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Old 04-17-2015, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 24,954,964 times
Reputation: 51106

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
My mom popped up in Virginia while I was spending the weekend in Ohio a few months ago. Hopefully that taught her a lesson about popcorn visits.
That happened to someone that I knew, too. Mom & Dad used to occasionally "pop over" (about a five hour drive) for weekend visits to my friend. My friend was in her 20s and her parents never called first, just came. It was pretty annoying to my friend but her parents kept doing it.

One Friday night, the parents arrived late and no one was home. They waited and waited but their daughter did not show up. Finally they had to get a hotel room. Saturday morning they went back to her place & waited outside and still no daughter. This was before cell phones so they couldn't call her (except on her land line). Finally after waiting around most of Saturday they drove back home (another five hours) instead of being forced to get another hotel room.

It turned out that my friend had decided to take an impromptu weekend trip with some friends and was gone all weekend.

BTW, her parents never just "popped over" again without calling first to make sure that she was home and it was OK to visit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Nope.
Is this a recurring thing for you, or a first-time problem? If it's first-time, I agree with the above poster: suck it up. If it's recurring, you need to learn to use your words: "I'm sorry, this week-end doesn't work at all for me. Do you want me to help you find a place to stay or do you want to take a rain check?"
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Old 04-17-2015, 11:10 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,939,958 times
Reputation: 46662
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
And here it is. Someone trying to guilt trip the OP to prevent him from setting fair boundaries and excusing bad behavior from parents just because they birthed him. Happens every thread like this. Only a matter of time.
Yep. The OP is an adult and deserves to be treated as if he were one. Doesn't mean he doesn't love his family, but he deserves that.

All it took was my mom and aunt to show up at my apartment on a Saturday morning at 8:15 when I had overnight company to break her of that. Served her right for dropping in in on a 22-year-old.
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Old 04-17-2015, 11:39 PM
 
2,045 posts, read 2,134,358 times
Reputation: 7226
Just get it over with. Think of it as 3 weekends in a row that you couldn't spend alone time with your special honey bun, and just get it done. Then next weekend, open a bottle of rose' by the firepit or shoot skeet or whatever it is you do for fun, and feel all the better that you have the unpleasantness behind you.
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Old 04-17-2015, 11:42 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,961,628 times
Reputation: 62660
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
My mother, grandmother, and aunt are coming from TN to IN to visit me this weekend. I was in TN two weeks ago, had to work last weekend, and am now having to entertain them.

I really didn't want them to come this weekend as this is the first weekend I've had in a long time where I'm not either traveling, working, or doing something with my girlfriend, but they pretty much decided at the first of the week that they were coming up, and that was that. My input wasn't even asked for.

Do you ever feel like the out of town family just comes when they want with little regard for your input?

Tell them you have already made plans and will not be home to visit with them.
The only reason you "have" to entertain them is because you are allowing them to control your life.
Do what you want and if you have time have supper with them at their hotel where they will have to stay because you and your home will not be available to them.
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Old 04-18-2015, 01:59 AM
 
Location: Long Neck , DE
4,903 posts, read 4,183,502 times
Reputation: 8095
We would not even go visit local family without calling first.
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Old 04-18-2015, 06:38 AM
 
Location: City Data Land
17,156 posts, read 12,857,051 times
Reputation: 33164
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
If that doesn't happen too often, just suck it up. A weekend goes by fast.
This. I have hardly any family who is still alive, and the few who are left don't care about me or my sister due to long standing family rifts that started when we were tiny kids. I suggest you choose your battles and count your blessings.
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Old 04-18-2015, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Central FL
91 posts, read 112,286 times
Reputation: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
No, because my out of town family doesn't do that.
What a great contribution to this discussion.
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Old 04-18-2015, 01:46 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,063 posts, read 106,870,458 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
I agree.

To the OP, tell your relatives it is a bad weekend.
Pretty simple. In view of the fact that the OP hasn't posted again, though, I'd guess he has his hands full with his relatives right about now. If after telling them it was a bad time, they didn't take "no" for an answer, I would have arranged to be gone around their expected arrival time, spending the day out enjoying myself.
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Old 04-18-2015, 02:04 PM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,802,417 times
Reputation: 10451
I'm kinda confused. Are they staying at the OP's? Or are they staying at a hotel and expect to see the OP?
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Old 04-18-2015, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 24,954,964 times
Reputation: 51106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
My mother, grandmother, and aunt are coming from TN to IN to visit me this weekend. I was in TN two weeks ago, had to work last weekend, and am now having to entertain them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
I'm kinda confused. Are they staying at the OP's? Or are they staying at a hotel and expect to see the OP?
Although, the OP did not say specifically, even if they were not staying at his place, it appeared to me that he was expected to "entertain them" all weekend. To me, that sounds like they are expecting to be with him during the entire day, not just meet them for lunch on Saturday afternoon or something like that.

I know people that actually sleep at hotels but go to the families homes from early morning until late at night. Whether or not that is the case with the OP, we do not know.
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