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I don't agree with the others to just leave this alone. It can only fester into a worse situation IMO.
As his BOSS, no matter what kind of relationship you had in the past, would you not talk to an employee if they were snubbing you and avoiding you? I think any boss would and should.
You have to work with this man. I would call him into your office and ask him if your reprimand (CONCERNING the working atmosphere) upset him and would he like to talk about it? Maybe he'll express something that you aren't aware of. Maybe he'll try to backpeddle and say there's nothing wrong. If so, leave it at that and let him think about how childish he is being.
If he's pissy, then maybe he needs a little attitude change and you need to make it apparent why you were giving him the reprimand.(because that's part of YOUR job)
Either way, you don't need the stress of working with an unhappy co-worker.
The OP says that the former friend does his job and promptly responds to her in the work setting. She's clearly more concerned about the friendship.
Honestly OP, I think the assessment that he decided to formalize the relationship was a fair decision. If by your admission he's immature, it's likely to bleed into your friendship had it kept going on and you would have a situation that not only the friendship gone bad but the work relationship as well. Accept it, it's not like you can have him transferred out and the friendship restored then.
I'd move on and ignore it and treat him the same way you do your other co-workers. He needs to respect your position and if he is unhappy with you as his supervisor, he should transfer or quit. As long as he is doing a good job, the rest wouldn't matter. A real friend and a real grown up would realize the separation between work and play. If he doesn't no loss. Maybe you could do more activities with your husband or other married couples and you might find you no longer have a need to have a so-called friend like him. Facebook - really?
Congrats on not letting your friendship get in the way of you having to reprimand him when he deserved it.
I've seen situations where a boss and subordinate were friends and the subordinate getting away with stuff that they shouldn't have. If there were more bosses like you in the workplace who weren't more concerned about their personal relationships with their subordinates rather than professional relationships, we would have a better workplace.
You did what you had to do and your "friend" was too immature to handle it.
My assistant and I are good friends and socialize outside the office -she respects me and my position and I respect her. She is extremely professional and capable - if I have any concerns, I discuss them with her and we work on them and move past them. If we have a bad day at the office and are scheduled to do something later that weekend, we don't bring the problem home with us - she knows I'm a fair person and as look as handles her job well, she really doesn't have anything to worry about.
Um no. I do NOT want to sleep with him. lol.
I honestly just miss the friendship.
But thanks anyway...
I'm having a similar situation where I miss a friendship (link to thread I started). At no relevant time have we been work colleagues but I totally get it. I will long miss a 42 year friendship that has dissolved for apparently no reason. We are both heterosexual and happily married.
And in fact during the second-to-last time I called and he hung up on me, he said "I can't talk but before I hang up keep May 2 open for my daughter's wedding." I did get the invite and did attend; But the string of calls that terminated in a hang-up now stretches to five. I call that a terminated but unclosed friendship.
This is the problem with mutual casual flirtations at work. They don't actually mean "nothing". Each person is getting something out of it, or they wouldn't do it.
In this case the immature young man may have enjoyed being the favored, "appealing" one, and felt like you changed the rules in the middle of the game. You admit you found his immaturity appealing. As a boss, it would seem more appropriate to help him mature rather than exploit it for your own pleasure.
If you choose to speak to him regarding ignoring you, I hope you can also apologize for allowing your relationship to become rather unprofessional. You're both at fault IMO.
I don't think you should have a FB relationship with someone you supervise. Why would you want to read his posts, or he yours? When you became his boss, the relationship changed. You both have to accept that. Tread lightly here. You've "reprimanded" him and now he has to buckle down. The relationship changed. Find a friend at your level. I agree with another poster who advised you to leave the poor guy alone. Please do that.
If you treat him professionally, and kindly, you two might become easier with each other eventually, but you can't have a close friendship with someone you supervise, unless you two are lots older and share a lot of work history.
He had the good sense to cease all activity with you that could be construed in any way as inappropriate. Sexual harassment suits disproportionately damage men's careers and men's lives.
But women have been charged with sexual harassment, too.
Take the clue and leave. him. alone.
I think you're giving him too much credit. He only ceased his activity with her AFTER she reprimanded him. Clearly he thought since she was his friend that he would be able to get away with anything with her. OP is the one that had the good sense to be able to see past the friendship and do her job.
I think OP you should just let him go - he's shown his true colours.
OP you enjoyed the friendship and the flirty sexual tension (safe sexual attention) from your single male coworker. As his boss it had nowhere to go but to the dust bin. It's over and even though the "friendship" was likely terminated in a fit of upset over the reprimand, that it's now over is completely proper for both yourself and your subordinate.
It will never be the same again even if you moved to a position where he was not within the scope of your direct supervision. That is something you should have thought of when you took the promotion. Personally I'd look for a lateral transfer to another department so as to cut any conflict of interest past or present because this thing could still blow up especially if you hound, discriminate against or confront him. Good luck. You stepped in your own pile of trouble here.
Everyone likes a friendly boss but not a bossy friend.
Friends are friends and business is business and when kept this way, life is easier.
History has shown many times that it gets complicated when boundries aren't defined and then crossed.
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