My Grandfather Remains a Mystery-Grandmother Refuses to Share any Information

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by BOS2IAD

Reading that your own grandmother, who refuses to discuss who your mother's father is, made fun of your looks makes me both sad and angry to hear that. It was bad enough that other family members made fun of your looks but your grandmother of all people, should never have done that.

It was very inappropriate for your grandmother to make fun of your appearance. That is extremely sad and disturbing.

[JanND]

Originally Posted by jabber_wocky

Well that is a first. The desire to find out the identity of my biological grandfather, my mother's father is viewed as being selfish. Um, ok.

You are NOT being selfish. The other poster came across as personalizing her comment to you. I think that you should do whatever your heart tells you. Obviously your Mom is supportive of you doing this, that is the only family member you should concern yourself with.

You have every right to know your heritage. i hope that you are able to find out something....and be prepared for either outcome, good or bad.

This is your business, and if you find out, it is totally up to you if you share this with your Mom's side of the family....It sounds to me like you may want to keep it to yourself.

Also, there are several forums devoted to seeking out bio parents etc on this forum...maybe try to post something there as well as what you are already doing. Good luck to you on this.

[elliotja]

hi- If you really want to know i can dig up some research- I have access to a TLO (Trans Union) account- its basically has a lot of private information- if you're interested- add me as a contact and we can discuss privately.

[ccc123]

A good friend of mine was sexually abused by her father for years at age 16 she became pregnant and by some miracle gave birth to a healthy completely normal baby girl. Fast forward 20 years baby girl just wouldn't let it go about who her father was, eventually it all came out that she was the product of incest. She was devastated, in counseling for several years. Leave it alone!!!


I realize that this thread is two years old but it still might help someone to realize that if someone is that adamant about keeping the identity of a parent secret, most likely their is a good reason.

BTW, my friend and her two sisters testified against the father and he spent several years in prison.

[ItsRick24]

OP, I hate to put it this way, but I'm thinking either:

A) Your mom may have been the result of a one-night stand between your grandmother and grandfather
B) Your grandfather may have been married (to someone else), and your grandmother could've been a "side chick" or mistress
C) Your grandmother's (or grandfather's) families may have denounced them, for conceiving and birthing someone outside of their respective races/cultures...and even dating or being with another outside of same.

Such could be the reason why all of the hush-hush.

[dblackga]

Have you checked the census for the decade before or after your mother was born? You can also check phone directories if your grandmother was living in a large town? Was your mother's last name the same as her father's, or her mother's? Ancestry.com has access to a LOT of information. Also, if your grandparents were married, there may be a notice of marriage in a local newspaper, etc. Newspapers.com, for example.

The people who are saying "leave it alone" have a point -- your grandmother's not talking. I can think of SO many scenarios that would make people angry and defensive . . .

[Rowan123]

OP is from 2015.