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There have been plenty of gatherings where I end up just hanging out with my husband & the guys. Chit chat with women I have nothing in common with can be tedious.
There have been plenty of gatherings where I end up just hanging out with my husband & the guys. Chit chat with women I have nothing in common with can be tedious.
There is an unspoken rule that the men talk to the men and the women talk to the women and the kids with the kids. The kids and the women don't know or care about the bad interaction between the men.
Have you been thrown together at family events with people you would not have anything to do with if they were not family?
At Easter there will be four men at my parents home. 1) My father who only says about five words to anyone a year. 2) Len, a sisters husband, who has no personality at all and will go down the basement and sit in a chair all alone; 3) Myself; and 4) Jeff. The woman are off in the kitchen in their girl talk talking about hairstyles, cooking, shoes and makeup.
I am a fish out of water counting down the hours until the event is over. Logically Jeff and I would bond and we could chat and make the whole thing easier to take. He is a high powered Attorney and gives me shade. He is too important to deal with the likes of me. So he just sits in the room and plays with his Smartphone. All attempts at conversation have not worked with Jeff.
Jeff: Please talk to me! If you were me would you keep trying? Or sit and play with my SmartPhone too. (If you can't beat them, join them.)
Absolutely. We can't choose our families, only how much (or how little) and how we tolerate them.
There is an unspoken rule that the men talk to the men and the women talk to the women and the kids with the kids. The kids and the women don't know or care about the bad interaction between the men.
How could that be a rule if the men aren't talking now?
When my family was still living, my dad and grandpas would be in watching football. I really didn't care about that and was in with the women. I also learned from an early age to be a HELP in the kitchen and also learned to visit with my relatives. To me, it wasn't a big deal and I refuse to be pegged into men's stuff. However, now that my dad is gone, I wish I would have watched more football with him as he was a died in the wool Cowboys fan. ( part of it is that I do NOT like Jerry Jones!) I miss my dad.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
I know! I've only seen or heard the term "giving shade" twice in my life: in this thread, and in another recent thread, and I just checked--it's the same poster.
OP, maybe these people who you believe are "giving you shade" are just intimidated by how cool you are, using those new-fangled nifty terms like "giving shade."
I hear the term "throwing shade" all the time. However it's often on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's a popular term for when someone is trying to ignore you and give off the I'm better then you vibe. Such as they are the bright spot and you are in the dark.
I know! I've only seen or heard the term "giving shade" twice in my life: in this thread, and in another recent thread, and I just checked--it's the same poster.
OP, maybe these people who you believe are "giving you shade" are just intimidated by how cool you are, using those new-fangled nifty terms like "giving shade."
Newfangled! LOL. Shade has been around for many decades. I first heard the term in the mid-1980s.
In "Paris Is Burning" (filmed in the 1980s), the late great Dorian Corey explains how "shade came from reading."
How could that be a rule if the men aren't talking now?
The women at the family events were so much into their discussion about fashion and other girl topics they did not know the men did not talk. They wanted be together, not with us dullards. If I showed up they would give me shade.
I hesitate to suggest this because it would be considered quite rude in most situations. But if the men won't talk to you, and you refuse to join the women, why not bring a book? And read it to your heart's content?
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