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I may have posted the question wrong anyways I see it as not the best time my daughter who is 22 and special needs had the vagus nerve stimulator put in April 22nd it was to hopefully help with her seizures well it got infected and they did surgery again last Wednesday in hospital 3 days came out Friday.
My husband has a large family 9 of them 2 have passed on as well as their mom his 3rd oldest sister older brother nephew are in town leave tomorrow morning well we have no room for them to visit I have a 2 bedroom apartment they are staying with their older sister her husband she is Jehovah Witness so they are not all happy about hanging around there.
I am tired and trying to be polite I am sleeply now they are on the way back with food we are not used to company or did I have a lot before I got married my daughter is like what is going on I was on my computer here yesterday in the dinette not being funny or anything but then was saying do they think I do not wont to be bothered or say I should fall to sleep.
I think my question should of been is it rude say I get so tired I do need to go on to bed get my daughter ready or would need a nap the latest my daughter goes to bed is by 8 no later then 9 I had started being in there earlier now they left at 10 last night after watching a movie daughter went a little before they left I had to get hungry again by then its 10:30 I got in bed hubby ate late to.
We have been only married 9 months so any advice would be good I am not cooking or anything like that and I did know they were coming.
Your post is really hard to read. Punctuation is your friend .
I don't care for my in-laws. If my baby needs to take a nap, I lay him down and nap with him. Two less hours a day I have to spend with them .
No, I don't think it's rude for you to do what you need to do to care of your family while they are there, which includes yourself. If you need to take a nap or go to bed early, just do it. As far as food, it shouldn't matter if you cook or order out as long as everyone gets fed (and they should pay for their own or alternate). I think it's rude for them to show up unannounced and expect you to cater to them!
No, I don't think it's rude to tell them that you're tired and are going to go lie down, or go to bed early. You have a special needs daughter, and you need to take care of you, Mama.
I have to spend a lot of time each year with my in-laws, who can be really overbearing. I'm not nearly as social as they are, and there's a limit to how much conversing I can do with them before I'm just exhausted. There comes a point where I just need to take my newspaper in another room for some private time (there's no reading a newspaper around them - they talk and ask me questions constantly. "Hey, what are you reading? Did you hear about that guy who went missing the other day? You know, I have a theory about that..." and on and on). I used to feel guilty - and they used to always ask my husband if I felt well when I did that - but after a while I just stopped worrying about it. And now they're used to the fact that, after a certain point, I just need my alone time. They're not worried about me, I don't feel guilty, and when we reconvene I've got more energy for their endless stories and questions.
It's rougher when you're a newlywed, too. They don't know you that well, you don't know them that well. You want to be polite, but it can be draining, especially if they have different values than you do. So don't feel guilty about going to bed early, or going into your room to "lie down" in the middle of the afternoon, or scheduling your own private shopping trip or walk in the park when they're around. Take care of you, and you'll probably all get along better in the long run.
If they are your husband's family he needs to stand up for you and be honest with them. "Thank you for visiting and Good Night. We need to start putting our daughter to bed by 8 PM."
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