Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-05-2015, 01:37 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,138,948 times
Reputation: 1473

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by BamaBlue View Post
I was at lunch and saw a friend's wife at lunch with a man who was not her husband. They seemed rather intimate. Snuggly & kissing, having some drinks with their food. They didn't see me. Should I tell him?
I would tell him. I don't care if you look like a tattletale, it is being a friend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-05-2015, 01:42 PM
 
11,337 posts, read 10,981,366 times
Reputation: 14993
Tell him. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 02:13 PM
 
305 posts, read 720,499 times
Reputation: 467
Quote:
Originally Posted by BamaBlue View Post
I was at lunch and saw a friend's wife at lunch with a man who was not her husband. They seemed rather intimate. Snuggly & kissing, having some drinks with their food. They didn't see me. Should I tell him?
Tell him. The husband has a right to know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,017,055 times
Reputation: 3910
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Guard View Post
Yes, let him know so this can all get turned around on you. There is nothing but good that can come from this.
That's the truth...... this is a lesson I learned years ago. No matter how much we think the other person deserves to know they want to find out from you even less. This is one of those dilemmas where the right thing to do is not. I have never seen it work out to where the victim acknowledges the confidants information positively. This is a situation where both parties will shoot the messenger
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:24 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,299 posts, read 47,238,084 times
Reputation: 47282
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I think thats why just explaining what you saw and not adding your assumptions is really important. For all we know they are swingers, its her brother, etc, etc.

Hey John, I really wanted to talk to you about something because its really bugging me and I feel the right thing to do is just let you know. Night before last I was at xxxxxxx and I saw Sue with a man having dinner. I saw them hug and kiss on the lips a couple times.

Just the facts, and not being a busy body but a friend.
I would pare than down ever further...

Hey John! Saw Sue at _______ restaurant last night - her brother in town?
or something like that.
No need to mention being bugged or what they may have been doing....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:29 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,138,948 times
Reputation: 1473
Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
I think it depends on a LOT of things.

Like how old is your friend? How long have they been married? Any kids, and if so, what are their ages?

If I was under 45 without any kids under age 15 or so, I would DEFINITELY want to know so that I could work on finding another person to be my mate who was worthy of my trust before I was any older. If that was not the case, though, I would not want to know, but would just hope that my spouse's "affair" would blow over.

However, in today's world, because of AIDS and the STD "epidemic", I think anyone who would have a casual affair is a certifiable idiot!
I think life is way too short to be in a relationship with someone that obviously dosen't love you. I would not want it to "blow over", I would rather take what little of my pride is left and go elsewhere.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:37 PM
 
191 posts, read 210,843 times
Reputation: 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by jabber_wocky View Post
I think life is way too short to be in a relationship with someone that obviously dosen't love you. I would not want it to "blow over", I would rather take what little of my pride is left and go elsewhere.
+1000

I'd rather be alone at any age than be someone's Plan B or consolation prize.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 04:18 PM
 
2,269 posts, read 3,780,389 times
Reputation: 2133
Be careful confronting the cheating spouse, especially if it's a man. You could easily end up in a shallow grave somewhere. Some people will go to great lengths to conceal such a secret, including murder.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 04:18 PM
 
10,226 posts, read 7,505,326 times
Reputation: 23155
Quote:
Originally Posted by BamaBlue View Post
I was at lunch and saw a friend's wife at lunch with a man who was not her husband. They seemed rather intimate. Snuggly & kissing, having some drinks with their food. They didn't see me. Should I tell him?
Depends on how close you are to the husband. If you are close friends, yes, you need to mention it. But add that there may have been a reason for the wife's date (your friend may be having marital woes...maybe HE has a gf).

If you don't know him that well, or you're just casual friends, don't mention it.

If you are CLOSE friends, and he finds out later you knew this and didn't warn him, it will probably cost you the friendship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2015, 04:37 PM
 
9,837 posts, read 4,599,865 times
Reputation: 7292
Quote:
Originally Posted by BamaBlue View Post
I was at lunch and saw a friend's wife at lunch with a man who was not her husband. They seemed rather intimate. Snuggly & kissing, having some drinks with their food. They didn't see me. Should I tell him?

yes , but don't let her know it came from you.... bearer of bad news and all that.



To those saying it is none of OP biz, of course it is, just like being at a car crash.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top