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It' several years back, February the 14th and I had a seminar from morning to early evening in a nice hotel at the center of the city. At some point our lecturer announces we won't have a break so we would finish earlier some, taking in consideration it was Valentine's day so I IM my husband to come and pick me up when the seminar would be over. So once we're released I rushed down the stairs of the hotel and right at the entrance is a silver car with the driver inside waiting (our car was a silver one). As I reach the car's door I can see a bouquet of flowers on the back seat and I try to open but it was locked from inside. Annoyed a bit and because it was freezing cold, I knock on the glass impatiently for my husband to open and he does. So I rush inside, I sit and close the door and I reach for my belt saying "That seminar was cracking!" and then as I try to secure the belt I see the man for the first time and he's not my husband..then I realize this was not our car either.. I can hardly remember the man's face or what he said.. I just muttered something along the lines "I think I made a mistake.." or something and rushed out. My husband was by the hotel's entrance and watched the whole scene laughing. I was furious and so embarased back then but each time we recall this incident we laugh so hard! I can't believe how I did such a thing!
Okay...a little gross and a lot funny. File it under the "kids say the darnedest things" category. Many years ago, DH had a kidney stone attack. It had been troubling him all day (a Saturday) and by Saturday night he was writhting in pain. My oldest daughter and I helped him to the car, I held his head in my lap on the way, and oldest daughter drove. Youngest (eight or nine at the time) rode shotgun, because she was too young to stay home alone. I know, not funny, but...
We got to the hospital and oldest daughter and I supported DH and walked him across the emergency room parking lot. Just outside the door, DH vomitted into the shrubbery stones. Youngest daughter examines it (the vomit) and comments, "Oh, it was DAD who pigged all the orange sherbet!!!" People exiting the emergency room heard this and hooted with laughter. I just about wet my pants laughing. Oldest daughter just rolled her eyes.
15 years later, I still laugh about it. It was so typical of the way youngest daughter just came out with the most off-the-cuff comments (and still does).
Thanks everyone, I am enjoying laughing at all the stories you've shared! Aren't memories wonderful? I thought of another one! My Mom was priceless, she was hilarious without even trying. She had this "thing" where she always said celebrities' names wrong, like for Alfred Hitchcock she would say Archie Hitchcook, for Ricky Nelson she called him Nicky Relson, etc.
Well, when Dirty Dancing first came out in the theaters my daughter and I thought it would be nice to take Mom to the movies, so we went to see Dirty Dancing. When we took her home we all went in to visit a while, and Dad was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. He asked what movie we saw and Mom said "Dirty Duncan with Patrick Sleazy". My Dad almost went into shock and he was giving me a real bad look, so my daughter and I both spoke at the same time telling him No! it wasn't Patrick Sleazy it was Patrick Swayze and the movie was Dirty Dancing but the movie wasn't dirty, it was about a type of dancing and had great music. I think he was about to disown me LOL We had a LOT of fun teasing her about that one. But she was a wonderful sport and just laughed with us.
Years ago, I was going to help my pregnant sister walk down a steep snow-covered hill in Chicago. I reached out to grab her arm and my boots slipped out from under me and I rolled all the way down the hill alone. When she finally reached me, she said, "Wow...thanks for the help!" and we both burst out laughing.
When I was a kid I loved going to my aunt's house because she had a big in ground pool (before my parents got one). My cousins used to tease me and pick me up & pretend they were going to throw me in. My aunt & uncle had a BBQ one summer day and we had all changed out of our bathing suits into dry clothes to go home. I was still a kid at this point, maybe around 10 years old. All of a sudden my aunt picks me up & throws me in the pool. I started to cry, because I was in my dry clothes...and even my mother was annoyed because now I had to ride the hour ride home all wet. All of a sudden, my cousin SPRINTS up the walkway and pushes my aunt in after me! Everyone laughed and it sure cheered me up a little.
I think about this one time when we were traveling on the road with 3 small kids....they would have been 5, 3 and 1? And the 1 year old needed her diaper changed. We were in the parking lot at Applebees. We had her laid across the middle seat of the van, and I guess my husband was a little too rough, and when we pulled her diaper off, a turd went flying into the parking lot. I look to my right and see a woman sitting at a table staring at the whole thing. Being young then (mid twenties) I didn't really know what to do....do I fish the turd out of the parking lot? I am laughing hysterically, so is my husband, we decided to just quickly change our daughter's diaper and high tail it out of there.
Probably not the most socially responsible thing to do, and my 40 year old self looks back and cringes...but it was pretty damned funny at the time.
My best friend and I wound up both getting a divorce at the same time, so I moved in with her when her husband moved out. One night I'd gone out to a bar and gotten a little tipsy but not enough to go to sleep, so I decided to give myself a "personal massage" to help me doze off. Since I was buzzed, it was taking longer than normal, and I was turning it up, so the vibrator started getting louder & louder. All of a sudden I heard her yell from her bedroom, "Turn off that f*cking weedeater!!!"
Another time we were at her house and ran out of beer, and neither of us wanted to drive to the store. So we found a bottle of wine and the decorker or whatever it's called, and we screwed and screwed and screwed that thingy in the top, and it wouldn't work. Then we realized it was a screw-on cap.
I think about this one time when we were traveling on the road with 3 small kids....they would have been 5, 3 and 1? And the 1 year old needed her diaper changed. We were in the parking lot at Applebees. We had her laid across the middle seat of the van, and I guess my husband was a little too rough, and when we pulled her diaper off, a turd went flying into the parking lot. I look to my right and see a woman sitting at a table staring at the whole thing. Being young then (mid twenties) I didn't really know what to do....do I fish the turd out of the parking lot? I am laughing hysterically, so is my husband, we decided to just quickly change our daughter's diaper and high tail it out of there.
Probably not the most socially responsible thing to do, and my 40 year old self looks back and cringes...but it was pretty damned funny at the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
My best friend and I wound up both getting a divorce at the same time, so I moved in with her when her husband moved out. One night I'd gone out to a bar and gotten a little tipsy but not enough to go to sleep, so I decided to give myself a "personal massage" to help me doze off. Since I was buzzed, it was taking longer than normal, and I was turning it up, so the vibrator started getting louder & louder. All of a sudden I heard her yell from her bedroom, "Turn off that f*cking weedeater!!!"
LOL We still laugh about it.
OK, now I laughed so hard that I spit coffee all over my key board twice !
Lucky for me I have one of those keyboard condoms (as my adult daughter calls them).
The first time I slept over at my husband's house (boyfriend then), we'd all gone to bed, but his 12yo daughter came in for some reason, and saw me in bed with her dad. She started yelling that I better be careful not to get that nasty bread disease! She meant yeast infection -- we about died laughing.
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