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Wow, I thought I just felt this way. We just moved from another state 3 months ago away from family. We wanted this move and I am really starting to like the area but damn, I don't know a single person. We didn't really have friends per se but because of the neighborhood and kids schools I knew a lot of people so when I was out and about people would look familier to me, because I had seen them before. Now no one looks familier too me, sometimes I just feel like crying which doesn't make sense because I am no way regretting moving. It like someone else said it just doesn't feel like home. I even find myself talking about home (meaning our other house). I guess the difference is that we lived there for 15 years and when we moved there we didn't know anyone. I just have to give myself time.
My problem is even though I am very outgoing and make conversation with anyone while I am out but I don't trust women and friendships too well, I have been burnt too many times. My hubby is shy and not as outgoing as me.
If your kids are little, they may not be into sports yet, but this was the avenue by which we made lots of friends in a new area. Volunteer for things at school like PTO, Booster Clubs, and for the various sports teams your kids participate in. When you volunteer for something (especially if you volunteer for the worst job that nobody wants), you're automatically everyone's best friend.
Here, there is also a Women's Club which has various interest groups which meet separately..book club, gourmet group. Little by little, you'll make a connection.
You say you are not church goers, but maybe you could go to one just for the social aspects. I don't think God would mind.
My husband and I have made many of our close friends through our childrens activities and schools. This was especially the case when they were very small and in preschool.
I also made many friends by joining a community volunteer group and eventually started getting together as couples.
Your spose may have a friend or you may have a friend, but the actual "couple" is not what you would prefer.
Of course you can work with it...
I would also say kids activities, the Y... Going to a place where you enjoy what is going on, and ... introduce yourself to a couple who looks like you could be friends with..
I never liked or understood the whole couples doing things together. So I'm probably not much help. When I was married for 12 years all our couples friends were people my husband worked with, then when we had kids, it was the same thing, people he worked with who had kids. It was never very satisfying to me because it lacked a personal connection for me, as in people wanting and enjoying my company.
I am amazed to hear that there are others out there. OK, but we have no excuses, we are not new. I really think its us because WE HAVE KIDS. No one sticks around at dance and gymnastics. They drop the kids off and go. I have tried the school thing and I am good enough to talk to there but after that, nothing. We do have friends but they are old friends, and they live across town so its not like we can hang out all the time, or their kids are much older or younger...we never make any new friends. I think its giving me a social phobia!!!
It's hard forany one who reads this to give any specific suggestions without knowing where you live. If you live accross town from me, I'll invite you over, If you live in another city, maybe I know someone there that would like to meet you? Hard to say.
Just start waving and smiling at people. Say "hi" at all the people that look social and normal, eventually you will run into a super friendly person that wants to hang out, do parties, and BBQs.
Get to know your neighbors... that's always been our best and easiest option... amazing to me how many people do not know their neighbors...
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