some money so that you dont have to move back with her just in case you lose your job.
That right there ^^^. Excellent reply. I still had roommates when I was in my late twenties and I was working for a Fortune 100. I was saving for the down payment on a house and I was never sorry I made that choice. I agree with those who say the OP's mother should be proud of him.
A friend of mine is bi-costal has been for the past 2 or 3 years. He has had an apartment in the heart of Midtown, NY for 7 5 years now and always has a roommate. It's worked out for him because he has a great place, pays 60% of the rent so he get's the bigger bed room and bathroom that comes with it. His roommate basically has the place to him self for weeks to months at a time and when he is on the West Coast he rents a small studio apartment. Oh, he is 34 now.
This is going to sound snarky but I can't imagine my mother ever having had anything to say about my living arrangements at 18 (when I moved out) let alone 27. And I would have ignored her anyway.
As I said earlier, it's none of her business unless she's supporting you.
In an above thread i stated that I would prefer to be nice to people I obviously don't like. You are not entry level any more, you should be living with a woman or being able to afford your own place until such a woman comes alone.
So your response to a thread about someone who has no place telling an adult how to live his life is to tell the adult how to live his life?
I think you're missing something.
To the OP: you obviously want to maintain relations with your mother. I don't know the exact way to phrase it within your relationship, but the message to get across to her is that you're satisfied with how your life is going and you don't consider it open for discussion.
Don't say anything, even in jest (like telling her she can have a say if she pays half your rent) that encourages increased involvement in your life decisions.
My response to the constant harping on this would be pretty simple. The very next time she brings it up, just state "I'm happy the way things are Mom". If she continues, just stand up and say "So sorry, I have to go now" and leave. Then repeat this every time she starts in this way. She will catch on real quick. Boundaries!! You're a grown-azz man and it's time mom started treating you like one. You are making sound financial decisions and even sounding very mature in the girlfriend department, so it's really none of her business whether you have a roommate. You pay your bills and she doesn't get to tell you how to do it.
In an above thread i stated that I would prefer to be nice to people I obviously don't like. You are not entry level any more, you should be living with a woman or being able to afford your own place until such a woman comes alone.
WTH?? Not mom's business, and not yours either, DPolo. He can live with whomever he chooses and it has nothing to do with a woman "coming along". He has a girlfriend, and he stated that their relationship is new. He is very smart in waiting until he really knows if she is the one, or if he is even ready to settle down. Nobody's business.... There is no "should" to it.
In an above thread i stated that I would prefer to be nice to people I obviously don't like. You are not entry level any more, you should be living with a woman or being able to afford your own place until such a woman comes alone.
Ok, Mom.
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FYI I've had female roommates too. It really bothers me that she says this because I feel like a 27 year old with a CPA license, working for a Fortune 500 company, NO DEBT except for a car loan with a 1.9% interest rate is "grown up" but apparently that's not good enough. 
