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Old 01-10-2008, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Who knows
2,355 posts, read 1,991,286 times
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Hubby and I actually moved to an area where I knew a good friend lived here. Hubby's family lives around the area; we've become friends with hubby's third cousin, his wife, and their kids...they are distant cousins, hadn't seen a lot of one another nor liked each other then we moved here and BOOM! It's like they are long-lost best friends. LOL...so we all hang out.

I have some acquaintances at work but to be honest, I haven't been in the mood to make more friends. We recently moved from the Bay Area last April and I had a lot of friends over there...friends I mainly made through my different jobs. So -- that's a lot of work so I thought with our new relocation, that we wouldn't make as many friends. It's weird but I just wasn't up to it. And yes, I agree with the poster who said it's not easy to make adult friends, if you don't have children. It's not like when you were in high school or college.
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Old 01-10-2008, 01:47 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,287,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjones96 View Post
It's tough. I know exactly what you're going through. It's very hard to make adult friends period. It's even harder to befriend and entire family. Everyone has to be compatable.

Example. My wife has been friends with this girl named Tara. Tara is married to Jake and they have three kids. Jake and I are ok. We don't have squat to talk about because we have nothing at all in common. He's the blue-collar worker, watch football, bow hunting, beer drinking type. Whereas I'm a white-collar worker, cycling, NASCAR, health nut type. Granid we aren't complete opposites but I'd just assume be home playing checkers with my kids as spending any time alone with the guy. No offence. He's a great guy. We just don't mesh well. Our kids are slightly mismatched in age also. They don't really play well together. The end result is that it's great that my wife and Tara have a friendship together but I don't see our families being well matched.

That's the sort of thing you'll run into. You'll find other women you like and would like to do things with. And you'll try to bring your families together and it just won't go well. Or maybe you'll get lucky and it'll work out.
Isn't that usually the case? Like I will like the wife so much, so will my husband then we put the husband into the mix, and SPLAT, it is a dead end. Then it is always lopsided. Oh well...
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Old 01-10-2008, 01:50 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,287,460 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by eyhossenlopp View Post
Hubby and I actually moved to an area where I knew a good friend lived here. Hubby's family lives around the area; we've become friends with hubby's third cousin, his wife, and their kids...they are distant cousins, hadn't seen a lot of one another nor liked each other then we moved here and BOOM! It's like they are long-lost best friends. LOL...so we all hang out.

I have some acquaintances at work but to be honest, I haven't been in the mood to make more friends. We recently moved from the Bay Area last April and I had a lot of friends over there...friends I mainly made through my different jobs. So -- that's a lot of work so I thought with our new relocation, that we wouldn't make as many friends. It's weird but I just wasn't up to it. And yes, I agree with the poster who said it's not easy to make adult friends, if you don't have children. It's not like when you were in high school or college.
Well, I think it is harder when you have children because then your kids also have to like each other. As for the adults, it is like high school, because if the group is already formed, bringing in a new person is very hard. It's almost as if people seem to have enough friends already that we are the 3rd wheel, sad but true.
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Old 01-10-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,567,016 times
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In the last 6 years I can say we as a couple met only two other couples we meshed with. Both we have since lost touch with as moved out of town then out of the state. With both it was instantaneous. So much in common, great connection all the way around. Since then nada.
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Old 01-10-2008, 01:53 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,287,460 times
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Originally Posted by collected_eve View Post
Wow, too bad none of us are in the same state!

My husband & I are also searching for happy couple friends. We have lived in this area for almost 2 years now & nothing.
We go to church, but aren't super regulars. I'm looking into parent/child groups, hopefully our answer lies there!

Everywhere else that I've lived I just randomly ran into people & developed great friendships with them.
It is TOO BAD! I would take all of you in an instant! We just want to have a good time, have some dinner, have game night, let the kids play while we barbecue. Go to the kiddos birthday parties.
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Old 01-10-2008, 02:12 PM
 
663 posts, read 5,271,706 times
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My hubby and I haven't figured out how to make individual friends or couple friends. We are friendly with people at work but that's about it. And we are involved in a lot of activities (sports, etc.) but it seems that people just want to do the activity and they're not there to make friends. The newcomers groups we joined are all singles, and they don't seem interested in getting to know a married couple. Beyond going to all our groups/activities and trying to get to know people at work I don't know what else we can do, but none of it is working. We've lived here a year and a half already, and it doesn't feel like home yet because we have no social circle here.

We're in our late 20's/early 30's with no kids and it's hard to make friends. I have been lonely ever since we got here and I keep joining new groups and going to new activities but it's always the same thing--people are too "crazy busy" to make time in their lives for new friends, and/or they don't like us.
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Old 01-10-2008, 04:15 PM
 
Location: NJ/SC
4,286 posts, read 13,377,390 times
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We have had the same problem and I recently joined a site where people can join groups with similiar interests and someone from the group volunteers to plan a get together. There's everything from brunch groups, music, sports and much more. Haven't been to one yet but it sounds good. If you want the site name, let me know. I thought even if I go alone maybe I can meet another female that's married and then plan some couples activities.
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Old 01-10-2008, 04:19 PM
 
7,336 posts, read 16,607,105 times
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We have the same problem.....making couple friends! Had it in Denver, CO for the 5 1/2 years there and now have it here in the Charlotte, NC area, but have only been in NC for 3 months. We are headed for the age of 60, no kids and no family here. We have found a church that we like, but no friends so far. They do have a Wednesday night church dinner we will go to next week...see what happens. However, we do have friends "standards" we go by. No smoking, no young kids, no bad swearing and making friends with our age bracket. We would love to meet a couple our age who love boating, fishing, target shooting and playing Poker with a beer and (perhaps shots of tequila and listening to Classic Rock. Sometimes we think that people simply watch to much of the News on tv and see all of the crime around and just don't trust meeting new people in general. Don't know totally what the problem is, but there is definitely a problem nowdays making "couple" friends.
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Old 01-10-2008, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Menver, CO
388 posts, read 239,836 times
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I don't really enjoy meeting new people. First you have to get through all the dumb "first" questions, then it takes a while to really know 'em. Most of the time you figure out they weren't worth the effort to begin with. And if try meeting everyone and their brother, you'll end up with a bunch of people calling and wanting to do things with you - there's just no time for this. When you turn down people's invitations, they get all bitter and sad and then you kind of feel like a jerk. You only need a FEW good people in this world to be happy.
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Old 01-10-2008, 05:46 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,287,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ditto View Post
I don't really enjoy meeting new people. First you have to get through all the dumb "first" questions, then it takes a while to really know 'em. Most of the time you figure out they weren't worth the effort to begin with. And if try meeting everyone and their brother, you'll end up with a bunch of people calling and wanting to do things with you - there's just no time for this. When you turn down people's invitations, they get all bitter and sad and then you kind of feel like a jerk. You only need a FEW good people in this world to be happy.
Yes, I think it is a little like dating...but the part of "you'll end up with a bunch of people calling and wanting to do things with you ", well, I have never had that problem, and I guess that's the kind of problem I would like to have.The thing is, we try to do things with people, like go to dinner. We think it was a great night, then they say, we'll call you, and guess what? They don't call. I feel like the "worst date". then I start to question myself, my husband, did we eat too much, drink too much, do something with the kids, that turned them off, what did we do wrong? Yet, we will see them on the street and they'll say "we had a great time the other night and will do it again sometime', NOT, it never happens.
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