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Old 04-13-2015, 09:17 PM
 
16 posts, read 15,508 times
Reputation: 10

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I didn't know where to put this thread so I put it on relationships

Basically i have a friend who i get along with have a laugh with but when he hurts someone else in the group I got the blame for it compromising my friendship. He has very bad manners and no respect at all. He even drags banter into a big thing. He uses me as a scapegoat . He begs to be my friend if I ended it. Now I wanna finish it for good but we have gone back to ways it was before , should I cause an arguement or summat else , I can't do it out of the blue. Pls help
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Old 04-13-2015, 09:30 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,009,084 times
Reputation: 1075
friends don't hurt friends
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:34 PM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,832,893 times
Reputation: 3172
Phase him out of your life. Ignore his calls & stay busy with your work. He is obviously immature, selfish & nobody's friend. Cut him out slowly without any drama or official announcement of ending the friendship. When he wants to meet you just give some excuse or cancel at the last minute. If you run into him or he shows up at your place, act normal & say you have been busy, that's all. Hopefully he will get the message. Put him on restricted list in your social network so that he doesn't spread lies about you online. Such people are low-life losers who cant see others happy & successful so they drag others down to make them miserable like them. Remember, misery loves company. Hangout with friends who are more like you. I used to be friends with someone like that long back who dragged everyone into unnecessary gossiping & spread rumors about close friends. He loved picking fights by intentionally offending someone, for ex., say something against their religion, insult their race, etc. The first time he tried that on me, I cut him out completely. Years later he apologized. He had to go through a cycle of broken friendships to realize what he was doing to people close to him. You cannot set such people straight as they are immature & self centered. They need to learn some lessons on their own so keep your distance until they are ready to live up to your standards.
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:38 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZainChoudry21 View Post
I didn't know where to put this thread so I put it on relationships

Basically i have a friend who i get along with have a laugh with but when he hurts someone else in the group I got the blame for it compromising my friendship. He has very bad manners and no respect at all. He even drags banter into a big thing. He uses me as a scapegoat . He begs to be my friend if I ended it. Now I wanna finish it for good but we have gone back to ways it was before , should I cause an arguement or summat else , I can't do it out of the blue. Pls help

Are you the same type of person as him? If not then why are you spending time with him? Why do you call him your friend when he hurts you, hour friends and uses you?

Why can't you do it out of the blue? Is this person that important in your life that you cannot live without being hurt and used?
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Old 04-14-2015, 05:34 AM
 
11,558 posts, read 12,021,989 times
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You don't have to keep toxic people, such as your so-called 'friend' in your life. One would think with a rude person like that you could just be honest and share your concerns, but usually it's the same as talking to a wall; or causes a lot of needless drama.

theluckygal gave excellent advice!
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Old 04-14-2015, 06:02 AM
 
2,163 posts, read 1,543,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610;39211767[B
]Are you the same type of person as him? If not then why are you spending time with him? Why do you call him your friend when he hurts you, hour friends and uses you?[/b]

Why can't you do it out of the blue? Is this person that important in your life that you cannot live without being hurt and used?
Because--and I'm not singling you out, OP, and I mean no offense--people are weak. People will put up with the misery just to satisfy the other person's selfishness, people will avoid even the most minor confrontation. They will, for lack of a better phrase, 'go along to get along'. It's fake and it's a colossal waste of time and energy.

Cut this person out of your life immediately and enjoy the refreshing change it will bring.

Last edited by BobCaldwell; 04-14-2015 at 06:43 AM..
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Old 04-14-2015, 06:24 PM
 
16 posts, read 15,508 times
Reputation: 10
Thank guys, but I'm gonna do it but I need step by step I need to play my cards right before he traps in another scheme
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Old 04-14-2015, 06:26 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZainChoudry21 View Post
Thank guys, but I'm gonna do it but I need step by step I need to play my cards right before he traps in another scheme

Do you understand the old saying:

"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."

There is no "step by step" you just cut the cord and if you get "trapped" in another scheme that is your fault for allowing it to happen.
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Old 04-14-2015, 07:08 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,622,264 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZainChoudry21 View Post
Thank guys, but I'm gonna do it but I need step by step I need to play my cards right before he traps in another scheme
Theluckygirl gave great step-by-step advice.
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Old 04-14-2015, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Honolulu/DMV Area/NYC
30,562 posts, read 18,055,250 times
Reputation: 34366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
friends don't hurt friends
Pretty much. If a "talking to" doesn't change this person's tone, then its time to cut the chord.
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