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"This has to be one of my pet peeves! Often when I'm at restaurants I notice couples on their phones with dead silence, or sometimes a family table with complete silence. It breaks my heart!"
It doesn't break mine. It's better than people yammering away so we all hear one half of an obnoxious conversation, or be subjected to inane conversation about one of the Kardasholes.
However, if someone does that while out with me, I get annoyed. If you want to play on your phone, stay home and play on your phone. You don't need me there to do that, so don't waste my time.
I AM interested (which is quite different from combative and hostile BTW!) , which is why I asked you the questions.
When people are not interested, they SOB.
So you have not observed this personally, but read about it in blogs. Got it!
I don't care what strangers do when they are out and about! IF they want to read/whatever, fine with me.
Again, hostile and combative response, putting words in my mouth, making inferences instead of paying attention to what I wrote.
How many threads do people make and comment on featuring quotes from websites to illustrate their point? I'd say probably many.
It is irrational to assume that because I quoted websites that I have had no personal experience with the practice, but also it is not NECESSARY that I have, either.
It is common practice to create discussion or have commentary on subjects that are written about on the internet and elsewhere without necessarily having had a personal encounter with the subject. For example, one might discuss abortion without ever having been pregnant (or having a uterus for that matter). One might question a company's choices without having worked for or done business with that company.
So if my perspective, questions and experience do not strike you as sufficient for your selective criteria of who gets to speak or have an opinion on any given subject, you can dismiss yourself from the conversation and seek greener pastures where you might find your responses more appreciated.
Last edited by LolaSonner; 07-20-2015 at 12:10 PM..
Reason: fixed typo
I do; however, make sure I take stock of my surroundings whenever I am in a public space. I think that awareness is important.
Awareness for danger, yes, IMHO, but not being a "busybody." There's looking around just to get a sense of your surroundings for safety (which I think lots of people probably do unconsciously). The kind of thing I'm talking about is when people judge/condemn really irrelevant things like whether a couple is reading at their table.
Even people watching isn't quite the same, though I wouldn't do that in a restaurant.
I focus on my table, but I certainly will notice in passing others in passing. And I've never heard anyone "whine" about it, only commenting. It's not that it makes a difference - it's just that it's an opportunity to note what's happening in the world around you.
Noticing is looking and taking note and moving on. Focusing is when someone actually formulates an opinion about whatever activity is being enjoyed at another table and shares it. It goes beyond just noticing something.
I can notice a piece of paper on the floor, but focusing on it would be more like me talking to someone about it, staring at it, wondering why it's there, what's on it, who it belongs to, where it came from, and judging it as good or bad.
If someone at another table is shrieking into their phone, that's another story. Someone who is excessively loud or has their phone on speaker or turned way up is disrupting many other tables.
And I want to clarify that I'm talking about parties at tables who do not have a problem with phones or books etc. Of course if someone in your party is ignoring you that's another issue.
I used to go out to eat at a diner with my boyfriend quite often and we'd each bring a book and sit and read. We'd talk a little and this was fun for us. That doesn't mean that we never had conversations or socialized, it just meant that for our time at the diner, we liked to relax and read. We would talk on the way there and back in the car and we also had a penchant for long, pointless drives. We used to drive into the mountains in California and talk for hours and listen to music. But if you saw us at the diner, you might be one of those folks who gets "broken hearted" because we didn't talk "enough."
And then there was one time when a waitress started chatting with me excessively to the point where she literally sat next to me in the booth when she was supposed to be taking our orders.
I don't make note of whether they're reading or working or looking at a phone or knitting or chatting etc. I don't care, because I'm there for MY friends/family and MY food.
Agreed, and one thing that really annoys me is when people at other tables purposely listen in on your conversation. I remember this one time I was at Ihop in the middle of the night with a friend. We were sitting at a table having our meal and talking, when a group of three came in and sat at the table right next to ours(!) despite there being many other empty tables in the restaurant. It made for some awkward conversation between me and my friend, because there were some moments that the trio at the other table were completely silent as we talked.
I watch the food that is being brought to other tables to get a better visual of what's on the menu. That's about it, though.
I do the same thing. Especially if I can't decide on an appetizer (I'm almost always certain when it comes to the main course), I glance around to see if I can catch a waiter delivering them to see what they look like.
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