Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-16-2015, 07:41 PM
 
3,070 posts, read 5,214,787 times
Reputation: 6578

Advertisements

Yes.

My sister was visiting and brought a friend. Her friend was walking funny when I picked them up at the airport. The next day, she was incredibly slow at the mall (I thought she was just out-of-shape). By the 3rd day, my sister was begging me to drive her friend to the ER at midnight as her giant baseball-sized leg abcess was causing septic shock.

So, I left my two babies at home (first night out without them was hardly the vacation I hoped) and spent four hours overnight translating for the twit. Then back & forth to wound care the next day.

She still wouldn't leave!!! I called her mother and told her to send tickets. Called the taxi myself, and didn't speak to her as she left. Unbelievable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-16-2015, 07:49 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,292,014 times
Reputation: 43047
I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that it was a mere cultural difference. I work with Europeans quite frequently and I have never encountered this kind of rudeness. In fact, I'd say the Europeans I've worked with are nothing but gracious, without a hint of arrogance. And my two friends who have either lived in Italy or have many relatives still in Italy have never mentioned encountering anything like this. They both traveled the country extensively and the one with family there still is VERY tuned in to other people's manners and has a very low tolerance threshold for that kind of obnoxiousness.

I really think this guy was just a big jerk.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-16-2015, 08:20 PM
 
1,680 posts, read 1,785,094 times
Reputation: 1342
I believe this is a case of both poor behavior (especially for a professional) and cultural.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 05:03 AM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,869 posts, read 16,258,462 times
Reputation: 29229
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that it was a mere cultural difference. I work with Europeans quite frequently and I have never encountered this kind of rudeness. In fact, I'd say the Europeans I've worked with are nothing but gracious, without a hint of arrogance. And my two friends who have either lived in Italy or have many relatives still in Italy have never mentioned encountering anything like this. They both traveled the country extensively and the one with family there still is VERY tuned in to other people's manners and has a very low tolerance threshold for that kind of obnoxiousness.

I really think this guy was just a big jerk.
I concur. I know a lot of Europeans and they're not all like that. When I worked for an international engineering company we often had "exchange engineers" from some of our overseas branches so they could get a taste of what working at U.S. headquarters was like.

I vividly remember three gentlemen from Italy who spent six months with us. I was in charge of the company's food collection for the area's food bank that we held every year before Thanksgiving. The Italian guys asked what was going on in the lobby and I explained it. To my surprise they went out on their lunch hour and came back with shopping bags full of the most beautiful food. Not the peanut butter and cans of tuna most of us were donating. They brought boxes of the most expensive pasta, jars of preserved peppers and artichokes, dried cheeses, anchovies, Belgian chocolate bars, Toblerone ... the kind of things they were eating in their apartment. It was so unexpected and over the top, I got teary. I told them it was too much and they should keep some of it. Oh, no, they said, it was the least they could do for their American hosts who were being so kind to them.

So I'd say the OP's insufferable boor was an exception to the usually generous and friendly Italians I've met.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 05:18 AM
 
21 posts, read 27,870 times
Reputation: 38
You bethcha!!!

My former mother in law ( while she was a former in law) .

She wanted to visit me and her grandkids ( ok really the grandkids) and agreed no problem. Well during this time of my life we had moved into a studio apt on the water in Coronado Island/San Diego and my mom was very ill and dying in addition to having just met someone 4 months prior (never dated while raising my kids) .
She shows up goes shopping all day , out to eat ( doesn't bring me anything back while I am working my buns off) sits her fat @#$ down the rest of the time, doesn't clean up then asked me whats for dinner when I would get home!!!!
After 1 week I told her she needed to go back to Texas asap!

To understand she didn't come to see me , she just wanted a break from her life in Texas. No one needs that kinda guest around to drag you down.
Everyday the house was a mess and she would complain because I didn't have the big place with lots of room anymore. Ooops I thought she cam to see me, my mistake. =}


BTW yes they will get mad, but think of the drama with them. Life does get easier when one can say NO!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Honolulu/DMV Area/NYC
30,508 posts, read 17,972,459 times
Reputation: 34243
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyScreenName View Post
I just had 5 days of hell with an insufferable, high-brow, snob.

18 years ago I lived with his family as an exchange student in Italy and attempted to repay him on a recent visit. Prior to his arrival, I attempted to plan an itinerary, offering to drive him from Denver to Las Vegas/LA. He said that Las Vegas is too fake for him and LA has no appeal. He said, "that's not what I want to experience on my vacation." Ok, fine. I asked what specifically he *did* want to see; never answering me.
That would have set off red flags for me immediately, especially as the non-answer was coming from someone I didn't know well.

In terms of asking people to leave, it would probably take a lot more than that for me to ask my guest to leave early, though I would've told him to check his attitude before (in as nice a way as possible). If he wanted to leave on his own after I mentioned his attitude, that's on him. But a guest would have to be a great deal more rude or threaten my physical safety for me to make a guest leave the comfort of my home. Now, a casual guest who isn't relying on me for a bed I'd have made leave for much less, but that's a different story!

Ultimately, I think he's someone who you won't be dealing with in the future. You live and learn.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,664,222 times
Reputation: 3523
This guy sounds really rude and spoiled. Doesn't sound like he was raised properly, something went wrong with how he turned out. I'm sure his parents are lovely people, it sounds like it was a good experience when you stayed at their home as a student.

It's unfortunate when something like this happens. It's almost like it would have been better to say something like look, "You seem really miserable being with us, I think it would be best if you just stayed in a hotel for the remainder of your visit and we'll pay for it". Most likely an expense you wouldn't want to have, but at least you wouldn't have to deal with his negative attitude and would be able to have a nice time with your family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 07:26 AM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,828,625 times
Reputation: 3171
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
LOL. The guy sounds like great mocking material. I would have been all over that. I can't believe you had him in your clutches for all those days and didn't mock him. Oh man, I would have had so much fun.
I agree. That's what I would have done. I have had my share of unwanted guests but not so annoying like this one. One of my fellow-interns stayed with me for a week because she had an early shift that week & she stayed far from work so she didn't want to drive at that hour. She kept complaining about my apartment being in the basement, the temp I set for the apt, the food, lack of furniture....everything. I finally told her to find another place if she wasn't comfortable. That shut her up. She was like this with everyone so I didn't think much about it. She would be at the hr office every other week complaining about some colleague. We were just interns back then & she was acting all authoritarian like she owned the place. So some people are like that & you should make them realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

I had a cousin & her husband visit us from overseas. She had never been to usa & didn't know how everything worked around her. Her husband was totally in charge of the trip & they were visiting different places, including my home. They hadn't planned their itinerary as most of their trips were by road. She was planning to stay with me for atleast a week while her husband visited his relatives so I made the arrangements & told my team I will be on vacation so they rescheduled some meetings & project work for me. She stayed with me for just 2 days & during that time we took them out for dinner. Her husband ordered a lot from the menu & a variety of drinks. It was an expensive restaurant so we were out few hundred dollars. We took them to the mall to buy them a gift & he picked an expensive blazer. We were out another few hundred dollars. They left after 2days & wanted me to be on standby to visit them when they were in a neighboring state so that I can show them around & my cousin could come back & stay with me for a week or 2. I said I could drive my cousin back to stay with me but I wont be able to show them around where they were staying as I hardly knew the area. I prepared for the trip to pick her up & at the last minute they changed plans. I canceled my trip, hotel reservations & the next day my cousin called me to say they changed their mind again & she wanted me to pick her up. I lost it & said this is not how it works in the usa. We have to plan everything in advance & she needs to realize that we cannot drop everything & run to her. Also, they were attending a wedding on her husband's side & had sent me the invite by email before coming here. After they came here they said they need to check with the family to see if they can accommodate us. So why invite us in the first place? I rejected their invitation as soon as I heard that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Huntsville
6,009 posts, read 6,612,743 times
Reputation: 7041
Yes. My stepmother. She is very difficult to get along with. During the Iron Bowl year before last she came up with my dad for the weekend and we happened to be having a get together for the game. She was pulling for the other team (as were some of our other friends) but she got extremely obnoxious when our team lost and began ridiculing US (not the team). She started saying only losers picked losing teams, that we were raising our two sons to pick losers, etc...

Eventually after my house guests (even those pulling for her team) got uncomfortable about how rude she was being I told her she needed to find a hotel. Dad stayed with us and I booked her a hotel down the road that she paid for. I politely advised her that in our home she is our guest, and while we show her respect in my father's house, she can do the same in mine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2015, 08:42 AM
 
194 posts, read 220,690 times
Reputation: 425
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyScreenName View Post

What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever asked someone to leave? Did I even owe him this stay being he was a grown man and no longer a student? I'm still rattled from this entire experience even though he left yesterday. UGGGG!!!
Yes when she acted disrespectful and as if she were better than us low southerners after we housed her, fed her and took her to various touristy sites. I told her to call the airline and book an earlier flight. I also told her to call a taxi b/c I wasn't bringing her. She left and we never talked again. You will not disrespect my home and family when I'm being hospitable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top