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I just cut a woman out of my life after being best friends with her for about 15 years, because I had had enough of babysitting her drunk ass. Her boyfriend and my husband were close friends, so as couples, we hung out all the time. They would come over & we'd drink, then they'd spend the night. At first it was just all in good fun. But I'm older now, and I own a home, and I just don't want the responsibility of drunks getting hurt at my house.
This came to a head about a month 1/2 ago because I had taken her with me on a four-day weekend to the beach with a club I recently joined (my husband refused to come, because she was going). The president of the club is my boss, so I warned her ahead of time to chill out. Well, long story short, she didn't. The first night, we went to my boss's beach house to just hang out for a little while with the rest of the clubbers, and suddenly she disappeared. I went to look for her and found her in the kitchen drinking shots all by herself, with their liquor! So I took her back to the hotel where she passed out and I watched TV the rest of the night. The next day, we were supposed to go to a cookout at 4pm. Well she was plastered by then, and she almost fell off the balcony of the hotel. She passed out for awhile, then got back up when I had a friend over at the hotel visiting. She insisted we go to a bar and my new friend didn't understand why I didn't want to go. Well within an hour we were hauling her back to the room by each shoulder. I was furious. So the next morning I started packing my things and woke her up, told her we were leaving today. I didn't feel like getting into it with her about why because she never remembers what she does, so I said I have to go back to work to fix something. I dropped her off at her car when we got back, and hadn't spoken to her in weeks, until Memorial Day weekend.
We invited some friends over, we had about 30 people there, and she & her boyfriend were there. A couple hours into the party, my husband comes up from the dock and screams at me to call 911, that the boyfriend had fallen out. So I call 911, stay on the phone with them, get them to my dock, and go back upstairs to get out of the way. I walk into the kitchen and there is my friend, doing shots, while her boyfriend is unconscious down at the dock. I nutted up on her for sitting there doing nothing while everybody else is taking care of her boyfriend. I made her go outside and get out of my kitchen. They got the boyfriend up the stairs to the pool, and he insisted he didn't want to leave. The paramedics were still there talking to him, when my friend trips, and face-plants into the sliding glass door so hard, the glass bowed in. I was in the kitchen at the time and I could see her face glued to the glass, sliding down like a cartoon or something. The paramedics hear the thud and come running, and help her up. She insists she is fine, in fact, she opens the cooler she had originally been aiming for, and pops a top. Well, that's when I popped MY top. Unfortunately I made a scene, screaming at both she & her boyfriend to get off my property. I told them I would call them a cab but they had to leave, that I am DONE. I have not spoken to either of them since then.
Yesterday, she texts me and it says, "Are you ever going to tell me what I said to you in Daytona?"
I just laughed. I mean, she has absolutely no idea what has happened the last two times we were together??? I see no point to even tell her anything. Something has clicked off in my head and I can't help it, I just don't give a **** anymore. I know eventually I will run into her because we have the same friends, but I don't plan on hanging with her ever again. I don't owe her ****, as far as I am concerned. I am done babysitting.
What are your thoughts?
Do I owe her an explanation of why I walked away?
Last edited by convextech; 06-09-2015 at 01:17 PM..
My thoughts are that you fully consciously risked your job by taking an alcoholic to your bosses house. You should have known better.
It's your own fault.
Please don't have any contact with your former friend until you've been to an Al-Anon meeting (for friends and families of alcoholics). If you don't, she may try to worm her way back into your good graces, and it's probably past time for her and the boyfriend to bottom out and start getting help. These meetings will help you to understand the games she's playing with herself and others and better protect yourself.
Chances are, unless you keep the party going, she isn't going to be interested in hanging out with you any more. You decided to grow up, she hasn't yet.
I agree with all of you that I should have dumped her a long time ago. I'm not here saying that I'm a saint, because I'm not, by no means. I drink, but I do most of my drinking at home by the pool. In a way I feel guilty because in the past, I've been that drunk person. I don't want to seem like a hypocrite for dumping her, because I do drink. Just not to such extremes anymore.
My thoughts are that you fully consciously risked your job by taking an alcoholic to your bosses house.
My boss rented the house for that weekend for five couples, and I told him upfront that I was worried about it happening and that I would leave immediately if it did. He said he understood, and they all would be drinking, although not to excess, and to just be safe. I've been friends with him and in the club for awhile, so I had no reason to worry about my job in that capacity.
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