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I don't know about this. I think many married people actually envy singles their freedom to come and go as they please, to vacation when and where they want, to date/sleep with others, to spend their money as they please. I have many single friends (divorced mainly) and we invite them to stay with us, to take trips with us, etc. We enjoy having them around as it "livens things up" to have someone new to talk to and vicariously enjoy their singlehood. Many singles have been through marriage and are now enjoying their freedom and nobody thinks they are defective.
I don't think anyone who is 35-70 and in a good or even adequate marriage is jealous of any single person's freedom. I really don't. In my opinion, being single and middle-aged sucks on such a fundamental level that it's superfluous to detail the negatives. Being part of a romantic team is just better in every way, emotionally, financially, psychologically, even metaphysically.
Now, if you are in a vitriolic or damaged partnership, then being single would be a better option. But a happy (or at least calm and content) marriage is a really naturally good and comfortable state of existence. The freedom of being single is an illusion, because what is that freedom really? The freedom to do all those things any time you want that are more fun and fulfilling when done with a partner you love.
I think the reason that single people in middle age and older are viewed negatively is that an implied conclusion is attached to that status. That being: why haven't they hooked up with a teammate when that paired state is so positive and so basic to happiness and effectiveness?
I am not advocating for this viewpoint, just observing that it is pervasive and at least somewhat logical.
No, if your married, you pay less....if your single, you pay more....
Wow, every time I bought plane tickets or train tickets, I don't remember ever being asked about my marital status so they could assess a different price for me.
Wow, every time I bought plane tickets or train tickets, I don't remember ever being asked about my marital status so they could assess a different price for me.
Same here. Unless I'm not sure what cremebrulee meant or is referring to.
I got married, and I foud out that its BS. Its nothing but regimentation and conformity. I am now divorced because I was bored out of my mind in marriage, and I did not like being controlled and manipulated by another individual. I knew lots of other guys who felt the same way but they wanted the traditional setup so they gave in to it. I love my children and don't regret having them, but I don't think that I would ever marry again. Marriage, for me, turned out to be a VERY expensive mistake. Fortunately, I walked away from that mess with most of my money. When I get old I'd rather will it all to my kids and to my favorite charities than hand it over to another gold digger.
And to all you single guys out there who have money....DON'T ever get married without an air-tight pre-nup.
Yes! The quote I've bolded above is the best piece of advice I've ever read online - seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
I don't think anyone who is 35-70 and in a good or even adequate marriage is jealous of any single person's freedom. I really don't. In my opinion, being single and middle-aged sucks on such a fundamental level that it's superfluous to detail the negatives. Being part of a romantic team is just better in every way, emotionally, financially, psychologically, even metaphysically.
Strongly disagree with you there - you sound somewhat sheltered, and you've obviously never been in a bad relationship - so you don't know what they're like. When I broke up with my last toxic girlfriend, it was the best thing that I had ever done. I wake up every day being happy that I didn't get married to her.
I also know people who are married that are truly miserable & always complaining.
I read through this entire thread and didn't see one item mentioned that was discrimination that actually happens. I've never heard of any company charging more for one seat by itself than 1 of a pair of seats. I've never had a hotel charge more for 1 person than a pair in the same room. I suppose there could be companies that are doing this sort of thing, but it is definitely not happening to the general public.
The only actual discrimination I am aware of toward singles is this:
The "familial status" part of the Fair Housing discrimination laws is not written in such a way that it protects singles. It also doesn't protect couples without kids though. It is written such that you can't discriminate against families with children. It is still totally legal to discriminate against 5 unrelated single adults living together, for example. But it is equally legal to refuse to rent to a childless couple. So this isn't discrimination against singles, but rather against childless people. NOT the same thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cruisereg
They also charge women less than men. It's a fact and I live with that "discrimination" every single day. Again, why worry about things you have little power to change?
When women start earning the same wage for the same job, then I'll start feeling bad about this.
Wow, every time I bought plane tickets or train tickets, I don't remember ever being asked about my marital status so they could assess a different price for me.
a lot of places do, and a lot don't, but go into your local area bus trips for example, and you will see, a price for couples and a price for singles on every one.
I don't like to travel with anyone....so...I pay the price, if I want to go....even if its only a day trip....your going to be shocked at how much more they soak you for.....
a lot of places do, and a lot don't, but go into your local area bus trips for example, and you will see, a price for couples and a price for singles on every one.
I don't like to travel with anyone....so...I pay the price, if I want to go....even if its only a day trip....your going to be shocked at how much more they soak you for.....
Okay, but this has nothing to do with being married. I guess some tours offer a discount for buying more tickets--that makes sense and it's business. Buy one widget for $6, buy two for $10.
Lots of married people travel alone, and would have to pay the normal fair for a single seat. Lots unmarried people travel with a friend or partner, and get the discount for multiple seats. It has nothing to do with being married.
I've never taken a bus trip or any kind of group tour vacation (egads!), but my mom (who is married to my dad) goes on those types of things all the time, with her friend, who also has a husband who doesn't like traveling. They get the deals for "couples" even though they aren't a "couple." And it's not because they each had to show a marriage certificate to show that they were not single.
I don't think anyone who is 35-70 and in a good or even adequate marriage is jealous of any single person's freedom. I really don't. In my opinion, being single and middle-aged sucks on such a fundamental level that it's superfluous to detail the negatives. Being part of a romantic team is just better in every way, emotionally, financially, psychologically, even metaphysically.
Wow, how miserable. Do you really need someone else to be happy?
I'm 48 and have zero desire for a relationship. So many places to go and things to do and see. Last thing I want is to have to worry about someone else's comfort or needs, or babysit someone who doesn't travel well. When you're single, the world is your oyster. You can come and go as you wish, spend your money however you wish, eat whatever you wish (bowl of soup for dinner? yes!), be neat or sloppy, be skinny or fat, sleep in or get up early, listen to the same song 62 times in a row on your stereo if you want to, watch what you want to watch, wear what you want to wear, work out as much as you want, decorate how you wish, spend as much time with your buddies as you wish, get drunk or stay sober, have or not have pets, live where and how you want to, and NEVER have to so much as hear anyone else's commentary on any of it.
What in heaven's name is there NOT to love about all of that?
Originally Posted by Marc PaolellaI don't think anyone who is 35-70 and in a good or even adequate marriage is jealous of any single person's freedom. I really don't. In my opinion, being single and middle-aged sucks on such a fundamental level that it's superfluous to detail the negatives. Being part of a romantic team is just better in every way, emotionally, financially, psychologically, even metaphysically.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big Lebowski Dude
Strongly disagree with you there - you sound somewhat sheltered, and you've obviously never been in a bad relationship - so you don't know what they're like. When I broke up with my last toxic girlfriend, it was the best thing that I had ever done. I wake up every day being happy that I didn't get married to her.
I also know people who are married that are truly miserable & always complaining.
You didn't read. I said being single is superior to being in a vitriolic or damaged partnership. I also said that being in a happy or content marriage is superior to being single. Married people who, as you describe it, are "miserable and always complaining" are an example of those who would be better off single.
But anyone who has both been single, and happily married, will tell you that happy marriage is the highest state and the best state for a human adult. And by happy I don't mean bliss. I just mean a situation where you love your partner, like your partner, have fun with your partner, pay the bills with your partner, have your partners back when times are tough, and build and realize dreams with your partner.
The benefits are so great and so complete that it causes middle aged single people to feel discriminated against. I think they are projecting a bit, because they view themselves in a negative light, as a failure to an extent.
Again, this may not be the truth for everyone. Some people have mental or psychological issues that prevent them from romantically relating to another in a healthy and rational way. Those people might be better off single. But make no mistake. They are living a diminished life.
Wow, how miserable. Do you really need someone else to be happy?
I'm 48 and have zero desire for a relationship. So many places to go and things to do and see. Last thing I want is to have to worry about someone else's comfort or needs, or babysit someone who doesn't travel well. When you're single, the world is your oyster. You can come and go as you wish, spend your money however you wish, eat whatever you wish (bowl of soup for dinner? yes!), be neat or sloppy, be skinny or fat, sleep in or get up early, listen to the same song 62 times in a row on your stereo if you want to, watch what you want to watch, wear what you want to wear, work out as much as you want, decorate how you wish, spend as much time with your buddies as you wish, get drunk or stay sober, have or not have pets, live where and how you want to, and NEVER have to so much as hear anyone else's commentary on any of it.
What in heaven's name is there NOT to love about all of that?
Being able to do ALL of the above, but with someone whose company you enjoy. I think you're just as miserable, not being able to be happy with another person.
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