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Old 05-31-2015, 12:51 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,119 posts, read 60,226,663 times
Reputation: 60719

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
Now that I think about it since he prefers cash I can just put a 20 in a cash card

So the only issue is knowing if I have to wear all white.

So you were going to go no matter what we've said here?
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Old 05-31-2015, 12:59 PM
 
Location: MA
1,623 posts, read 1,718,712 times
Reputation: 3026
Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
The problem I am facing is that I only have a white shirt not the pants and shoes which I believe is expected for this type of party. On top of that he prefers everyone who he invited to the party to bring him MONEY as a gift. So it's no way I can go out and purchase shoes and pants and give him money for a gift when I still have to deal with my own financial situations. I still have to buy some summer clothes and finish paying off my credit card, go on dates, and save money.


So I am not sure how he will take me telling him I won't be able to make it but I just can't and was not expecting to be invited to a party where I have to buy clothes to attend and bring a gift. And let's say I do find whites shoes and pants to go with my shirt, that would be a outfit I would not be able to wear the rest of the summer which would not be wise spending. Anything I buy to wear in June I want to be able to wear in July and August too so it looks like I will have to miss his party which may end our friendship.

Send your regrets that you can't go.....don't get all wacked out about a party. Either go or don't...easy.
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Old 05-31-2015, 01:00 PM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,901,044 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
So you were going to go no matter what we've said here?

If I don't have to wear all white I will go and just put a $20 in the card and be done with it.
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Old 05-31-2015, 01:03 PM
 
91 posts, read 189,853 times
Reputation: 56
In my opinion, it seems you're not really invested in going to this party, anyway, as you cite there are some financial issues and you wrote that you neither drink nor dance, (though if you were to attend, you could drink nonalcoholic beverages and sit and people watch), so simply decline the invitation. It's voluntary, not mandatory, and I don't think your absence should affect the friendship. If it does, and he cuts you off, then he's done you a huge favor. Good luck.
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Old 05-31-2015, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
11,048 posts, read 23,950,049 times
Reputation: 10901
Wear the white shirt and whatever light colored pants you have to go with and if he doesn't like it, leave the party. Or get a big white sheet and dress like a sheikh or a ghost or a mummy although that would take a lot of ace bandages. If you have a pair of old work pants, get some latex paint and paint them white. How about a painter's coverall? Those are frequently white and inexpensive. You can always play the "male" card and pretend sartorial inexperience.
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Old 05-31-2015, 01:35 PM
 
Location: South Florida
1,007 posts, read 1,122,812 times
Reputation: 1576
Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
He is a real friend but I have not seen in about 10 years because we relocated and he ended up getting married and having kids.
Wait? What? You haven't seen this person in 10 years, he requests a cash gift from you, and you're worried about complying with his dress code?? This just sounds like an invitation that went out to everyone on FB. I get these from people in my old hometown all the time. You can tell they just sent to the whole list otherwise they would realize I'm probably not flying in from Florida and not include me.

I would either totally ignore it, or if you really do want to reconnect with this friend, tell him you're sorry you can't make the party but would he like to get together for lunch or drinks?
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Old 05-31-2015, 01:54 PM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,901,044 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiona13 View Post
Wait? What? You haven't seen this person in 10 years, he requests a cash gift from you, and you're worried about complying with his dress code?? This just sounds like an invitation that went out to everyone on FB. I get these from people in my old hometown all the time. You can tell they just sent to the whole list otherwise they would realize I'm probably not flying in from Florida and not include me.

I would either totally ignore it, or if you really do want to reconnect with this friend, tell him you're sorry you can't make the party but would he like to get together for lunch or drinks?
When he calls me and says my attire has to be all white that's when I will decline because I don't have it in my budget.
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Old 05-31-2015, 02:01 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,119 posts, read 60,226,663 times
Reputation: 60719
He needs the cash gifts to pay for the venue.
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Old 05-31-2015, 02:17 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,102,689 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
When he calls me and says my attire has to be all white that's when I will decline because I don't have it in my budget.
He's not going to call you, if you haven't talked in 10 years.
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Old 05-31-2015, 02:28 PM
 
203 posts, read 370,853 times
Reputation: 252
Smile White attire

It seems you really want to go to this party and you will probably have fun once you are there. Do you do Ebay? I quickly looked for men's white pants before posting and there are many for 10.00 upwards, not knowing your size, I couldn't pinpoint, but surely you can do 10.00( take P&J sandwich's for a couple days to work). 5.00 or 10.00 dollar cash gift is more than enough for a birthday.


I totally agree with the other posters, asking for a money gift is more than tacky! BUT, the way you keep responding to the posts, makes me feel , you really want to go to this party so GO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many people do theme parties and your friend probably didn't think asking all white would be burdensome as some folks would have family or friends they could borrow white items from.

I wouldn't make these recommendations if it didn't seem that you really want to attend this party. I think this "friend" needs a lesson on etiquette.
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