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I feel sorry for you that you believe only thin, attractive (in your eyes) women deserve to go out and have fun. Not every club is a meat market; some people just love dancing and music. And if a woman turning 40 does want to indulge in a little meat market, so what? She's still a red-blooded human being and by no means old. I had a large group of Brazilian friends (in the U.S.) who danced into the wee hours at small parties nearly every weekend. These were women in their thirties and early forties with husbands and children, but they looked a lot younger because they didn't let American society dictate how they were supposed to age. Life is to be lived.
I get the feeling that the OP's friend didn't do much clubbing when she was young, and therefore that's probably why she wants to go clubbing for her 40th birthday. And really, what's there to do at a club? All they can really do there is stand around, dance, and/or smoke & drink. That's it. Why not instead have a houseparty? Hire a dj (and request that they bring along some funky lighting) and invite all the people she is close to, and they all can dance like nobody's watching.
I wouldn't want to spend hundreds of dollars to hire a DJ with lighting (plus get my house party-ready) when I can go out, pay a small cover, and dance like nobody's watching.
I get the feeling that the OP's friend didn't do much clubbing when she was young, and therefore that's probably why she wants to go clubbing for her 40th birthday. And really, what's there to do at a club? All they can really do there is stand around, dance, and/or smoke & drink. That's it. Why not instead have a houseparty? Hire a dj (and request that they bring along some funky lighting) and invite all the people she is close to, and they all can dance like nobody's watching.
One reason............Clean Up
I don't have to clean the club but I would have to clean the house before and after.
Here's what I don't get about these sorts of discussions.
There is nothing inherently wrong or right, good or bad about "clubbing."
Nobody needs to feel compelled to enjoy it and someone who doesn't enjoy it isn't somehow emotionally or morally superior.
I feel the same pretty much about any leisure activity. Some people enjoy movies, some concerts, some ballgames, some hiking, etc. All good choices but also choices that are NOT universally liked!
Somehow, though, when it comes to dancing/clubbing, there's a whole contingency that refuses to see that it's not fun for everyone and another contingency that can't simply say "not for me" and simply leave it at that. I for one don't assume that my friends will enjoy everything I invite them to and I wouldn't think less of them because of it. At the same time, if someone judged me for simply stating my dislike for an activity I'd be a little miffed.
But the better point has been made here...it's HER birthday so some flexibility is called for.
I just can't go to a club and I find it strange how overweight and/or unattractive older women or any woman 40 and older would want to go clubbing in the city with a bunch or 20 somethings? I just don't think I can handle it. Too many insecurities and I can't handle the crowd. Don't know what I'm going to do. I don't get how others don't feel the same way. 40 is too old to be clubbing. It's ridiculous to want to go dancing at a meat market club at that age.
You aren't going to pick up men. You're going to hang out with your friends, have a few drinks, dance and have fun. Are you too insecure to do that? Are you too old to have fun?
If you are, you need to work on it. You're too old to not be comfortable in your own skin.
I got dragged out to a club last year by some younger women I know. I'm 43 and thought it was going to suck badly. I was completely surprised at how much fun I had.
Yep, I'm sure she's gonna show the young'ns how it's done.
If you read the threads on this forum you would know most of the young ones would s*** their pants if a woman grabbed them and took them to the dance floor.
You aren't going to pick up men. You're going to hang out with your friends, have a few drinks, dance and have fun. Are you too insecure to do that? Are you too old to have fun?
If you are, you need to work on it. You're too old to not be comfortable in your own skin.
On the other hand, for a lot of us feeling comfortable in our own skin does not include drinking, or alcohol-fueled behavior. This can be for reasons of health (recovering alcoholics), or religious faith, traditional values, or a simple sense of sedate, mature, self-respect (not wishing to appear ridiculous in public).
Not everyone's idea of "fun" is the same!
Our correspondent might be the absolute "queen bee" of a church picnic or other non-drinking, non-dancing affair and thrive at it.
Being "comfortable" in one's "own skin" while dancing drunkenly in public is not for everyone, and "discomfort" at the prospect of it does not make someone a stick in the mud. It's just not her thing. And that can be a sign of maturity and self-respect.
To each her own!
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