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The intent of this thread is to be of a positive nature.
I'd like to see how many people love & respected their parents and what your age is.
Moderator cut: delete
I'm 57. I was raised by a loving stay at home Mom and my Dad worked in the Steel Mill. We were raised to respect, obey, go to church and love one another. We were spanked only on our butts and I remember jokingly telling my Mom to shut up and she slapped my face at age 15. I'm not emotionally scarred from that. I was raised to put myself in the other persons shoes and to "Do Unto Others". I was raised to think before I speak and that there are consequences for bad behavior.
Thank you in advance
Last edited by Miss Blue; 03-11-2015 at 09:46 AM..
My dad was a guy everyone liked. Even 20+ years after his death people still tell me what a great guy he was. I wrote him a long letter when he was in the hospital after cancer surgery & found out later that his nurse read it to him because with all of the drugs he could not see well enough to read. In the letter I told him I loved him but more importantly that he was the kind of person that if I was not related I would want to be his friend. He was an inspiration, truthful, loyal and fair. Knowing that one day I will see him again after I pass away makes my own death in the future easier to bear. I am 62.
My dad was a guy everyone liked. Even 20+ years after his death people still tell me what a great guy he was. I wrote him a long letter when he was in the hospital after cancer surgery & found out later that his nurse read it to him because with all of the drugs he could not see well enough to read. In the letter I told him I loved him but more importantly that he was the kind of person that if I was not related I would want to be his friend. He was an inspiration, truthful, loyal and fair. Knowing that one day I will see him again after I pass away makes my own death in the future easier to bear. I am 62.
It's so nice to see your love and respect for your Dad. When I think of mine, I feel love and it seems you do also.
My Mom died of cancer and I was able to quit my job because I wanted to spend as much of her last year with her as I could. For those of us who have loved & lost someone close to a terminal disease, I think most of us make sure we say everything we want to say to them and let them know how much they're loved. I'm sure your Dad was so touched and proud of you. I'm sure your letter let him know of the deep love and admiration that you had for him and you probably left no loving words unsaid.
I was beginning to wonder if I was in the minority. We're close in age and I was also wondering if this is something to do with our age group.
I had a good childhood and a good upbringing, and I consider myself lucky to have had the parents that I had. Unfortunately, things turned south with my mother; but that happened after I reached adulthood and did not affect my childhood.
My dad and I had always been very close and remained that way right up until the day he died. Yet though I loved him dearly, for some reason ours was not a household in which "I love you" was verbally stated with any regularity. But I was able to be with him the day before he passed away, and as I could sense what was about to happen, I said those words to him. He was barely able to speak, but I could see in his eyes how much it meant to him to hear me say it.
I love my dad a lot because he always believed & encouraged me to pursue my education. He invested in everything he had in my studies. He is very protective about me but when I said I wanted to pursue higher studies in a different country he let me go which was his toughest decision. I wont lie that I don't have issues with my parents & I have even started some threads here about them. Nevertheless, I think I am among the few fortunate ones to have been blessed with good parents. They still pray for me & miss me a lot. I try to support them financially which is the least I can do since they already invested everything in me so this is my pay back. We have our ups & downs but I do love them deeply. I don't visit or talk much with them because I think we have grown apart over the years & I figured we need to keep our conversations formal to avoid getting into fights about personal issues. I feel guilty about it sometimes but when I see people abusing their elderly parents who live with them or close to them, I think its better if I stay away & remain polite with them. They are not perfect but they worked very hard to provide for the family & made education a top priority for the kids. That's the best investment a parent can do in a kid's future. I am from India where girls are considered a burden (not all families but its pretty common), treated poorly compared to a son & married off at a young age so living in that society & focusing on a girl's education instead of her marriage needs a lot of courage & for that, I salute them.
I had a good childhood and a good upbringing, and I consider myself lucky to have had the parents that I had. Unfortunately, things turned south with my mother; but that happened after I reached adulthood and did not affect my childhood.
My dad and I had always been very close and remained that way right up until the day he died. Yet though I loved him dearly, for some reason ours was not a household in which "I love you" was verbally stated with any regularity. But I was able to be with him the day before he passed away, and as I could sense what was about to happen, I said those words to him. He was barely able to speak, but I could see in his eyes how much it meant to him to hear me say it.
I was 41 when my dad died; I'm 48 now.
I'm so happy that you had a good childhood and a good relationship with your Dad. Some households are like that in not verbally expressing the "I love you". I think it's much more common today. The memory of the look in his eyes will be in your heart forever and I bet it's comforting to you.
The day before my Dad died (he was 84), he shouldn't have been driving but he snuck over to see me and my boys. hahaha He ended up staying for dinner and wouldn't drive at night. My Ex and I drove him home and I drove his car. I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight. He said, "I love you C" and I returned those words. He never used them and it was like he gave me a million bucks!
My sis called the next day because she found him dead. I felt honored to have heard those words from him and to have spent his last day on earth with him.
It's so very nice to read positive things about parents.
[quote=theluckygal;38744425]I love my dad a lot because he always believed & encouraged me to pursue my education. He invested in everything he had in my studies. He is very protective about me but when I said I wanted to pursue higher studies in a different country he let me go which was his toughest decision. I wont lie that I don't have issues with my parents & I have even started some threads here about them. Nevertheless, I think I am among the few fortunate ones to have been blessed with good parents. They still pray for me & miss me a lot. I try to support them financially which is the least I can do since they already invested everything in me so this is my pay back. We have our ups & downs but I do love them deeply. I don't visit or talk much with them because I think we have grown apart over the years & I figured we need to keep our conversations formal to avoid getting into fights about personal issues. I feel guilty about it sometimes but when I see people abusing their elderly parents who live with them or close to them, I think its better if I stay away & remain polite with them. They are not perfect but they worked very hard to provide for the family & made education a top priority for the kids. That's the best investment a parent can do in a kid's future. I am from India where girls are considered a burden (not all families but its pretty common), treated poorly compared to a son & married off at a young age so living in that society & focusing on a girl's education instead of her marriage needs a lot of courage & for that, I salute them.[/quote
OMG.... How old are you?
What a beautiful story. You are amazing with how you've handled your life and your parents. Kudos to you! I'm sure they're proud of you. I know I would be.
I am wondering if it is part of India's culture to respect the older generation.
I watched a documentary a long time ago about girls/women in India's culture and I may have to try to find it again to watch.
You are a loving daughter with much gratitude to your parents. You have a good heart.
You're so wise in your choice of realizing their imperfections/yet saluting them for what they did for you.
I don't know you, but I admire how you are handling the situation you describe. We need more people like you!
It's so nice to see your love and respect for your Dad. When I think of mine, I feel love and it seems you do also.
My Mom died of cancer and I was able to quit my job because I wanted to spend as much of her last year with her as I could. For those of us who have loved & lost someone close to a terminal disease, I think most of us make sure we say everything we want to say to them and let them know how much they're loved. I'm sure your Dad was so touched and proud of you. I'm sure your letter let him know of the deep love and admiration that you had for him and you probably left no loving words unsaid.
I was beginning to wonder if I was in the minority. We're close in age and I was also wondering if this is something to do with our age group.
My Mom also died of cancer (brain cancer) We were never as close as I was with my dad and I have always regretted that we weren't. My dad always hoped my mom & I would make peace with each other and when he seemed to be lingering I made a promise to him that I would take care of mom for him. He died the next day. We built an in-law quarters for my mom in our back yard & put everything in place while she was on a cruise with her girlfriend....She cried when she came home and saw it....20 years after my dad died my mom got brain cancer last January 2014... I also stopped working when my mom was diagnosed. We got 24/7 nursing care for her, she slept a lot but anytime she woke up I instructed the nurses to call me so I could be with her. In the final weeks I fed her every day....She ate so slow it took 2 hours to feed her and get her to swallow and then it was time for the next meal. We exchanged I love you-s and she told me she was really enjoying that time with me. It was the first time in my life she ever let me take care of her. She never had pain and even though she could talk less and less she was able to understand us and know us right up til the end...She met my dad at a dance and the last thing I said to her was "It is a beautiful sunny day outside, don't be afraid, we are right here with you and dad is waiting just on the other side to take you home. He has been waiting to dance with you for 20 years, go to him and know we will miss you"......She died 1 hour later with my brother and I on either side of her holding her hands...She was looking up at the ceiling in the corner of the room and her face looked like she was seeing Disneyland for the first time....She died with that look on her face....I miss them both. The first year anniversary of her death is 12 days from today on March 21st...I had my dad exhumed and we had them both cremated and they are now in a beautiful urn on my fireplace hearth.
I don't know what made you think of posting this thread but it has been very cathartic to tell my story. Thank you so much for the opportunity....
I feel lucky and blessed to have parents who:
--never sexually abused me
--never physically abused me
--never became substance abusers
--never divorced
--never fought, beyond an ordinary argument
--are still alive
All that right there puts my experience far above most other people, and I'm grateful.
Then in addition to that, I'm grateful that:
--they taught me manners
--they taught me the value of hard work
--they taught me that who you associate with says something about you
--they taught me to be independent
--they role-modeled being calm, composed, not overly-emotional, so that I'm not a person of emotional extremes
Then on tip of that, I'm grateful that they both overcame poor examples of parenting that they experienced. Neither of my parents had their biological fathers while growing up. My Dad's father abandoned them, and though my paternal grandmom was great, she had to work a lot when he was a kid, and have relatives babysit him. Then she married my (step)grandfather who was a wonderful Dad to my Dad. My mom's father also abandoned his family, and her mother also worked a lot, and had little time for her children even when she was not working, choosing the local bar after work over going home to her kids. When I think about that, any imperfections my parents have displayed are nothing.
My Mom also died of cancer (brain cancer) We were never as close as I was with my dad and I have always regretted that we weren't. My dad always hoped my mom & I would make peace with each other and when he seemed to be lingering I made a promise to him that I would take care of mom for him. He died the next day. We built an in-law quarters for my mom in our back yard & put everything in place while she was on a cruise with her girlfriend....She cried when she came home and saw it....20 years after my dad died my mom got brain cancer last January 2014... I also stopped working when my mom was diagnosed. We got 24/7 nursing care for her, she slept a lot but anytime she woke up I instructed the nurses to call me so I could be with her. In the final weeks I fed her every day....She ate so slow it took 2 hours to feed her and get her to swallow and then it was time for the next meal. We exchanged I love you-s and she told me she was really enjoying that time with me. It was the first time in my life she ever let me take care of her. She never had pain and even though she could talk less and less she was able to understand us and know us right up til the end...She met my dad at a dance and the last thing I said to her was "It is a beautiful sunny day outside, don't be afraid, we are right here with you and dad is waiting just on the other side to take you home. He has been waiting to dance with you for 20 years, go to him and know we will miss you"......She died 1 hour later with my brother and I on either side of her holding her hands...She was looking up at the ceiling in the corner of the room and her face looked like she was seeing Disneyland for the first time....She died with that look on her face....I miss them both. The first year anniversary of her death is 12 days from today on March 21st...I had my dad exhumed and we had them both cremated and they are now in a beautiful urn on my fireplace hearth.
I don't know what made you think of posting this thread but it has been very cathartic to tell my story. Thank you so much for the opportunity....
Wow.... What a wonderful way for your Mom to end her life with you taking care of her. My heart is touched. I have goosebumps! What a wonderful picture to keep in your heart of her happiness as she passed. I'm sure your Dad is smiling down on you and your Mom is too.
My Mom had brain cancer too. She was a real jokester and everybody loved being around her. She had so much love for us. I've never met anyone to this day that I admire and respect as much as I did her. She would fix the TV's, she'd get under the car, hahaha. After they took the tumor out, she lost her peripheral vision and she walked and talked like she was drunk. I was pregnant and went to the hospital to see her. I walked into her room and she had company. She said to them in her slurred speech, "Awwwwww look at my pretty little girl, she looks so sweet and innocent. But you know the SOB isn't! OMG we laughed all day and I can still see and hear her. That was 25 years ago.
I've only been on this forum for about a month. I came here for help with a driveway problem and was totally blown away by all of the nice people who gave me suggestions and encouragement to help solve my problem. I took their advice and then started reading all of these other forums on parenting, psychology, relationship and just anything I'm interested in.
I literally got sick over "Parent Bashing" on different forums. According to some of these boards, I'm a terrible parent, a doormat and a narcissist. Everybody seems to blame parents for everything today and it literally disgusts me. There are bad parents out there that do cause a lot of people to be screwed up in life. Out of 7 kids, my 1 brother is a narcissist and I obviously ranted on the board that my parents were not to blame for my brother being a jerk. It was obviously a scholarly discussion not open to real life dealings with a narcissist. The bashing of my having an adult son living at home is common.
I just got tired of reading all of the negatives about parents and wondered how many people had good parents. I don't blame my parents for anything that goes wrong in my life. I wanted to see if I was in the minority by having loving parents.
I wanted to hear from other people about their good parents.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know this is a rough time for you and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you so much for your wonderful story!
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