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I feel sorry for anyone who decides against telling a joke because they're in constant fear of disrespecting someone they don't even know. Seems like a very dull existence.
I guess it depends on how deliberate one is being. Usually when I am making light of a serious matter, it's in a fast-paced social environment where I am really not paying much attention to the things I say. In a more intimate conversation, I can imagine a sudden offensive joke seeming more odd. Humor has strength in numbers (of people).
That makes your brand of humor more of a mob rule. That's NOT a good thing.
Humor has it's strength from being actually funny.
Illustrative? Not accurate? Did you say it or not?
When I say it, I know 100% that who I am with will find it funny. Here on this site, I was not posting it to try to be funny, but to be illustrative. Context.
OP, I'm not in agreement with the rest of the posters who are saying you can NEVER joke about such things. My stance is that our minds can find and point out humor in any situation, but you need to know your audience.
One little joke I sometimes make, but only with people who know me well and share my humor is: If I'm talking about something that's terrible to go through, but time-limited, like a baby shower or a visit to the DMV, I might make a comment like "You just have to grit your teeth and tell yourself it'll be over soon. You know, like date rape."
Now to 99% of people that's completely offensive, but to a small percentage of people, that is pretty funny.
I also know a guy who is really funny, and for him no topic is off limits. He had me cracking up once in his rant about pedophiles. It was something about how much it would suck to be a pedophile, because you'd have to pretend to like Dora the Explorer, and Bob the Builder, and it would be such a pain to have to memorize all the Power Rangers, etc, just to make conversation with someone you're interested in. I know it doesn't sound funny the way I'm saying it, but this guy knew his audience well (we all engage in dark humor) and it was really funny.
So OP, just be aware of your audience.
You think these things are funny? That truly shows the human you are.
OP, you've been attacked for expressing an opinion that wasn't in line with group-think. In their minds you have actually committed the crime already just by thinking it. I'm sorry this happened to you. You were obviously talking with immature people whose minds have closed at a young age.
Most mature adults are willing to examine a proposal such as you made and calmly explore the various ways you may be correct and the various ways you may be in error. That's called "critical thinking." In the process we both may learn something about what each other is actually saying and grow in understanding of each other rather than jump to conclusions. I suspect that without asking you questions they judged without understanding exactly what you meant.
We don't encourage much deviation from the party line anymore in this culture. There are definitely people who make grim jokes and they do it for mental health purposes. Among them are emergency room staff, soldiers, social workers, law enforcement, lawyers. These are people who are dedicated to service the people and, as such, are subjected to seeing things most are sheltered from all of their lives.
It's incredibly difficult to live a healthy life with the knowledge that there are monsters among us. And one of the ways these community servants do it is to privately reduce the threat to something laughable. Their jokes would shock your sheltered conversationalists, but it wouldn't mean that the people who were making them were bad people.
I see nothing amiss in what you did. The key is discretion. You have to be able to figure out who you are talking to and what their tendencies are. A patient is never going to hear a grim joke at the hospital (one hopes) but some of it behind doors serves a good purpose.
You were blindsided here. I hope it doesn't silence you from asking the questions and proposing alternative viewpoints.
OP, I sure took the spotlight (dogpile) off you, didn't I?
The responses make my thread look horribly cruel. It almost made me regret posting it. But then I looked at my first post and realized how harmless it was.
Now you're getting people on your case just because you are not 100% against what I am saying.
I saw Joan Rivers tell a deaf joke. A man in the audience started yelling that his son was deaf. She told him off and the audience seemed to agree with her.
Larry the Cable Guy impersonating the mentally challenged bag boys in supermarkets. Always gets lots of laughs. Don Rickles is never PC. Wasn't it Cheech and Chong and the "hey little girl want some candy?". Many examples over the years. For incest you have The Aristocrats which many main stream comedians have done. Helen Keller jokes, Michael Jackson jokes, NASA jokes after Challenger "stands for need another seven astronauts". All of the "in like Flynn" jokes of the past were about statutory rape. I saw a comedian do WTC jokes not long after the attack. People laughed.
There has always been comedy about tragedy. Always will be. I hope you people never watch a roast or see most comedians live, because you will be very offended.
This morning, I was talking to a group of people I barely knew. Somehow the topic of rape came up. They were saying that rape is one of the subjects you could never tell a joke about. I disagreed saying that you can really joke about anything. Let's just say these people overreacted. They raised their voices to unimaginable levels and started the insults..Moderator cut: delete I just stated my opinion. I guess they found it personally offensive, even though they had no experience with rape. Do you think this was an appropriate reaction to my comment? I think not. I don't think I have ever been this terrified of a group of people for a long while. I found it scarier because it seemed so uncalled for. I know rape is a sensitive issue, but this really rubbed me the wrong way.
Heh. I just had this conversation this week with a friend.
I don't agree that people aren't offended by murder jokes, I can't even say I've heard a joke about murder. But I am curious why people do joke about rape & why some people think it's ok.
I don't believe any other crime is joked about in a similar way.
And you don't know if they have any experience with rape.
The answer is, crime against another human is not amusing.
Heh. I just had this conversation this week with a friend.
I don't agree that people aren't offended by murder jokes, I can't even say I've heard a joke about murder. But I am curious why people do joke about rape & why some people think it's ok.
I don't believe any other crime is joked about in a similar way.
And you don't know if they have any experience with rape.
The answer is, crime against another human is not amusing.
I think you've got a good point. What is the intention of the person telling the joke? Is it to bring some lightness to an impossibly hopeless situation or is it to make fun of an unfortunate person?
That would be the difference.
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