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i learn this the hard way with a value of $3000. the person is not going pay you back, period. None of them do, that why you his friend. if he borrows $300 from you, and your wages at your company is ten dollar a hour, would you work hard labor for 35 hours free just so tour buddy can be happy. remember they take taxes out so it not 30 hours.
now that 35 hours hard labor all at once.
if you loan a friend money, that what your doing, they never will pay it back
On the above, point taken but if thats his mentality that 'I always have it', I find that to be a common and annoying mentality with some people who spend all their money lavishly. They think that if you dont spend like they do, then you must be sitting on stockpiles of cash
You could say something like, I'm sorry, but I just put all of my excess funds into a 2 year CD with a very good interest rate. I can't touch that money for the next couple of years without incurring a substantial penalty.
That way, your supposedly excess funds are not available, and you might be giving him some food for thought about better things to do with his money.
My DH's former boss used to do that to us. We saved for a downpayment on a newer car and then he came along and "borrowed" it. He did pay us back but I resented having to wait to get the car. His lack of funds is caused by a lack of control at the casinos.
As the thread states, my best friend of 30 years literally has zero conscience when it comes to money. He makes a good salary, and is out every weekend partying, wining and dining, and travelling frequently. Its to the point of being obnoxious but hey, its his money and not my concern right?
Well, on 3 occassions the past couple of years an emergency has arisen where he has asked me for money. The first two occassions I loaned him the money trying to 'be a friend'. On this last occassion a few months ago I said no, I didnt have the money( I did in my savings but it was a tough month financially). But my primary reason for saying no was that I wanted him to learn a lesson that at some point, life will throw you a curveball and youll need rainy day money to deal with it. Clearly it didnt work because he still spends as stupidly as ever.
What would you do in this situation? Am I being a friend by lending him money? Am I putting him in bad habits of thinking he can come to me when he runs short, while continuing to spend recklessly because he thinks he can count on me( except this last time). Am I overstepping bounds by talking to him about his habits, or is he best left alone? What is the better 'being a true friend' thing to do here?
Friends don't try to teach friends lessons about financial responsibility. You shouldn't try to lecture him about his bad habits either. Saying "no" would be the best way to teach him any lesson you want to teach him.
Did he pay you back the money you loaned him last time? If he didn't, will you be my friend too?
I think lending your friend is enabling bad behavior. Kudos to you for insisting on repayment, but how tiresome would it be to have to nag your friend again? I agree with the others who say, "just say no." You don't need to offer a reason. If he presses you, tell him you can't spare anything.
If he gets into a jam, and really seems worried or panicky, then I would have him sign a contract that specifies a payment plan. Asking for collateral is also not a bad idea. Make him give you something he values.
Wait - he has a wife? Then hell no. They need to work out their own financial situation. You need to continue to say NO.
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