Why do people get annoyed when you call them Sir or Ma'am (father, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Maybe it is because some people might say it is a sign of aging or being older than the person who says maam or sir ..Im just saying I have heard it that way . I don't care one way or the other but I have heard it that way .
Yeah, agreed. I think it's because it often screams this: "Hey (aged) old lady/man!"
In a slightly different slant on this subject, I'm a Yankee transplant to the deep south, I live in South Louisiana for around 13 years now. I am a cashier in a pharmacy, and it's a little difficult for me, as an older woman, to know how to address some people who are my age or a little younger.
It seems that here, you address your elders as Mr. Joe, or Miss/Mrs. Anna. But How do you address them if you are older than them?? I feel it's a little demeaning to call someone younger than me Mr. Joe. But then, as a transplanted Yankee I sometimes have a little difficulty with the pronunciation of the last name, so I usually default to "Sir". Or "Ma'am".
I, personally, am never insulted when someone calls me Ma'am. However, and again maybe it's regional, but some people have a tendency to call older women "Young Lady", and it does plss me off when they call me that. I feel that that is insulting. My daughter and I had a waitress in a restaurant one time recently who continuously called us "Young Ladies". Sets my teeth on edge.
And it also feels out of step culturally - in most workplaces everyone uses first names, from the CEO down to the janitor. My son's teachers call me by my first name, as I do them (although I do refer to them as Mr. X and Ms. Y to my son, since that is what he calls them). I think that society has changed and Sir and Ma'am feel very artificial. Obviously, there is some regional variation, but it the point of manners is to make other people feel comfortable, then it doesn't make sense to insist on calling them by terminology that they don't like, just because some people do.
I agree with some of the responses. We didn't have to use the terms in the house that I grew up in. I don't recall calling any adult sir/ ma'am. If I knew the last name of an individual, I'd call that person Mr, Mrs, or Miss.
I grew up in Illinois, Chicagoland. I didn't start using the term heavily until I went into the Army. Then, it was drilled into me. I've lived in two Southern states since my discharge: Tn and Ga. I've also lived in Peoria, IL since being discharged from the Army. Yes, my incessant use of the words sir/ ma'am was very off-putting to a lot of Peorians.
From my experience, it's regional. I much prefer to be called sir than dog, chief, etc.
If a child is being raised to say sir or ma'am, you shouldn't tell them to call you something different.
Sure you should!
If you prefer Mrs Thinkalot, that is what they should call you.
If you prefer Mama T, that is what they should call you.
Sir and ma'am is a default if you do not know a name....
I think we can address the elderly or anyone respectfully with out the labels. Like saying how you today with out the Ma'am at the end or sir or whatever. I remember the first time I was called ma'am at 22 and was a bit insulted. Never cared for it since then.
I always found 'lady' to be a bit derogatory, defining all woman as delicate and weak and submissive, non of which applied to me. But that was my interpretation. We don't always have to pass down what was drilled into us as kids. At some point we are adults ourselves and can do differently than our parents and still be respectful of others with out the labels
I'm 65 now and don't really even hear it any more, if they even notice me. I could go to the supermarket in my nightgown and no one would remember me being there. Some days I find that rather liberating.
But when I was younger I fretted over things like that. My parents also made me address elders in a certain way. When you are young you tend to just do as you are told even if it makes little sense.
Plus times change and things we used to do just don't apply in all situations.
Gotta say it. If you really and truly get insulted when someone tries to be polite and calls you ma'am, you might be just a little too fractious for your own good. There is no labeling going on. There is no assignment of age. There is no imposition of social construct. It is simply a polite way to address someone, far better than saying "Hey, you."
Gotta say it. If you really and truly get insulted when someone tries to be polite and calls you ma'am, you might be just a little too fractious for your own good. There is no labeling going on. There is no assignment of age. There is no imposition of social construct. It is simply a polite way to address someone, far better than saying "Hey, you."
The bolded part is true in YOUR experience, but there are definitely geographical differences, as others have pointed out. Where I grew up, "ma'am" was used only for elderly women.
Here's a specific example. My sister-in-law (in her 50's) recently posted on facebook:
"Someone called me ma'am today. Must be time to get my roots touched up!"
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
