Networking businesses- being recruited by old friends (member, Christmas, house)
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Golfing buddy invited 6-8 of his buddies and their spouses to a cookout at his house. His wife took several of the women downstairs to her study to pitch them a beauty product. Word got back to the fellow that several women were upset. His wife sent an Email apology.
This would have major ticked me off. I even got really upset when at a retreat one of the organizers decided to try and pitch a stupid beauty product her daughter was selling. I was clear that most did not like it. Different if invited and you choose to go and listen.
I hate that too. I had a sneaky 'friend' like that who would invite some of us for a social event like 4th of july bbq & make us sit through presentations about retirement, investing, etc. She would casually mention some business like a car insurance company & if I said I will look into it (just to be polite, with no follow up questions or any show of interest), I would get a call from an insurance agent the next day. I just ignored her after realizing she always had an agenda when she would invite me. I was a part of a professional networking group that met once a month with the purpose of promoting their business & making contacts. I preferred them so much more than her as they were straightforward about their purpose for meeting with others rather than her bait & switch tactics. She ended up losing a lot of her friends because of her lying & manipulation.
Sorry to hear this, but not at all surprised. These days, I just assume that most people who want to talk to me have some kind of ulterior motive, so this type of thing never happens to me anymore.
This would have major ticked me off. I even got really upset when at a retreat one of the organizers decided to try and pitch a stupid beauty product her daughter was selling. I was clear that most did not like it. Different if invited and you choose to go and listen.
I failed to explain one thing. The fellow had held the cookout before and nothing like this had happened before.
I failed to explain one thing. The fellow had held the cookout before and nothing like this had happened before.
Maybe he was "setting you up" for the presentation at a later date. I.e., have the cook out with no strings attached initially. And, then once you're comfortable going there, have the presentation to a "captive audience". No way to prove this, however, but I wouldn't put anything past anybody.
Today I wanted to say, "you could've just said I started with this company, are you interested?" But... I didn't. She said keep in touch, but I know she'll probably never message me again.
It just hurts my feelings, because they obviously know I'm there, but they don't ever comment or try to have a conversation, then suddenly they think they can make a few bucks, so now they're interested in talking to me. I just feel like I don't have any genuine friends.
That's bunk. They are contacting you only because if you WANT or NEED a business like this, you know who they are. It's not a huge deal. People are going to know you ( from the past or whatever) You certainly haven't kept up with their life but cry fowl when they do contact you. All you have to do is delete it.
Yesterday and today I had two random acquaintances message me about their businesses, which is fine I guess. I just hate that these people haven't tried to have a conversation with me in years, then out of the blue they are "dying to catch up," name drop their business and when I'm not interested, they go on their way. I've tried these businesses, I get you have to explore every avenue, but I don't like the pretend to be my buddy and care about my life stuff, then disappear when I don't want to join your team or buy your product thing. Makes me sad. Just be straight forward about your intentions, because if you actually cared about me, you'd talk to me for more than 5 minutes .
When our son was born, 26 years ago, a college friend called to congratulate me after the announcements went out. I thought nothing of it since she had roomed with my roommate before I did. We went to each others' weddings, and we also ran into her when we were buying our house. She asked if we were up for visitors, and I said sure! When she & her hubby showed up, they had another man with them. Before they got out of the car, my husband said, "S#*!), I bet this is an ***** pitch. Yep. They had just signed up, so they didn't know how to pitch it yet. Their upline (is that the right word?) was extremely pushy and very rude when we turned them down flat. I was currently a beauty consultant with Mary Kay. This guy had the nerve to put down that company! We never heard from our friends after that.
We've reconnected in the past few years, and there's no mention of that company, so I think they didn't last long.
I sold Tupperware and Mary Kay when our kids were small. It allowed me to stay home with them and earn some spending money. There was a lot of pressure to recruit and move up (especially in MK), but I never felt comfortable doing that. The few recruits I got were purely accidental! I didn't see it as a career, although I know people who have made successful careers. You have to decide what's more important to you - moving up in the company or keeping your friends. They can definitely be pushy.
I seem to be a magnet for various MLMs now that I'm having health issues. Everyone has the cure. I've told people that if they're going to pitch an MLM to me, I can save them their time. One woman denied that she was with an MLM, but it was plain to see that she was. I just started ignoring her messages.
That's bunk. They are contacting you only because if you WANT or NEED a business like this, you know who they are. It's not a huge deal. People are going to know you ( from the past or whatever) You certainly haven't kept up with their life but cry fowl when they do contact you. All you have to do is delete it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thegreenflute334
The feeling is mutual, obviously.
No, I haven't kept up with their lives, but I'm also not contacting them out of the blue, asking them to buy a product and then stop speaking to them when they say no. It's rude.
We're friends, right? I can tell you my honest opinion, because you know my intent is not to hurt your feelings.
Okay. Here goes.
I am your friend. I am not a sales target. I am not a way for you to earn a living or potential commission. My friendship and my circle of other acquaintances are not assets for you to tap into, as if it were an oil field.
Because when you come to me with your AmWay, your Arbonne Cosmetics, your Cabi shows, your long-distance plans, your Avon, and everything else you care to name, that's how you make me feel. And if the rest of your friends were being perfectly honest, that's the way you make them feel, too.
So now, every time I see your name on my caller ID, I am forced to ask the awful question, "Does she want to talk to me, or does she want to peddle more crap?" Between the neighbors kids selling stuff to raise money for their band trip, the Boy Scouts selling popcorn to finance their activities, and the church choir staging yet another fundraiser to buy a new organ, I am assaulted by worthy people at every turn, seeking my money.
As my friend, you are supposed to be my refuge from that. I should be part of your world because you like me, and for no other reason. For I am not a prospect. I am not the Comstock Lode to be mined relentlessly. I am a living, breathing person who does not like to feel used. You know, the way it feels when you choose to taint our friendship with commerce.
Good luck with your business. Win the White Mercedes. Win top honors. Go for the gusto. But please don't hound me day after day, week after week, to help fund it. If I want to buy your stuff, I'll call you. Don't call me. Unless you just want to be my friend.
CPG, that is one of the most well-written, heart-felt, and head-on-straight posts I've ever read...and has implications that go beyond this particular thread...in terms of how we treat others and expect/accept being treated. Thank you!
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