Have you ever asked a house guest to leave? (boyfriend, father, husband)
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I just had 5 days of hell with an insufferable, high-brow, snob.
18 years ago I lived with his family as an exchange student in Italy and attempted to repay him on a recent visit. Prior to his arrival, I attempted to plan an itinerary, offering to drive him from Denver to Las Vegas/LA. He said that Las Vegas is too fake for him and LA has no appeal. He said, "that's not what I want to experience on my vacation." Ok, fine. I asked what specifically he *did* want to see; never answering me.
When he arrived he asked if I would drive him from Denver to Salt Lake City?!! I explained that is very far and because he changed his travel plans from April to March, I'm unable to take him anywhere by car. I suggested he rent a car to see the states, since he's on extended holiday. He did not want to do this.
He also tried to invite himself along on my business trip to Phoenix in a few days. I'm a female and did not feel comfortable with this situation, nor would I have the resources to host him in AZ. He didn't like being told no and this was just the beginning of a horrible, arrogant, smug attitude he carried with him on his visit.
My new apartment will be ready in 2 months, so I'm temporarily staying with my mom and she was fine with his stay. My sister and her boyfriend flew into town to pick up her new car and my dad was also visiting from out of town. It was an ironic coincidence everyone was there for Italian guys visit. During this time my family treated everyone out to eat twice, spending an entire day in the city of Denver and up in the mountains: Red Rocks, Morrison, Evergreen, Conifer, Evergreen Lake, Little Bear, ect.
During this time Italian guy incessantly argued with my sister's boyfriend over mathematics, the age of rock formations and various unimportant nonsense. He has his PhD in Computer Science and my sis's bf has his Masters in Engineering. My sis's bf is a great guy and a non-egotistical bone in his body.
Italian guy needed to prove his appendage was the biggest, acting like an annoying and offensive know-it-all. He also whined of IBS during his visit, so I offered him probiotics, ginger pills/gum and digestive enzymes. (I'm a certified nutritionist.) He said that what I suggested is "no good" and "won't work for him."
He also claimed to be immune to elevation sickness and that he knew what was best for his body and this was his IBS. (I've had many visitors here in Denver and most everyone gets sick from altitude the first few days.) But again, WHATEVER DUDE!
One night my mom came by the study and offered him a drink and dessert. He didn't even look away from the computer screen, saying "no, I can feed myself" and waving his hand away from her to go away??!!!!
Needless to say by the end of his visit no one wanted to be around him and I was STUCK. His last night I was utterly exhausted from driving in the mountains and he harped on me to take him brewery hopping that night. I told him I was tired and needed to rest for an hour.
After an hour was up, he started repeatedly asking when we were going to leave? So, trying to be a good guest, I muster up strength and agree to take him to a local brewery. On our way in the car he said, "I'll have to review the menu to see if it suits me. If not, you'll have to find another place." AAARRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Mr. Insufferable currently lives in London, so to lighten the tone, I jokingly talk with a British accent and he sneered at me that no one in London talks like that and he should know because he has a British accent??!!!! WTF?? I said, "you have no traces of any British accent and you just admitted you don't have British friends in your social circle, so how would you know what you're talking about?! Let's remember I've been to London too, and do have British friends we can Skype later!"
He snickered and proceeded to go on and on....I finally lost my cool during the middle of his second beer (I don't drink and wasn't eating) when he claimed to know better than scientists that there's no such thing as chemical imbalances in the brain and it's all an environmental issue where people are raised to determine behavior. After 4 days of this I lost my cool, told him he may think he knows everything but he has NO IDEA what he's talking about, I'm exhausted and I'll wait for him in the car, the night is OVER! I politely smiled for 4 days holding it all in until I snapped.
The ride home was awkward as was the next day. My mom even explained to him that my sister and her b/f were there to visit our family, they didn't travel to hang out with him (he couldn't understand why they didn't want to go out with us the night before). He said, "I don't care! It was my last night here!"
I was soooo happy on the drive to the airport, although he continued on and on about what diet my sick father should be eating and other topics he had no business butting into.
What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever asked someone to leave? Did I even owe him this stay being he was a grown man and no longer a student? I'm still rattled from this entire experience even though he left yesterday. UGGGG!!!
Years ago, my husband asked one of my former classmates to leave because she was offending a lot of guests with her disgusting stories and because she used his bathroom and left a nasty unflushed mess. We never invited her over again.
Years ago, my husband asked one of my former classmates to leave because she was offending a lot of guests with her disgusting stories and because she used his bathroom and left a nasty unflushed mess. We never invited her over again.
That's pretty gross too. This guy didn't shower for his entire visit! GROSS!
LOL. The guy sounds like great mocking material. I would have been all over that. I can't believe you had him in your clutches for all those days and didn't mock him. Oh man, I would have had so much fun.
He would've been out the door after the second time he was condescending to me. I don't give a damn what his parents did for you 18 years ago, they sure didn't raise him to be a nice person. I'd have called him a cab and shut & locked the door behind him.
I would have let him know that I am BUSY and unexpected issues arised at work/school and I need to be there 10 hours/per day and he needs to entertain himself.
Years ago, my ex had a college buddy ride his bike from New Jersey to California. We offered to let him stay with us for a week or so, until he was rested enough to go back home.
He's already been staying with us for 3 weeks, when I came home from work to find he'd purchased a month's worth of groceries, I figured he was in for the long haul, and told my ex he needed to go. He went.
Years ago, my ex had a college buddy ride his bike from New Jersey to California. We offered to let him stay with us for a week or so, until he was rested enough to go back home.
He's already been staying with us for 3 weeks, when I came home from work to find he'd purchased a month's worth of groceries, I figured he was in for the long haul, and told my ex he needed to go. He went.
I'm wondering if some of his behavior is cultural? Not making excuses at all for him but just wondering. I am part Italian and my Uncle was making a trip to see Italian family in the town our family originated from. I was shocked to hear some of the stuff they said to my Uncle. They had a list of American products that they wanted him to bring over for them. It wasn't just a few things, it was like a grocery list of all kinds of things. My Uncle was so happy to meet them all that he brought most of the stuff. he said they we very welcoming but made comments about family in America that he found off putting. He was confused but thought it cultural.
Sorry the experience of hosting this man was unpleasant. Maybe you should have gotten to know him a little before deciding if you wanted to invite him? I know he was rude and selfish at times but I wonder if some of the problems were just cultural differences in behavior and you were misunderstanding it?
I would have tried to make the best of it and been as polite as I could, shown him all the hospitality I could, and then never invited him back again. Besides being a snob to you and a little obnoxious, I do not see any really awful things that he did or said to anyone. Is it possible you were taking it all too seriously? I think the real problem is you were disappointed he did not turn out to be the person you were expecting, and things did not go the way you planned because he had other ideas of what he wanted to do . At least you were able to help him. And I hope he had fun so you were able to return the favor his family did for you . Mission accomplished.
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