Hate that my best friends calls someone else her BFF (female, male)
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First, let me say that no, I don't stay up all night crying over this. On my list of things to worry about, this wouldn't even rank in the Top 50. And yes, it's a silly little trivial thing to be bothered by, and plenty of you are way too mature and cool to bat an eyelash at such trivial matters (clap clap clap).
But if I could have a conversation with everyone else , I have a confession:
It irks me that my best female friend constantly refers to someone else as her "BFF".
We've been friends almost 30 years, and she has always done this. I understand why. This BFF is someone she's known since grade school, and they are still close after all these years. I didn't come along until later. And really, before Facebook, I never thought too much about her use of the term. I never thought it was a big deal. But now, with Facebook, she seems to have stepped up her "BFF" references. Any time they do anything together, she posts it saying "Me and my BFF doing...." She'll "share" memes about Best Friends and tag this other friend. And yes, I will admit that it actually stings a little to see it shoved in my face all the time.
So I have to ask: What is the point of referring to someone as a BFF versus just using the term "good friend" or "very good friend"? And when you do, are you consciously trying to let your other friends know that they only rank #2 at best? Or is it just something you say without thinking?
Moderator cut: deleteThis is seriously the only person who uses the term with any frequency. And naturally, it's got to be MY best friend.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-04-2015 at 10:26 AM..
Reason: read the sticky post about FB posts..please
It's probably said without thinking, but I really find it juvenile. I have one friend who introduces me as her BFF. She has never heard me refer to her that way, and she won't. I don't consider any good friend to be better than another, as an adult.
I did have best friends as a kid.
It does sting a bit when you hear even a good friend call someone else their BFF. You're like "hey what about us??!" I don't think I've ever been THE best friend before ha!
I have heard that guys usually have a group of friends and split their time among them while girls are more likely to have a BEST friend they want to share most of their time with. I think that's why it's harder for us sometimes to find that best friend, especially as time goes by, because just like with men, all the good ones get taken .
I am guessing since you mentioned that Facebook increased this, they live far apart from each other? If she has been friends with this other woman since the dawn of time, then that probably IS her one best friend and I think it's pretty great they have stayed friends and connected so long. The benefit for you is that (I'm assuming) since they live so far apart that they don't get to spend much time together, so you still get a lot of time with YOUR BFF. It's hard, but it's okay for the other friend to be her best friend and for her to be your best friend.
That is kinda how it was for me in high school. I had two girls that I hung out with mostly. They were best friends with each other (still very connected even though they live far apart now) and I considered one of them to be my best friend. We either hung out the three of us or just myself and the one I considered my best friend or the other two on their own. Though I was good friends with the third girl, we never spent much one on one time together. That's just how it was. Okay, I think I've rambled enough
Thanks for the responses. A couple of you mentioned "juvenile" and "high school", and maybe that's why it irks me. It harkens me back to the gradeschool days when girls would gang up on each other and there would be one "odd one out". I must still be scarred from it, LOL
As for having more than one BFF, now that you mention it, I have seen other friends on Facebook mention BFFs in plural, referring to a group of friends. This friend doesn't do that. She never makes the BFF reference about anyone other than this one friend, and she never mentions this person on Facebook--ever--without adding the BFF tag. By the way, the BFF does live a couple hours away. Not a long distance, but they do manage to see each other once a month or so.
Honestly, I really don't have an issue with this person being her best friend. I've known both of them for 30 years, and we've all done things together. It's just the constant use of the term that is starting to grate on my nerves.
"Best" is a superlative term, meaning that it is one thing that it better than everything else in its class. Having more than one thing be "best" is not really using the term correctly.
That said, while I realize that "best friend" implies mutuality, maybe it isn't so in this case. Maybe you consider this person your "best" friend (better than all the rest), while she considers her childhood buddy to be her "best" friend while she considers you to be a "very good" friend (better than most, but not as good as the best).
I detest that term, "BFF," personally. I'm 46 and have friends. They're all friends. I can see why it would irk you. It would irk me, too. It seems very silly for adults to do this.
You hate it because it sounds juvenile or you hate that she doesn't consider you to be her best friend forever?
Neither, really. It doesn't bother me that her other friend is her "best" friend. It bothers me that she feels she needs to say it all the time. Like she wants to make sure we all don't forget who her "best" friend is.
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, I have a confession:
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