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I'm 29 and still have 3/4 of my grandparents, and the only grandfather who is dead only died in 2009. I got to 20 with all four grandparents, and will probably get to 30 with the remaining three. I was never close to the remaining living pair until the last several years as that grandfather was an alcoholic and did not sober up until he was 75, in 2010. I am glad I really got to know them, even if it was belated.
When did your grandparents die? Did you develop a relationship with your grandparents at a relatively old age?
My grandmother physically died at 91, in 1995. But our last meaningful conversation, during an intermission from dementia, was during October 1986, when she would have been 82 and I was 29. I was getting ready to pick my mother and stepfather up from JFK. She commented on how strong a love affair they had.
With a few minor exceptions, such as a walk outside during 1987 when we discussed the heat, she was in all senses dead. My other grandparents died when I was a month's old infant (paternal grandfather), my maternal grandfather in 1962 when he was 59, and my paternal grandmother early in 1963. I would have been five at the time of those deaths.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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My favorite grandmother who I loved to visit died when I was only 18, she was only 55. My grandfather on that side made it to 93, and he taught me a lot when in his 8os, such as grafting trees. On the other side, both grandparents spoke little English and were very much old country, almost mean. I never found them to be much fun to visit, and they both went within a year, in their late 80s when I was 22 and already married.
I didn't have much of a relationship with any of mine. My dad's dad disappeared when he was in his late teens. His mom died maybe 5 or so years ago, but I hadn't seen her in over 20 years. She was a bit nutty on top of being a drinker. My dad didn't want us around her.
My mom's dad died when I was 12. I saw him fairly often until I was about 8. That's when we moved to a different state. He visited a few times.
Her mom was the only one I had a special bond with, but unfortunately she died when I was about 2. My mom still talks about how naturally connected we were and how special that time was even though it was short. I have this vision of her where I am standing in a living room and she is on a bed, like a hospital bed and she has an oxygen mask on her face. She rolls over, reaches out and waves goodbye to me as the medics wheel her out of the house. It is so vivid, but I am not sure if it ever really happened or not. I am afraid to ask my mom, because it's possibly the only memory I have and I don't want it ruined if it's not real.
My last grandparent died a year ago this week. The relationship I had with her as an adult was invaluable to me (especially as I didn't have parents to speak of, by then). I take lessons I learned from her everywhere I go. It was a huge loss.
My grandmothers are both still alive. One is turning 95 this year and the other is turning 88 (I think). My mom's mom (88year old) has beginning stages of dementia and sometimes she forgets who I am. My dad's mom is still full of energy, memory and is overall a lot of fun. They both live in Brazil and I live in the US. My dad's mom came to my wedding 3 years ago after she had just turned 92, she danced the night away and was so much fun having her there.
Both my grandfathers are deceased. My dad's dad died when my dad was 15. My mom's dad died in 2011 and I miss him so much. We were very close though we lived very far from each other. We talked as often as we could and I loved my conversations with him. He was/is my favorite person in my family. I wish I had more time with him, I wish I visited more, I wish I could still hear his voice but I am lucky I had him for a long time and that I had some of the best conversations and memories with him. He was amazing!
When I was born, I had three grandparents living and one great-grandmother. My great grandmother passed when I was 4 - I mainly associate her with her Trenton rowhome and the pizzelles she used to make. There wasn't much of a relationship.
My maternal grandfather died when I was 13. I had a premonition that he would pass away soon, and I made a point to write my grandparents a letter while they were on vacation. He did not make it home. I was sad, but really, I was sadder for my male cousin who was closer to him than I was. Losing grandpa was really hard on him.
My paternal grandmother died when I was 26 and she was 96. She had suffered from dementia for years, and had been stuck in a wheelchair. I was broken-hearted when she died, but mainly because the sweetest person I had ever known had suffered so much in her final years. She deserved a better end. It killed me that she was so sweet-natured all through those awful years. She helped raise me, and I just adored her.
Finally, my maternal grandmother died when I was 34. She was 88 Again, there was relief on my part. She had just been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, but she actually died after a fall instead due to a broken hip. She had the closest thing to a "good death" of any of my grandparents, I think. She was mostly comfortable and upbeat and she got to spend time with all of her family before she passed. She was even flirting with the doctors. I had a hard time being sad after she passed because I had seen two other elderly relatives died of metastatic cancer the year before, and I was actually delighted that she would not be going through that. I miss her, but I wouldn't have wanted her to stick around for that kind of suffering. My cousins were urging her to "fight" and all I could think was "OMG, let go before the cancer wreaks its havoc." She was almost 90, for god's sake.
96 and 93 / 86 and 91, and yes, learned much and valued them when they we're alive and miss and valued them still.
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