How can I Explain this to My Parents? (female, male, adults)
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Lately, my parents have been asking more questions about my lack of dating and pursuing romantic relationships. Because I'm at an age where it's considered time to settle down, they're getting quite suspicious. I have tried to explain to them that it wasn't something that I'm interested in, but they have a hard time understanding it and claim that there must be some underlying reason for me not wanting to "find love".
They thought that I might be in the closet or depressed. None of it's true, but they are not taking my answers at face value. I'm not sure how get them off my back. Any advice?
Tell them, "Mom Dad I'm bisexual and I'm looking for a man and a woman and that if you think finding a good man is hard to find finding a good woman and a good man who are both bisexual and like each other and like me and the love is good and the life is better is even harder to find."
[say that quickly with no pauses and let their heads spin on that one]
Lately, my parents have been asking more questions about my lack of dating and pursuing romantic relationships. Because I'm at an age where it's considered time to settle down, they're getting quite suspicious. I have tried to explain to them that it wasn't something that I'm interested in, but they have a hard time understanding it and claim that there must be some underlying reason for me not wanting to "find love".
They thought that I might be in the closet or depressed. None of it's true, but they are not taking my answers at face value. I'm not sure how get them off my back. Any advice?
It sounds like you've tried to explain yourself to them but they still persist. If your goal is to get them to stop asking questions, I'm not sure what more you can do. You can't "make" people accept something they refuse to accept. I think your only choice is to express to them how much it bothers you that they won't accept your lifestyle choices. Try to convince them that you are very happy and content, and not to worry, you aren't going to jump off a bridge. If they still persist with comments and questions and it's making your life miserable, that might be the time you finally decide to get a place of your own. At least then, you only need to hear it on holidays.
I think what many of the people posting here are missing is the fact that your situation is no different than everyone esle's. There's the daughter who married a guy her parents hate. There's the son who spoils his kids. Sons who don't work enough, daughters who work too much. There are a billion things parents gripe about when it comes to their adult children. How to stop that is the million dollar question. Most of us just deal with it because we've learned that our parents are never going to stop passing judgment on our choices. It's just what parents do.
If you have the means to support yourself, then you really should get your own place and prove to yourself that you can be self sufficient. Someday you are going to be on your own. I have the feeling that you may not be giving us the whole story. Maybe your parents need financial help from you. If your parents don't have a good marriage, maybe you're staying to protect someone. We don't all of the circumstances as to why you're there.
You may need to hear what some of these people say. You also need to flip the finger to the ones who are calling you names. They have no right yo judge you. You came here for help and hopefully you'll be able to get some.
I'm the loser parent whose 34 y/o is living with me. He was out on his own for a while. He lost his job and asked to come back home and I said yes. Thank God! He paid 1/3 of everything, got a job and went back to school to finish getting his Bachelors. I broke up with my fiance and he moved out. My son paid 1/2 of everything.
My days of child rearing have been long gone. I don't cook, clean or pic up after him. I love him more than anything in the world, but my days of being a Susie homemaker are done. He's going blind and may only have 6 years of sight before he's totally blind. He can't see at night and he still works. He worked 82 hours last week. He went back for his Masters and can't find a job in his field. He's a Paramedic working as an overqualified EMT making 13/hr with no benefits. He's not a drunk or a drug addict. We have a very good relationship and we do have our problems now & then.
I'm on disability and he will eventually need to help take care of me. My 21 y/o son died 5 years ago. I can only pray that I die before this son.
Rockrowdy, if you're able to support yourself, please take some of this advice from the posters as there are many good points here.
Please don't let the "haters" scare you away. They're such a big part of life today. I wish you nothing but the best.
Have you wrapped your life around your parents'? Maybe they are worried that you are so intertwined with them that you will be lost without them when they are gone. I'm guessing that being with your parents satisfy many needs like companionship so you don't feel a need to seek it from outside relationships.
I would be very, very concerned if my child was so intertwined in our lives that she felt no need for others outside of us. I would be concerned about her being codependent on us. Perhaps moving out (but close enough that you can help them with the house) would be wise.
Have you wrapped your life around your parents'? Maybe they are worried that you are so intertwined with them that you will be lost without them when they are gone. I'm guessing that being with your parents satisfy many needs like companionship so you don't feel a need to seek it from outside relationships.
I would be very, very concerned if my child was so intertwined in our lives that she felt no need for others outside of us. I would be concerned about her being codependent on us. Perhaps moving out (but close enough that you can help them with the house) would be wise.
This may be their concern.
Frankly, I suspect that there is a lot "more to the story".
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