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Old 03-26-2015, 12:50 AM
 
756 posts, read 831,357 times
Reputation: 886

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Quote:
Originally Posted by green papaya View Post
I hate being interrogated by Hair stylists / barbershops

I made the mistake of answering his nosey questions about my life and he told everybody

pretty soon people I didnt even know knew about my personal matters because the stupid barbershop man gossiped and told all his customers with his small talk.
And Dentists!
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Old 03-26-2015, 01:49 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
30,380 posts, read 16,106,387 times
Reputation: 44181
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
I guess some of us are just friendlier than others,personally, I enjoy talking with others. I think it is a result of this new technological age, with texting, tweets, etc..............people have forgotten how to actually communicate face to face these days.

I've sat in the lunchroom with 3 other people and everyone had their noses buried into their damn cell phones.........it was a very boring lunch.

Nope, I love talking with other people, that is how you learn about so many diverse subjects.

Don


You've got a point.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:50 AM
 
2,135 posts, read 5,481,388 times
Reputation: 3146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theropod View Post
You people are so antisocial.
I love small talks. And I'm a rather shy person. It boosts your self-esteem and even charisma.
Thank you! Bunch of freaking antisocial psychos on here sometimes. Sorry about your hangups brah, I am gonna say hi!
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Old 03-26-2015, 04:39 AM
 
2,163 posts, read 1,544,104 times
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I hate small talk--pointless, trivial conversation--with a passion. I simply don't entertain it at all, and don't care if it comes off as rude.

I have a friend who once said he feels compelled to talk to strangers in elevators, as he feels they are 'uncomfortable with the silence'. I told him, 'no, YOU are uncomfortable and are feeling the need to project your insecurity on the stranger in the elevator. For all you know he or she has no interest in conversation.'

If I walk in with a McDonald's bag, do not say to me 'Hey, man, you went to McDonald's?' You're asking for dry sarcasm. If it's raining outside, I'm not interested in conversing about it as though I've never seen rain before.
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Old 03-26-2015, 04:41 AM
 
2,163 posts, read 1,544,104 times
Reputation: 6027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondebaerde View Post
Relax yourself completely.

Stare ahead loosely, but don't "concentrate" per se. Watch the elevator number rise and fall, usually a display at about 7', to the right or left of center. Breath deeply. No real need to focus on who is, or is not, getting on the elevator other than your awareness that it stops and starts, and people arrive and leave.

Focus gently on the floor number display. When yours is up, politely excuse yourself and exit. Who else is there is completely irrelevant.

Not too difficult.

I call this "staying in my bubble." If someone else who knows you enters and says something first, your bubble will temporarily expand, though you didn't "see" them first if you follow the above. Then, say: "good morning, Fred!", smile, and return to top of page process.

Temporarily expanding your bubble, then re-inflating it with no drama, apologies, excuses, awkwardness, etc. is a skill. Other introverts totally get it. Extroverts do not. The latter is not my problem. I have these kind of interactions (or non-interactions) many times per day on the elevators and etc.

It takes waaaaay too much energy to actually consciously "ignore" other people, or make excuses for not talking, etc. Just stare loosely at a point over their head, like the elevator floor number, it will resolve itself. Not your iPhone, not the floor, not them, not anything else. Keep it transactional only.

I'm sure a variation of this is applicable to a subway, too. Staying on mental Condition Yellow or Orange is for the cops and security guards: they're paid to expend the energy to consciously notice anomalous behavior. I'm not, and don't, and won't.
And this is so very, very on point.
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Old 03-26-2015, 04:41 AM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,123 posts, read 60,239,594 times
Reputation: 60726
You know, I rarely, if ever, have a stranger engage me in conversation. Where do you guys go that this happens?
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Old 03-26-2015, 06:33 AM
 
210 posts, read 379,076 times
Reputation: 319
Hate it too. Prefer a real conversation about real subject matter and maybe even a debate! But at work and in other situations, it may not be politically correct so I just suck it up and talk about the weather. That's it. The weather. followed by dead silence. My contribution to the world of small talk.
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Old 03-26-2015, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,719 posts, read 16,782,117 times
Reputation: 41863
Sometimes at work I will say "How are you doing" to a customer and I get nothing......not a look, a nod, a hi, NOTHING ! It is as if I am talking to a blank wall. It is as if I am not even there. That is when my helpful meter goes much lower and they get the bare necessities out of me.

I figure, if they don't have the common courtesy of at least saying hello, why should I go out of my way for them ? On the other hand, if they would have engaged me, I would have gone overboard to make sure they were well taken care of and had the benefit of my experience with their purchases.

Sometimes I will walk by a customer in an aisle and simply ask "Do you need any help or are you ok", and I will get no response at all, so I walk away and if they need me they can come looking for me. People get what they give, and if someone is so anti social that they don't want to communicate, why should I do more than them ?

Years ago I said to a customer, "How are you today?" and he said " Do you really give a damn?" and I said "Not really, but they make me say that." Yep, you gets what you gives !

Don
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Old 03-26-2015, 07:23 AM
bg7
 
7,694 posts, read 10,530,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
Oh man it drives me crazy when I am at work and end up in the elevator with someone who I never have conversations with and then you have to think about something to say to not appear rude. This is why I pretended to be sleep on the subway yesterday when I ran into a male coworker because I did not have the mental energy to be FAKE. lol

Am I the only one who hate talking about useless nonsense just to appear friendly?

You could always try being friendly. Unless you are autistic or an introvert (in which case I understand why you think it feels fake and why it requires "effort"), its simply social lubrication. Humans are generally a social species.
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Old 03-26-2015, 07:43 AM
 
2,144 posts, read 1,872,642 times
Reputation: 10604
I'm very introverted. I don't initiate conversation with random people ever and prefer to be inside my own bubble.

However, I also recognize that it's not all about me... If an acquaintance approaches (coworker, kid's friend's parent whatever), there is a responsibility to help put that person at ease around me. Give a smile and a nod. Say "Good morning, Fred," like someone said earlier.

On this thread alone you see some people calling the non-small-talkers anti-social psychos and the like. Stepping a tiny bit outside your comfort zone prevents that. Like bg7 said... social lubrication.
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