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We are raised to exist within a community...and then the community stops.
I sometimes have revelations after sleeping. This was one of them.
So, our first 18 years, when our brains are most actively absorbing knowledge, are spent in a community environment. We have school at minimum, sometimes youth organizations and sports. In our earlier years we have recess. We're forced to communicate with, and to at least some extent, work with a diverse society.
I've heard of many home-schooling parents who get their youth active in group activities too, so this will often apply to them as well.
If we went to a 4 year college we've either lived around or spent enormous amounts of time around a diverse group of people for an additional few years.
And then it stops...the community ends. We are no longer members of a community. We have jobs, but jobs are oftentimes not the social environments we were raised to live within.
Sometimes we can find a mate and begin a family...but that's not a community either. It's too small. It lacks the diversity of where we were raised.
So...where do we find the community we were raised to perceive as our natural habitat again? Citi-Data? writing stories? Getting a job in public service?
To re-discover this community I crave I post on Citi-Data and write fiction stories. (A small number of friends, I don't really see counting as a community, by the way. It's not diverse enough and it's not numerous enough. I do see writing stories as counting, because it forces you to anticipate the reactions of a diverse group of people, and allows you communicate whatever ideas, revelations, insights, etc. you want to them). Having a frequently active relationship with several neighbors might count though because you don't get to choose your neighbors, so it at least requires that skill at getting along with anybody.
What do you do to rediscover this sense of community, if you crave a sense of community?
I don't think community stops, but it takes a different form than childhood. You have to seek it out, through groups and organizations connected to your interests and/or passions. Its secondary to earning a living to provide for yourself, as compared to childhood when you don't have those worries and responsibilities and can focus only on education and socialization.
You've spent the 1st part of your life learning about yourself-your interests, preferences, abilities. While that learning never really stops, it's now up to you to determine what you want in your life-what types of people, what activities, what type environment.
You've learned the colors now go paint your canvas.
Communities continue to exist in adulthood. Churches, fraternal orders, neighborhood associations, book clubs, online interest groups, continuing education classes, social networking sites, and so on and so on and so on, all serve to provide a setting for communal interaction. Better yet, they are typically organized around a particular topic or interest or point of commonality, so one can choose the group(s) that best suit their own interests.
We are raised to exist within a community...and then the community stops.
I sometimes have revelations after sleeping. This was one of them.
So, our first 18 years, when our brains are most actively absorbing knowledge, are spent in a community environment. We have school at minimum, sometimes youth organizations and sports. In our earlier years we have recess. We're forced to communicate with, and to at least some extent, work with a diverse society.
I've heard of many home-schooling parents who get their youth active in group activities too, so this will often apply to them as well.
If we went to a 4 year college we've either lived around or spent enormous amounts of time around a diverse group of people for an additional few years.
And then it stops...the community ends. We are no longer members of a community. We have jobs, but jobs are oftentimes not the social environments we were raised to live within.
Sometimes we can find a mate and begin a family...but that's not a community either. It's too small. It lacks the diversity of where we were raised.
So...where do we find the community we were raised to perceive as our natural habitat again? Citi-Data? writing stories? Getting a job in public service?
To re-discover this community I crave I post on Citi-Data and write fiction stories. (A small number of friends, I don't really see counting as a community, by the way. It's not diverse enough and it's not numerous enough. I do see writing stories as counting, because it forces you to anticipate the reactions of a diverse group of people, and allows you communicate whatever ideas, revelations, insights, etc. you want to them). Having a frequently active relationship with several neighbors might count though because you don't get to choose your neighbors, so it at least requires that skill at getting along with anybody.
What do you do to rediscover this sense of community, if you crave a sense of community?
I get what you're saying about school. The sense of community there is unique, and when you leave, there's not much to take its place. There's an idea I recently heard about being in a 'container' (a common place where you show up on a regular basis) in order to have a community, and school provides that.
Making buddies at work seems a bad idea...so many things can backfire.
Neighborhoods used to be more of a community. Now, not so much.
Church? Clubs? Maybe for some. Now I'm nostalgic for School Days.
I agree with you 100% I'm an introvert (mostly) so having that community around to participate in was good. I could withdraw if I wanted, but it was generally there.
I find adulthood very isolating. Marriage put a damper on my social life because I become so focused on one person. Activities/clubs etc are harder to negotiate when you work full time. I really don't know why my family needs all this space to ourselves, and bearing all the responsibility for a single family home seems stupid. A vast majority of adults' time seems to be taken up with maintaining a lifestyle rather than living a life. And look at how much more isolated americans get as we age...so many single older people struggle to survive in the suburbs all by themselves.
When my youngest leaves for college i'm going to have to make a change. FOr now I'll probably get a condo so I can travel more. But my dream would be to eventually live in a co-housing community. If I can't find a suitable one, I'm considering getting a large home and getting roommates!
When I was growing up, I'd see my grandparents at least once a month. There was usually a holiday or some birthdays to celebrate. My dad's brothers were often there: they still lived at home with my grandparents when I was young. Then one uncle got married, so get-togethers included my aunt and cousins. My sister or I would bring boyfriends, sometimes friends or friends' families for holidays; my aunt's father and stepmother would come sometimes, and other times her mother too. I was always around a lot of people and like feeding a crowd. We moved away several years ago, which got lonely, but my husband's mother and sister and nephew moved to town. They are here a lot, which is nice. His sister is one of my best friends, and I adore his mom. We each have friends who come and go, but mostly we're about our family.
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