Best friend cheating on husband (member, wives, house, couples)
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Friend of 23 years cheating on spouse. Awkward only if the spouse didn't know and I did. Spouse knows... no biggie! Moderator cut: delete You have overdue library books! No, you haven't cheated on your spouse, but you have filed a personal bankruptcy! You don't get to choose which sins are worse than any other. Sin is sin. If you believe in sin. Which I don't. It is just as ludicrous to believe that two people should be together for a lifetime and be faithful, as to believe that young people should be celibate into their late 20's if they haven't found anyone to marry. But Americans can lay those kinds of trips on themselves. Doesn't mean it is right. America's divorce rate in the best case is over 50%. Some European countries have divorce rates in the single digits! All that sanctimony and Ivory Tower holier than thou does NOT translate into superior social metrics. Just saying.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-04-2015 at 08:59 PM..
Reason: insult on cd posters
Friend of 23 years cheating on spouse. Awkward only if the spouse didn't know and I did. Spouse knows... no biggie! City-Data posters are some of the most sanctimonious and self-righteous on the Internet. Get a grip some of you. You have overdue library books! No, you haven't cheated on your spouse, but you have filed a personal bankruptcy! You don't get to choose which sins are worse than any other. Sin is sin. If you believe in sin. Which I don't. It is just as ludicrous to believe that two people should be together for a lifetime and be faithful, as to believe that young people should be celibate into their late 20's if they haven't found anyone to marry. But Americans can lay those kinds of trips on themselves. Doesn't mean it is right. America's divorce rate in the best case is over 50%. Some European countries have divorce rates in the single digits! All that sanctimony and Ivory Tower holier than thou does NOT translate into superior social metrics. Just saying.
Your opinions on momnogomy are irrelevant. The op obviously thinks it is wrong and is uncomfortable with what her friend did.
Friend of 23 years cheating on spouse. Awkward only if the spouse didn't know and I did. Spouse knows... no biggie! City-Data posters are some of the most sanctimonious and self-righteous on the Internet. Get a grip some of you. You have overdue library books! No, you haven't cheated on your spouse, but you have filed a personal bankruptcy! You don't get to choose which sins are worse than any other. Sin is sin. If you believe in sin. Which I don't. It is just as ludicrous to believe that two people should be together for a lifetime and be faithful, as to believe that young people should be celibate into their late 20's if they haven't found anyone to marry. But Americans can lay those kinds of trips on themselves. Doesn't mean it is right. America's divorce rate in the best case is over 50%. Some European countries have divorce rates in the single digits! All that sanctimony and Ivory Tower holier than thou does NOT translate into superior social metrics. Just saying.
Cheating on a spouse carries a lot more consequences than an overdue library book.Moderator cut: delete A late library book can't give me HPV leading to ovarian cancer, or HIV. Or herpes or the clap. I think subjecting a spouse to that risk should be criminal. Never mind all the other crap which comes along with screwing around. Don't try to say cheaters are careful and use protection either.
Moderator cut: deletefiltered wordIf you don't believe in monogamy, don't keep and cheat on someone at home, and in the dark, because you're too weak to stand on your own two feet in life. Don't drag other people down into something they weren't bargaining for because your zipper only goes in one direction.
However, if people want to have an open marriage, that isn't cheating. So really, your first sentence has nothing to do with cheating and everything in that points to an open marriage. As long as everyone is on board with the rules of the marriage = not cheating. So....
If a person does not believe they can be with one person for a lifetime, then don't get married. It really doesn't get any easier than that. There's no law saying a person MUST get married. Many people go through life and never marry and are perfectly happy. Cheating is cowardice no matter how you slice it.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-04-2015 at 09:08 PM..
Reason: orphaned due to a deleted comment in another post
Also, I have family born and raised in France (and they still reside there), mostly cousins at this point, and I do know when one of them was cheated on she went ballistic, as one might expect someone from another country to react. France is purported to be blase' regarding adultery but a lot of them feel that way about their gov't officials and celebrities. There wouldn't be much vilification, say, of Angelina Jolie initially having an affair with a married Brad Pitt. Not like there was here in the US.
My family there had mentioned, after said cousin was cheated on and I naively asked, that in general most French people don't feel so blase' when they personally are being cheated on. They just don't feel as uptight about adultery as a general thing, as long as it isn't impacting them personally.
To use your word, perhaps Europeans are less sanctimonious about adultery and extramarital affairs aren't newsworthy like they are here. Doesn't mean they're all out there screwing around. Some do and some don't. Pretty standard.
Your opinions on momnogomy are irrelevant. The op obviously thinks it is wrong and is uncomfortable with what her friend did.
They would be relevant if they supported the o.p.'s POV? If the o.p. is so uncomfortable with what her friend did, and apparently confessed, to her spouse. Then the o.p. can certainly unfriend her ex-friend and live happier knowing that she stood up for her principles.
Have you ever been married and cheated on? I can assure you, the first few seconds after this revelation are the worst you will ever experience in your life. She is a degenerate. I would distance myself immediately. As I mentioned, you have to be on the receiving end of this to understand how truly horrible it is. Someone that would do that to another person is a bad person, period.
Cheating on a spouse carries a lot more consequences than an overdue library book. Call me or whoever else sanctimonious but a late library book can't give me HPV leading to ovarian cancer, or HIV. Or herpes or the clap. I think subjecting a spouse to that risk should be criminal. Never mind all the other crap which comes along with screwing around. Don't try to say cheaters are careful and use protection either. .
The VAST majority of people who get STD's get them outside of a marriage situation. It is purely the "ick" factor that someone you owned stepped out on you. If the States weren't quite so willing to hand over a guy's house and 50% of his net worth on a woman's say so about ONE count of adultery, I am confident that more women would have a more nuanced view of infidelity in general. Men have always HAD to have that nuanced take, even if they were the 'wronged' spouse they will still end up the one paying alimony, child support and will lose the marital home. It is only recently coming to light just how much female infidelity goes on because most men aren't going to nuke a 16 year marriage and all that comes with that over their wife's one night stand! Or even their wife's ongoing relationship with the gardener.
Have you ever been married and cheated on? I can assure you, the first few seconds after this revelation are the worst you will ever experience in your life. She is a degenerate. I would distance myself immediately. As I mentioned, you have to be on the receiving end of this to understand how truly horrible it is. Someone that would do that to another person is a bad person, period.
I have been married and cheated on. I am much more upset about the fact that she tried so hard to keep me in a marriage I didn't want in the first place. She and I had both had sex with other people before meeting. Its still just sex even after! All this rage over infidelity is pure indoctrination. It isn't intrinsic. My ex was possessive to the point of insanity. The mental gymnastics one has to go through to feel that no one should cheat on you even while you are boning your boss... ... and I might have enjoyed watching had it been an otherwise loving and happy marriage...
The sex isnt the big deal. All the lying and deception is. "If I am not good enough for you, why are you still here?!?! Oh thats right, yer coke dealing boyfriend cant get a real job and support you the way I have" . . . There are many peripheral issues that go along with it Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-04-2015 at 09:04 PM..
Reason: inappropriate
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