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I would probably buy her a ridiculous amount of earrings LOL. Like 12 pairs. Then buy her earrings for every holiday, birthday, event, for the rest of her life.
Wow, people taking gifts back! It's like people don't understand what "gift" means. If you give something to someone that means it's not yours anymore. I think we should add one mandatory class in our schools called "manners" so that everybody understands what the words and gestures actually mean.
Yes, it's very tacky but a lot of people suck so give them back and don't waste anymore time thinking about it. People like that thrive on negative reactions. Don't give her the power
I don't get the drama here. I'm more comfortable with my dil than I am with my son. We swap, gift, trade and give back or take back. What I love about her is the comfort level we share, we never feel a need to apologize. I'd give her the moon and if I needed it back one dark night she'd oblige me. Definitely more going on with OP and her mil that's not being said.
I couldn't help but wonder if that's how the OPs MIL thinks.
People who never think they need to apologize, usually do in my world. And if you gave me the moon and wanted it back, fogeddabouddit. Nacho moon!
Gifts are supposed to be given with no expectation of compensation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWisdom
If you give something to someone that means it's not yours anymore.
You two are living in a dream world and it wouldn't surprise me if people are taking advantage of you.
Gifts are discretionary. Means I choose to give them or not, I choose to let you keep them or not. Gifts are not meant to receive something tangible in return, that I agree with. If I give you a gift, you don't need to give me anything tangible in return, in fact I don't allow it. But that's the only restriction.
Some gifts are pointless to ask back - for example, a gift card. If I give you a gift card, I have zero intention of asking for it back because it makes no sense. But then, such a gift has no affection behind it. It's purely practical.
If I give an article of clothing, I likely won't ask for it back simply because of the hassle of returning it. Thus why I normally don't gift clothing.
But if I give you something that is from the heart, I expect you to behave appropriately before, during and after the gifting. If you don't, then yes, I'm likely to ask for it back. You want to talk manners? MANY people have never been taught how to appreciate others. It doesn't stop in the 4 seconds it takes to say "thank you". Appreciation should continue until it's deserved otherwise.
I gave a person a 14k gold dipped single rose in special packaging imported (at the time) from Canada. Such things simply don't happen on a regular basis. Yet, not 24 hours later, she had an attitude problem about something silly - hair or something. NO. I took it back with haste and sold it on eBay or something.
I gave another person a four-leaf clover encased in glass. DOES NOT get gifted on a regular basis. Yet not 5 hours later, she was "too busy" to talk to me, despite sitting there doing nothing. NO. Took it back with haste.
The last gift I ever gave someone was a chrome makeup compact engraved with her initials. I didn't ask for it back because you can't return engraved, but I knew that when I gifted it. She wasn't rude or anything to me, so even if it wasn't engraved I wouldn't have taken it back. She appreciated it. How it's supposed to be.
You two are living in a dream world and it wouldn't surprise me if people are taking advantage of you.
Gifts are discretionary. Means I choose to give them or not, I choose to let you keep them or not. Gifts are not meant to receive something tangible in return, that I agree with. If I give you a gift, you don't need to give me anything tangible in return, in fact I don't allow it. But that's the only restriction.
Some gifts are pointless to ask back - for example, a gift card. If I give you a gift card, I have zero intention of asking for it back because it makes no sense. But then, such a gift has no affection behind it. It's purely practical.
If I give an article of clothing, I likely won't ask for it back simply because of the hassle of returning it. Thus why I normally don't gift clothing.
But if I give you something that is from the heart, I expect you to behave appropriately before, during and after the gifting. If you don't, then yes, I'm likely to ask for it back. You want to talk manners? MANY people have never been taught how to appreciate others. It doesn't stop in the 4 seconds it takes to say "thank you". Appreciation should continue until it's deserved otherwise.
I gave a person a 14k gold dipped single rose in special packaging imported (at the time) from Canada. Such things simply don't happen on a regular basis. Yet, not 24 hours later, she had an attitude problem about something silly - hair or something. NO. I took it back with haste and sold it on eBay or something.
I gave another person a four-leaf clover encased in glass. DOES NOT get gifted on a regular basis. Yet not 5 hours later, she was "too busy" to talk to me, despite sitting there doing nothing. NO. Took it back with haste.
The last gift I ever gave someone was a chrome makeup compact engraved with her initials. I didn't ask for it back because you can't return engraved, but I knew that when I gifted it. She wasn't rude or anything to me, so even if it wasn't engraved I wouldn't have taken it back. She appreciated it. How it's supposed to be.
so, let me get this straight. If you give a gift to someone and then you decide they're not kissing your tush enough, you demand the gift back?
You two are living in a dream world and it wouldn't surprise me if people are taking advantage of you.
Gifts are discretionary. Means I choose to give them or not, I choose to let you keep them or not. Gifts are not meant to receive something tangible in return, that I agree with. If I give you a gift, you don't need to give me anything tangible in return, in fact I don't allow it. But that's the only restriction.
Some gifts are pointless to ask back - for example, a gift card. If I give you a gift card, I have zero intention of asking for it back because it makes no sense. But then, such a gift has no affection behind it. It's purely practical.
If I give an article of clothing, I likely won't ask for it back simply because of the hassle of returning it. Thus why I normally don't gift clothing.
But if I give you something that is from the heart, I expect you to behave appropriately before, during and after the gifting. If you don't, then yes, I'm likely to ask for it back. You want to talk manners? MANY people have never been taught how to appreciate others. It doesn't stop in the 4 seconds it takes to say "thank you". Appreciation should continue until it's deserved otherwise.
I gave a person a 14k gold dipped single rose in special packaging imported (at the time) from Canada. Such things simply don't happen on a regular basis. Yet, not 24 hours later, she had an attitude problem about something silly - hair or something. NO. I took it back with haste and sold it on eBay or something.
I gave another person a four-leaf clover encased in glass. DOES NOT get gifted on a regular basis. Yet not 5 hours later, she was "too busy" to talk to me, despite sitting there doing nothing. NO. Took it back with haste.
The last gift I ever gave someone was a chrome makeup compact engraved with her initials. I didn't ask for it back because you can't return engraved, but I knew that when I gifted it. She wasn't rude or anything to me, so even if it wasn't engraved I wouldn't have taken it back. She appreciated it. How it's supposed to be.
This is just odd and shows a severe disconnect with the normal process of giving. The OP, on the other hand, is just looking to create or continue preexisting problems with her mother in law. The mother in law gave her a personal gift and then, due to her own earrings being damaged, asked to borrow them back for an event or a short period. The OP, instead of exhibiting some gratitude and lending the MIL the earrings, creates a scenario where she will never get them back and also manages to call her a stone ager or something for the social crime of not using email. In fact she has charged the MIL with the type of behavior "revelated" is proud to exhibit.
so, let me get this straight. If you give a gift to someone and then you decide they're not kissing your tush enough, you demand the gift back?
Yep. That pretty much sums it up. One of my aunt's had a similar modus operandi. She used gifts to buy her family's love, then she snatched them back as soon as we failed to live up to her expectations. She always kept a scorecard, and eventually we tired of the game and stopped voluntarily associating with her outside of obligatory holidays.
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