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My wife and I do not live together, but are happily married. In fact, my family has been living in another country for quite some time. I go to visit them, relatively frequently, but cannot move yet due to work.
I met a woman that I thought we had a lot in common, so I told her I would be happy to buy her dinner. She thought about it for several months before saying yes. I told her at the beginning that I would not do anything to jeopordize my marriage (ie. I was not interested in anything romantic, just platonic, someone to dine with and share conversation and drinks).
We went out to dinner six or seven times, met for coffee several times, etc. I saw her at a little party right before going to see my family for the Christmas/New Year holidays. Upon my return, I texted her to have dinner and her reply was very cut and dry, that she was busy every night that week. A couple of weeks later I texted her again and she did not reply.
I saw her recently and asked her what happened, that she seemed different towards me, whether I had done anything. She said no, that she had been very stressed and was busy every night. So I suggested coffee some afternoon, but she said her days are busy too.
Well, I know she may be busy, but no one is busy every single night if they want to get together with a friend, so I know that she just doesn't want to get together. I'm trying to make sense of it in my head. Any ideas?
I thought we had developed a nice friendship, but I'm away for three weeks, come back and she seems like a different person.
Despite you telling her that you are married, she may have developed feelings for you. If so, she realizes that this is wrong so she has decided to no longer contact you.
Or she may have met a man who is unattached and started dating him.
Despite you telling her that you are married, she may have developed feelings for you. If so, she realizes that this is wrong so she has decided to no longer contact you.
Or she may have met a man who is unattached and started dating him.
It crossed my mind that maybe that was the case and since there is no 'romantic' future (I'm not even interested in having a 'friend with benefits, just friendship), she may have decided it was best for us not to do things together. But if she had met a man and started dating, wouldn't she have told me that? I mean I would be very happy for her as I know she is somewhat frustrated in that regard.
PS- Were you upfront with your wife ---does your wife know about this woman ? How would you feel if your wife was meeting some guy regularly for dinner, conversations and drinks ?
Keep your distance. And stay away from single women. Maybe try to befriend a couple or a gay man. Or just another man... they aren't all pickup trucks and sports.
My wife and I do not live together, but are happily married. In fact, my family has been living in another country for quite some time. I go to visit them, relatively frequently, but cannot move yet due to work.
I met a woman that I thought we had a lot in common, so I told her I would be happy to buy her dinner. She thought about it for several months before saying yes. I told her at the beginning that I would not do anything to jeopordize my marriage (ie. I was not interested in anything romantic, just platonic, someone to dine with and share conversation and drinks).
We went out to dinner six or seven times, met for coffee several times, etc. I saw her at a little party right before going to see my family for the Christmas/New Year holidays. Upon my return, I texted her to have dinner and her reply was very cut and dry, that she was busy every night that week. A couple of weeks later I texted her again and she did not reply.
I saw her recently and asked her what happened, that she seemed different towards me, whether I had done anything. She said no, that she had been very stressed and was busy every night. So I suggested coffee some afternoon, but she said her days are busy too.
Well, I know she may be busy, but no one is busy every single night if they want to get together with a friend, so I know that she just doesn't want to get together. I'm trying to make sense of it in my head. Any ideas?
I thought we had developed a nice friendship, but I'm away for three weeks, come back and she seems like a different person.
She has changed toward you, and there isn't anything you can do to change that. Just accept that your friendship can go no further. You are right that she is making excuses for not dining with you, and her excuse about being busy is not correct either. She simply does not want to see you again.
Yes, it seems odd to you, but I'd just drop it. People do things like this all the time. It is maddening, but there it is.
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