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I agree give it to him back. In the case of being uninvited to the party I would have said "Well, if you recall you invited me, and made up an excuse why I couldn't go. Want to remind me again since you made an excuse for me?" And smile.
Don't let him get away with it. It's a balancing act until you get to really know him.
I work at a small corporation(about 150 employees) and I recently met this guy named David. David is married to a woman that I would not consider physically attractive, but that is fine for him, I guess(more on this later). I didn't really know David all that well, but he always talks ****. It was funny, I'll admit and at first, I didn't have a problem with it, even when he was talking about me. David is 28 and I am in my 30s.
When he was saying all that other stuff, I didn't know what to say, but it moved from me to then my style(saying that I looked dumb for wearing tennis shoes, when he wore boots). What can I do to stop this guy? It's really getting annoying!!!!
tl;dr: This male co worker, always insults me when I am around girls. How do I stop this?
Humans are an evolved species but sometimes things are not so complicated. He is establishing (has established) dominance over you in his mind and what he perceives is the mind of the females. He is sending them a subtle message that you are not worthy of their attention because you don't challenge him (they may not get that impression at all but that is his intent).
As a single guy, this bothers you and for good reason, because he makes you look bad. Think about what his vulnerabilities are and next time this occurs put out something very insulting in return or just be very dismissive of him stopping what you doing and saying your in the middle of something and he should come back later if he wants to talk.
If you want to think about this another way, he's a bully and bullies only respect strength. So respond in-kind.
we had one like that, always talking the junk, he would go up to 20 years girls with their boyfriend and ask to have sex with them, he was 65 years old. always talking junk to anyone, he love to embrass people. Finally company let him go, people was complaining
My coworker always insults me when I am around women...why?
I believe I read in a book once, that some people feel it makes them look better to others, when they diss on or insult or belittle others....that it will make them look better in comparison. I guess it's the sign of an overinflated ego, of someone who is also insecure.
I work at a small corporation(about 150 employees) and I recently met this guy named David. David is married to a woman that I would not consider physically attractive, but that is fine for him, I guess(more on this later). I didn't really know David all that well, but he always talks ****. It was funny, I'll admit and at first, I didn't have a problem with it, even when he was talking about me. David is 28 and I am in my 30s.
Well today, I was sitting down and helping out another co worker(who was kinda cute btw). I am new to the city and do not have many friends. Well the first thing he does is come up to us and ask me why I didn't go to his birthday party. I actually wanted to go last week, but he uninvited me and made up some lame excuse as to why I couldn't go. Fair enough, I could tell that he didn't want me to go, so I didn't sweat it since we didn't know each other that well anyway. Well, he uses this EXCUSE to come up to us and ask me in front of the new girl, why didn't I go to his party? I didn't want to be rude and say, "Well, u uninvited me" , so I just told him, "You know you had it on day when I was working"
So anyway, he begins to talk **** about me to this girl in front of her, and this wasn't the first one today! He did it to another one as well! I am not trying to hook up at work or anything, but it gets very annoying when I am talking to a member of the opposite sex, and he has something ****ty to say. I think he does it because he is jealous and he settled when he married his wife. I also have lost 11 lbs and I am starting to get more noticed by women.
I can't say anything about his wife or him being jealous because he is with his wife otherwise I look like a fool. When he was saying all that other stuff, I didn't know what to say, but it moved from me to then my style(saying that I looked dumb for wearing tennis shoes, when he wore boots). What can I do to stop this guy? It's really getting annoying!!!!
tl;dr: This male co worker, always insults me when I am around girls. How do I stop this?
Maybe he's subtly protecting the women from judgmental men who only see women for their looks?
Wow, lots of good answers here! Hmm, I am kinda on the fence about the whole confronting thing since I don't want to come off as insecure or that I have an issue, but at the same time, it makes sense. He is a bully and bullies only respond to strength. I will think about this and see what happens.
You don't have to go up to him and initiate anything, but next time he bites bite back. If you're worried about taking it too far, just keep your rebuttal to the same topic and level of snark as him. He may have such a low expectation of you talking back to him that it may only take a single, well-timed barb to shut him up for good.
If he still insists on hectoring you, neutralize him by making him unpopular. Do this by establishing good relationships with everyone else, especially your superior AND HIS. Eventually when you're chatting up coworkers and he buts in, they'll get annoyed and stop giving him an audience. Trust me bullies give it up when no one is on their side. Heck throw a party yourself (an I'm new in town apartment warming) and don't invite him!
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