Discrimination of single, unmarried folk? (senior, member, adults, definition)

[Sommie789]

Originally Posted by KaraBenNemsi

Anybody raising kids needs a tax break. Having someone else shacking up and living off the others persons salary doesn't deserve one.

Now that the Supreme Court clearly talked in terms of economics over fluffy things like 'love', marriage is a contractual corporate arrangement.

No one has kids to get a tax break.

[Sommie789]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

No, I'm not hating on love at all, I hate what he did to me, but rationally, not every man out there is like him. Basically in the beginning, when I left, over and over again, I couldn't understand what I did to make him treat me like that....and then I blamed him terrible...what he did was selfish and brutal....however, then, finally it came to me, and I knew I had to find out why I chose someone so dysfunctional...it really wasn't about him at all, but about me...and my choices...took some time, but well worth it...
You talk about delusionland...yes indeed I was...

Now, I'm happy...happier then I've ever been, more at peace then I've ever been.

While a relationship is good for you, it isn't for everyone. I respect your research and your beliefs on love...
My preference for being alone, isn't an act of fear...more so, a choice of self motivation and wanton....
you see, I've been able to accomplish so much more without a mate, then with one...and I love that feeling of solitude.....I like my own company, even if it’s just a little too much, because there’s something beautiful about being at peace with yourself.

There’s something comforting about knowing I can come home to myself every night and love it and I do love it. I am rarely lonely, like for instance I'm taking a day trip tomorrow with a friend. And then another friend's picnic on Sat and I work full time, so I am able to feel so accomplished as I've made it up the ladder in my career and it's as far as I want to go. I now am planning my retirement and where.

Society should recognize and marvel the loners and introverts of our world who are content with themselves and don’t need anyone to feel better about themselves. I don't. And the confidence is ever growing.

Because loving your alone time is many times a lot healthier than hating it. Those who bask in their own company are the ones with significantly fewer worries than those who need to be around people to fill that void.

The loners, introverts and asocial people of the world are the ones spending their time creating and growing from themselves, rather than worrying about what everyone else is thinking. And I believe the Dali Lama would approve.

I never worry about what others think of me, it just doesn't matter....and I chose my friends, they don't chose me. Basically, love my down time and being alone so much, I have to keep friends at bay and don't mind how I come off to them.

You see, much like yourself....a lot human beings are unable to understand anything beyond their own comprehensions...in other words, b/c I don't think and feel as you do, why, there must be something terrible mentally wrong, so you search for a reason which is negative. Not true...you have to view a much larger picture...we're not all alike, and we're not all social, we all don't have the same needs...and some of us are on lower plains then others...we all have a personal journey...and that journey, no matter where you go, who you meet, or who you chose or don't chose to live out your life with, is all for a purpose. Spiritual Growth....

I never worry about acting like I have something to prove, at work or otherwise and never worry about doing things I don't want to do. I just don't do them or engage myself in something I'm not happy in or with, and I am not myself or happy in a relationship. I couldn't even have a woman come live with me, say my mother or a relative...and when I do have company come from far away on long visits, while I enjoy them, cannot wait for them to leave.

I never worry about finding something to say, or about being alone, as I've risen above that. Oh my God, when I first left my husband, I thought I had to be with someone and ran around like a goof, b/c I felt out of my skin, felt like I had no purpose. Then I took my first vacation to an island alone, and found myself, and it was then, while sitting there alone, watching the sun set and rise, I realized, my purpose had been fulfilled, and it was time to move onto the next phase of my life. I also realized, I was like a mother whose child went off to college, and found herself and her purpose gone. It is dangerous, to make other human beings our purpose and happiness....(all must be within reason)

Ever since I was a child, I always felt, there was so much more out there...so much more knowledge....for instance, I used to sit and watch the rain drops...exploring aspects of nature, listening to nature sing...and realized at a very young age...that life was a gift, and used to get lost in thought.

I lost those times for many years...being with someone, and gave up my identity, or at least some of it, to be in love....which is compromise...I didn't like compromise, b/c someone in every relationship always gives more then the other...and hated that part...hated being smothered and followed...

my husband told me once, "there isn't anything you can't do", its not you, it's me, he said. He proceeded to tell me, that my independence and need for it, was like a challenge to him...he wanted to break me...and he couldn't....oh he tried, and it almost literally killed me. I felt the confinement of a horse, stuck in a 4x4 stall, never being able to get out and run free.

Humans, by nature, are extremely judgmental. Therefore, the only way to live in a judgment-free zone is to avoid other people, and I do. I wasn't given the gift of life, to live my life according to the way others believe I should live it. Also, there was a moment of time, in my life, when I did my parents bidding, instead of going off in the world like I wanted to...and regret listening to them and their small town mentality. I don't mean that as an insult...my parents grew up in a time, without cars...they married to have children and women didn't have dreams beyond hanging diapers on the line...they didn't even own dryers...lol....what I'm saying is....I wanted more, and was always extremely restless, not knowing what it was that was beckoning to me. There was so much more out there....so much more....

Same goes for unwinding alone by binge-watching your favorite show. Unlike real people, Netflix will never ask you annoying questions about your dating life. LOL

I can't stand loud noises and people...for me, it's like someone scratching their finger nails down a chaulk board. I actually hate loud people. LOL

I also hate the personal questions people don't mind asking...if I offer information about myself...fine, I'll spill my heart out, but hate it when people ask down right personal questions. And actually will tell them, "that is none of your business". You see I don't waste time with people who have no idea of personal boundaries...I have no time invested in them, and don't care what they think of me, nor do I need them in my life, therefore, if they are going to be braisen enough to interfer in my life, then I don't care about how they feel when I say to them, back off.

I love to go places alone, for instance to the movies...I can sit where I want, and see what I want buy popcorn with tons of button on it if I want...no one is going to tell me what to do, how to do it, and how to eat, or when not to eat. I don't care if I gain weight or get fat...this is the very first time, I have control over my body, my desires, my dreams and my life. I am able to keep moving onward and upward, with no one there to tell me how to do it.

and I could go on and on, but I don't believe you would ever be able to understand...and I'm sorry for that...just b/c people think, feel and believe differently then you do, doesn't make you right and them wrong, it's simply what works for them....and if you refuse to understand that, you can't grow...you remain stagnet.

your life is constantly evolving, and if yo don't evolve with it, you are refusing to continue to learn, and there is so much out there to lean, its astounding....having my own space is amazing....I get really tired of people asking me to hang out sometimes...and I tell them, this is me right now, perhaps when I retire, I'll feel differently, however, this is my life, not theirs...and I need them to respect my personal space.

My plan is to have no plans at all...just to go where life leads me....people label everything, unfortunately and if it is beyond their comprehension, the labels they attach to something they don't understand are usually negative. There is a great understanding of why some men, take off to lets say a very remote area like Alaska, and live there in peace and quiet, alone and love it. Some do take wives, and love it...but the ones that live alone, society thinks, they have some kind of mental problem. They don't...they are simply beyond the a point in their lives when they need someone to help define them. Doesn't mean there is something wrong with them...

I love to get up early morning when it's still dark, and go out on my porch with a cup of coffee, and listen to the quiet. There is nothing like it. I'm not a person who wants to talk in the morning, that to me is disturbing and loud, and hate it...it ruins my day....

I've also grown very selfish in this autumn of my life....and it's ok, b/c it's mine, and time is growing shorter and shorter, and I want nothing more to be left alone to do as I wish...with whatever time is left....and it won't be confined or attached at the hip to another human being....

Remember the movie, "Legend of the Fall". In the end, a bear gets him, and the Native American Indian says, "It was a Good Death". I understand that now.

I cannot, and will not, spend my life, living out someone else's idea of what it should be. No sir, I can't.

You say, the presence of love and admiration and compassion and caring and protection are what matters.
I have love, admiration, compassion and caring, and protection...the people I allow in, that I share my life with, I have love, and admiration, so many say, they admire me and wish they could be more like me...and I tell them, "then do so". I have a lot of caring friends...and protection, I'm self sufficent, have always been, I worked construction, worked on farms, and love building things, making things, clothes, crocheting...and can shoot a gun as good as any man, and will protect my territory if need be.

You are letting the person who hurt you win

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Sommie789

You are letting the person who hurt you win

OMG, that is "all" you got out of that post....

see, this is why, you are the perfect example, of why I'm single....

it isn't at all about the person who hurt me....

he won nothing....and lost everything....

sometimes when you win, you really loose.

Wake up

[leebeemi]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Which is why I say that the REAL discrimination is not against "singles" (a marital status) so much as "solos" (those who travel, dine, or otherwise choose [or not] to go through life alone versus paired or coupled). Semantics!

It's not discrimination! It's dollars and cents. If the room available can hold two (or three or four) people, then it will cost more for ANYONE to have it all to themselves when booking on a tour of any sort. This is simply because the "single/solo" is preventing full booking by taking up that space that two (or three or four) can fit in. You can only have so many seats on a bus as you have beds for travelers to sleep in. If my "solo" booking means that there isn't room for another person to sleep, they can't very well put another traveler on the bus. Not semantics--reality.

[otterhere]

Originally Posted by leebeemi

It's not discrimination! It's dollars and cents. If the room available can hold two (or three or four) people, then it will cost more for ANYONE to have it all to themselves when booking on a tour of any sort. This is simply because the "single/solo" is preventing full booking by taking up that space that two (or three or four) can fit in. You can only have so many seats on a bus as you have beds for travelers to sleep in. If my "solo" booking means that there isn't room for another person to sleep, they can't very well put another traveler on the bus. Not semantics--reality.

Perhaps not in terms of travel, but -- to take my example -- no reason not to also offer "half off one meal" as well as the "two for one meal" (dine in only, so saving one for another day isn't an option).

[leebeemi]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

maybe your trip doesn't, but mine did, b/c it was a bus trip...I didn't say anything about a plane...
and your example shows that it's more for a single person.

I'm going to say this again...there are bus agencies, that do nothing but plan trips...some are day trips, some are overnight trips from 2 days to 2 weeks. If you are a couple it's cheaper then if you go single. It was explained to me, that it's more for that trip, b/c they could very easily have sold that ticket to a couple....I'm actually taking up a 2 seat place, when it could be a couple and that is the reason why, which doesn't make sense to me?

and you don't have to be married....it can be two girls going....its still cheaper....two, a couple regardless of the marriage status....do you understand?

Why am I penalized to go on a trip b/c I'm going solo?

Because any person taking a single room, or whatever (it usually does end up being because of a room), you are preventing them from filling to actual capacity. Many tours will allow you to be on a list to be matched with another traveler to get the double-discount. You are not "penalized" for going solo. You pay a premium to ensure you can travel solo.

The "double" is per person, anyway. So that same room (and by turn, two seats) costs double. So a $4100 single means the single accommodations (whatever they are) cost $4100 total. At a "double" rate of $4000, those same accommodations are costing $8000. So the room you're sleeping in may be exactly the same, but it costs the "double" folks $3900 more. How does that discriminate the "single" again?

[oceangaia]

Originally Posted by TracySam

I'm proudly single, but no, I don't see there being some institutional "discrimination" against unmarried people. Are there pros and cons to being unmarried? Sure. But there are pros and cons to being married too.

Exactly. I think many here making the case that it is more expensive to be single are basing this on the cost sharing benefits of being a couple, but you don't have to be a "couple" to get this. Travel with a friend. You don't even have to kiss them. The "single supplement" is for having a private room. The hotel is charging a rate for the room, it is the packager that is dividing this in two and calling it double occupancy rates.

Or travel with two friends, split the hotel and rental car three ways, and now you are paying less than a couple. Does this mean that couples are discriminated against relative to threesomes?

Income taxes are one area where singles are charged higher rates.

[Tracysherm]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Perhaps not in terms of travel, but -- to take my example -- no reason not to also offer "half off one meal" as well as the "two for one meal" (dine in only, so saving one for another day isn't an option).

But how does dining alone or with someone have anything to do with being married or single? Whether you are married, unmarried and in a relationship, or unattached, you can go to restaurants and dine alone, dine with one other person, or dine with a whole bunch of people.

Offering two-for-one deals does not favor married people, or even people who are unmarried but in a relationship. Lots of people, attached and unattached, go to a restaurant with a friend or a relative. If a person is unattached, it doesn't mean their only option is to dine alone. I like dining alone, but that's true when I'm attached and when I'm single. But if I had a two-for-one deal, I'd just go with someone.

Two-for-one deals, whether for restaurants or for any other product or service, are good for business. They bring in more customers. They are not geared toward favoring married people or persecuting the unattached people.

[oceangaia]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Perhaps not in terms of travel, but -- to take my example -- no reason not to also offer "half off one meal" as well as the "two for one meal" (dine in only, so saving one for another day isn't an option).

Yes, there is a reason, businesses want to maximize sales not reduce revenue. That's why products are generally cheaper on a per unit basis when purchased in bulk. It's pure economics, not a social statement.

[leebeemi]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Perhaps not in terms of travel, but -- to take my example -- no reason not to also offer "half off one meal" as well as the "two for one meal" (dine in only, so saving one for another day isn't an option).

Well, never in my almost 50 years have a done a two-for-one meal. So, I have trouble understanding how it's discriminatory. The reason to not also offer 1/2 off one is because they're trying to bring more people in, to sell drinks, to encourage return business, etc. Plus, the full price is more than 1/2 price, so the $$$ coming in total are more. Plus, offering deals on limited menus brings the cost to the restaurant down for those two meals, plus labor for preparing two chicken breasts at the same time is not much more than one. Your half-off meal would cost them the same amount it normally does, but they'd be taking in less. It doesn't make financial sense. Why does toilet paper cost more per roll for a 4-pack than a 24-pack? I don't have room to store 24 rolls, so am I being discriminated against because I have a small house? No. It's a deal to buy in volume, and that will (almost) always be the case. It's maximizing profits for the seller, not trying to marginalize singles.

And why do I care about this? I don't know why this hit a nerve. I need to forget this!