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I currently have a friend who nitpicks everything about me and my life.
You may want to evaluate your definition of friend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
you ever dealt with something like this amongst any of your "friends"? In your opinion, what drives someone to act this way? Would you stick it out with someone like this?
I only allow people in my hula hoop that make me feel happy and loved. If you can't be nice then you are kicked out of the circle.
some friends (even some from the outside who have nothing to do with the friendship) take the position that when a friend tells you things about yourself that are hurtful "they at least 'care'a about you enough to tell you" whereas a friend "who always tells you what you want to hear isn't much of a friend".
i often thought about this when i was in my bad "friendship". although maybe my "friend" did care, I just could not deal with constant assaults on my character. even if he was being sincere and acting out of concern, i just chalked it up to the fact that we both were just too different and could not go on.
and funny that after i ended it all, my life started to turn around for the better
Insecurity drives him- tearing you down builds himself up in his mind.
However, why would you care ? This is not a friend. Friends do not treat each other this way. As far as sticking it out, I would never have considered to try to be a friend with this sort of person.
Find better people. Find people who add to your life. People who make you uncomfortable, backstab you, use you to build themselves up, etc., etc. etc. are just not friend material. Don't keep making the same mistake.
Friends bring security & comfort to our lives. You don't have to question your relationship with friends. .
^^^perfectly stated^^^
Yes, we all have known people like this and many of us who are older/wiser, learned to leave behind people like this, whether they are family or friends (life is too short to do otherwise).
No one needs such toxicity in their lives... real friends will build each other up, be there for each other, and will be happy for their friend's successes (not jealous).
I think most people have had someone like this in their lives. Eventually you find your breaking point and let them go. Some hang on longer than they should. The main reason being, not every interaction or time spent with the person is bad. This is what makes relationships like this toxic and manipulative. Anytime someone cuts you down, its time to let go. This friendship has met it's life span.
This friend of yours sounds like an insecure loser. The smartest and most sensible thing to do is to kick him out of your life. Of course, it's not always as easy as it seems, but if you keep a toxic friend in your life for so long, they succeed in bringing you down.
In my experience, *real* friends are very rare to find. Those who stick with you to the very end and care about you don't exactly grow on trees. I've had many "friends" who were horrible. I've had one friend who was so insecure and obsessed with her looks that she would call me fat, gleefully tell me that I should be jealous of her for being skinny, and try to purposely make me eat junk food when I was on a diet. In the end, this person had *WAY* too many issues that I cut her out of my life (she didn't take it very well, but that's a story for another day). I also dealt with "friends" who don't realize that friendship is a two way high way...I did my best to listen to the people I cared about, and even stayed up all night while they pored their feelings out for their own problems. However, I soon learned that they did not do the same to me. Whenever I needed someone who would listen,they would hastily make up some excuse and avoid me. There are some people in the world who don't realize that the world contains more than the problems in their life, and these people make horrible friends. The only people they would get along with are people who are equally as self centered as they are. These people had to go as well.
Take advantage of the common sense you have. Do your friends really care about you? Are they taking advantage of you? Are they constantly putting you down? Do you feel comfortable around them? You are able to see for yourself who you should keep in your life and who you shouldn't.
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